Thursday, October 17, 2013

Out-Of-Class #1: One More Example


(name redacted)
JRN 200

10.15.13

Slug: Acculturation of MSU International Students



            While walking around Michigan State University’s 5,200-acre campus there are a lot of sights that will catch your eye -- including the increasing international student population.

            The Spartan community is home to nearly 50,000 enrolled students, with 6,599 of those students being international students, according to the 2012 Statistical Report done by the Office of International Students and Scholars (OISS).

HOW DOES THAT COMPARE TO PREVIOUS YEARS? HOW MUCH OF AN INCREASE IS IT?

            Although this Big Ten university has a lot to offer, the question of why so many international students come to MSU and how difficult is it for them to get acclimated to their new life still goes unanswered. BETTER TO OFFER ANSWER HERE BASED ON SUMMATION OF YOUR REPORTING THAN TO TEASE READERS WITH LACK OF ANSWER. THE POINT OF THIS STORY IS THAT YOU FOUND SOME ANSWERS, RIGHT?

            Kelly Quaine, a junior at MSU who works in the International Center and also held an internship position this past summer as an International Student Orientation Undergraduate Intern, SAID SHE; ATTRIBUTE! has had firsthand experience with incoming undergraduate and graduate international students.

            In an interview with Quaine on Friday, Oct. 11, Quaine said she is still working at the International Center on Shaw Lane where she works with sponsored students. THIS IS AN EMPTY GRAF; I’D DELETE IT. IT REALLY DOESN’T SAY MUCH OF SUBSTANCE

            “Students get sponsored depending specifically on what their government is looking for. There are students who get sponsored to come to MSU to study a certain major, become proficient in that area of studies, and then go back to their country to work,” said Quaine. “They could end up working for their government or working for the program that sponsored them to come to MSU.”

            Yoshi Saito is currently an MSU international student from Japan who attributes a better education system in the US U.S., STED US as one of his reasons for coming to MSU.

            “The main reason was to get better education in the United States and also to find out about my profession [athletic training],” Saito said in an interview on Monday, Oct. 14. DATE REFERENCES AREN’T PARTICULARLY RELEVANT IN THIS STORY, SINCE THERE IS NO TIME PEG. SO I’D PROBABLY JUST LEAVE IT AT, SAITO SAID.

            Quaine said other sponsored students are just like domestic students in the US U.S., STED US who get scholarships from their government for demonstrating outstanding academics.

            Quaine said the duties for her internship consisted of helping plan and coordinate international orientation in the summer.

            “One of our goals was to get them to know one another, so we set up small groups of incoming international students and within those small groups there are two students who have been at MSU for a while, either domestic or international students, and they serve as mentors for the new students,” Quaine said.

            Director of the Office for International Students and Scholars Peter Briggs said in a phone interview on Wednesday, Oct. 9, DATE REFERENCES AREN’T PARTICULARLY RELEVANT IN THIS STORY, SINCE THERE IS NO TIME PEG. SO I’D PROBABLY JUST LEAVE IT AT, BRIGGS SAID IN A PHONE INTERVIEW that the orientation process for international students involves activities to help students build a social support network.

            “We also have a lot of content sessions about introducing campus resources for success, such as the writing and learning centers and academic support offices,” Briggs said.

            Living in a new country where basically everything--the culture, the language--is completely different from what you SOMEONE, STED YOU. NO FIRST-PERSON REFERENCES OUTSIDE OF QUOTES have known you’re THEIR, STED YOU’RE. NO FIRST-PERSON REFERENCES OUTSIDE OF QUOTES whole life seems as if it would be an overwhelming and intimidating process.

            “For the most part, from what I saw, I think students had a handle on it. I think there was some hesitation to the US U.S., STED US culture and I think there always will be, but the students get acclimated pretty well,” Quaine said.

            Saito is an international student who YOU ALREADY PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED SAITO AS AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT; YOU CAN JUST SAY SAITO HAS ALSO … AND LEAVE IT AT THAT has also acclimated pretty well to American culture and SAID HE; ATTRIBUTE! did not find the transition difficult.

            “Surprisingly it was not hard, but definitely different in good and bad ways,” Saito said.

WHAT WERE SOME OF THE GOOD AND BAD WAYS? SHOW ME WHAT THEY WERE, AND DON’T JUST TELL ME HE HAD VAGUE UNDETAILED ONES

            While on campus it is not hard to notice international students conversing in their native language. Some might wonder if international students can speak and understand English, and how that language barrier can affect them.

            Quaine spent a good deal of time working with incoming international students this summer and she said that for the most part it was easy to communicate with them.

            “Most students that come here, even the ones that are provisionally admitted, meaning they have to do a few semesters of English training, can speak good English,” Quaine said. “I never had a problem speaking with them.”

            The feeling of urgency that incoming international students must feel upon moving in to their new home and getting familiar with their new surroundings in the community seems like it would be a time consuming task that would take precedence over other aspects in their daily lives. ACCORDING TO WHOM? ATTRIBUTE!

            “I know that during orientation a lot of students were not necessarily as focused on the programs that we had set up for them. They were more concerned about getting their lives set up here, such as getting a bank account and a phone,” Quaine said.

            “We have a resource fair for the international students where companies come together so students can set up their bank account and phone line all at once, which is convenient,” said Quaine.

            OISS works to connect international students to the MSU community by informing students about groups on campus they can join that are geared toward international students and different events that they can attend to broaden their horizons in both the social and cultural aspect of life in America. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!

            “We work with many different nationality clubs. There’s a new club this year called the Chinese/American Cross Cultural Experience,” said Briggs. “With that club we are trying to connect Chinese students with American students.”

            “I’m technically on the programming team, and that means we do fun stuff for the incoming international students, such as orientation and the Global Festival,” Quaine said. “The Global Festival is a festival where a bunch of student groups put on cultural performances and set up booths with their specific culture.”

            “I’m also presenting a seminar called Life in the US. U.S., STED US The seminar I’m doing is about US U.S., STED US Culture and Holidays,” said Quaine.

            Saito SAID HE; ATTRIBUTE! got involved in the MSU community by joining the Japanese Students Organization.

            “It did not help me with transitioning to American culture, but it helped me emotionally because I got to spend some time with people who have the same background and culture as I do,” Saito said.

            With the wide range of organizations for international students to get involved in and the academic benefits that MSU offers, it seems as if international students can easily find their place in the Spartan community and fit in just as well as domestic students do. NO NEED FOR THIS LAST GRAF; IT’S A SATISFYING ENDING THAT IS JOURNALISTICALLY UNNECESSARY. IT SIMPLY SUMS UP WHAT THE STORY HAS ALREADY LAID OUT. I’D DELETE IT.



Word Count: 1,037

SOURCE LIST MISSING

ASSIGNMENT GRADE: (GRADE REDACTED)

INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: GOOD OVERALL JOB! BUT REGARDING A STORY ABOUT INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS, IT WAS ODD WE SPOKE WITH ONLY ONE INTERNATIONAL STUDENT. COULD WE SPEAK TO MORE AND GET A RANGE OF OPINIONS AND EXPERIENCES? BY TALKING TO MORE OF THOSE STUDENTS, THE MORE ASSURED WE WILL BE IN WHAT TRENDS AND ISSUES THEY UNIVERSALLY FACE.

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