Meeting/Police: Fatalspalooza

This is the time of the semester fatals should be trending down. But what I'm seeing is that they're trending up. This is not good.

Keep in mind, this list contains fatals from TWO assignments, so it looks a lot longer than usual. Still, these are more fatals that we should be seeing by now. Many of them fall under the general lack-of-attention-to-detail category, but the first one is a huge fundamental concern.

A quick recap of some of our fatals:

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PROBLEM: We quote DaRoza as saying, "I'm not injured."

SOLUTION: This is a big problem, because DaRoza never said that to us. Yes, he said in the police report that he was unhurt, but we CAN NEVER quote someone who hasn't spoken to us. Plus, we CANNOT make up wording that approximates what we know he said, and then put that approximation in quotes.

Quotes can ONLY be used to represent EXACTLY what was said to us, or to cite something from a document EXACTLY as-is, with proper attribution included.

By creating quote approximating what was said by a source in a document, and then attributing it not to the document but to the individual, we've created a non-existent quote and inferred we had a conversation we never had.

In journalism, this is considered making up stuff, and making up stuff is an unpardonable sin in the industry. Doing either of these things will almost certainly get you fired, and make your chances of ever getting rehired by anyone else in journalism. It's that serious.

Now, do I think you intended to make things up? Not at all, no. But intentions don't matter; this comes across as making up facts and scenarios. For us to make it in this business, we MUST know the difference, and never make a mistake.

Again, let's be clear: quotes can only contain exactly what was said. And attribution must be credited precisely to how we got the info. We can NEVER get these wrong, ever.  

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PROBLEM: We said the superintendent got a raise from $10,000 to $137,000, when in fact it was a raise of $10,000 (from $127,000) to $137,000.

SOLUTION: Take time to review material before we start writing to make sure we understand what we are about to write, and then after writing carefully review what we wrote to make sure what we wrote was what we intended to write and is, in fact, correct.

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PROBLEM: Inside of a quote we spelled too as to. Any misspelling within a quote is a fatal.

SOLUTION: After we finish writing, we compare every word of every quote in our story against what we have in our notes and/or the book, to make sure what we wrote was exactly what we intended to write.

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PROBLEM: We spelled the first name of Claire Sawyer as Clair, without the "e" at the end.

SOLUTION: You know this one: double-check all spellings of any noun (person, place or thing), statistical unit and quotes to make sure what you wrote is correct.

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PROBLEM: We identified Claire Sawyer as Chris Sawyer.

SOLUTION: Same as above.

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PROBLEM: We spelled the last name of Adler as Alder, with the L and D reversed. Two of us did this!

SOLUTION: You know this one. We just need to do it, every time, with no exceptions.

Plus, this is a situation where if we blindly clicked on every suggested change offered by spell check, we may have inserted an error into the story. That's because Adler isn't a word (it's just a name, which is something spell check generally doesn't recognize as a word); it would probably suggest we change it to Alder, which is a word (it's a noun meaning, a reddish type of wood from the genus Alnus).

If we weren't paying attention and just clicking on all recommended changes, then this may have happened to us. Given the rate of this mistake being made, I strongly suspect it happened at least once.

Just another reason why spell check is a supplement to, but not a substitute for, checking your work with your own eyes, line-by-line, noun-by-noun, number-by-number and and quote-by-quote. 


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PROBLEM: We spelled the last name of a school board member as Vacante and Vancate.

SOLUTION: Properly proofreadfing the story using your own eyes would have revealed two spellings for one name, for which at least one has to be wrong. That should have prompted us to then double-check what the correct spelling was in the text, and that would have indicated both spellings were wrong.

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PROBLEM: We spelled the name of the town as Grand Ledge and Grande Ledge.

SOLUTION: Same as above.

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PROBLEM: We say Okemos Police responded to the robbery. Although the robbery was in Okemos, the responding police agency was the Ingham County Sheriff's Department.

SOLUTION: Don't assume; make sure you understand all the facts as they are before we start writing. We need to be precise with names. Be sure to double-check the spellings of ALL names-- whether of people or businesses or pets or towns or whatever -- both before and after writing.

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PROBLEM: We referred to Terry DaRoza as a she. In the report, DaRoza is referred to as a he.

SOLUTION: Again, pay attention to details. Assume nothing and check everything.

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PROBLEM: We said the second suspect fled in a Toyota Celica. But the report said the car was towed.

SOLUTION: Same as above.

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PROBLEM: We said the robbery took place at 1:15 p.m. (the afternoon/midday), when in fact it was 1:15 a.m. (early morning/overnight hours).

SOLUTION: Again, same. Attention to detail, double-check everything.

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Learning to write isn't journalism. Learning to organize information isn't all of journalism. Putting in a system of checking facts before, during and after writing and organizing information is what makes this kind of writing and organizing known as journalism.

The good news is, many of my previous classes had fatals binges, especially early in the semester when we're still reconciling balancing speed and accuracy. The fact is, most people in previous classes get two or three or four fatals in practice stories over the course of the semester, and still end up with a solid grade.

The bad news is, some of us have already used up our three or so fatals. We have to buckle up and start avoiding 'em here and there.

Still, while this is discouraging, let's not get discouraged. The whole point of these exercises -- and getting fatals, too -- is to learn by doing, reviewing what was done, learning what could be done better, and then applying those lessons the next time.

And that's what we're going to do here, by redoubling our efforts to carefully fact-check everything we write.

In a previous blog post, I offered a number of cut-and-pasted handouts on good fact-checking habits. I'm not in the business of handing things out just to be busy; those handouts included many tips we should be integrating into our routines, so we can become relatively fatal-free. You can link directly to those handouts right here.

Let's not let these bad times go to waste. Rather, let's use these mistakes as an opportunity to identify where we tend to trip up and how we can do better the next time, and as motivation to follow through with rigorous fact-checking from here on out. 

Police: Some Good Examples

Note a good lede that gets to what the latest news is, a strong nut graf that sums up what happened that brought us to the point of the lede, short paragraphs with each turn of events getting itss own graf, and good and consistent attribution throughout:

One man is in police custody and another is on the loose after the duo’s attempted robbery of a 24-hour convenience store went awry early this morning.

Jiffy Foods employee Terry DaRoza managed to fend off two men with nothing more than his cane after one of the men pulled a knife on him in an attempt to rob the 24-hour convenience store in Okemos. 

According to the Ingham County Sherriff’s Department’s police report, DaRoza said the two men arrived at approximately 1:15 a.m. and asked to use the restroom at the store, located at 4010 Holbrook Drive.

According to the police report, DaRoza then went behind the counter to get the key to the bathroom but was followed by one of the suspects, local resident Timothy Keel, 19, who then allegedly pulled out a knife.

DaRoza, who was still wearing a cast due to an injury he had suffered recently, used his cane to bludgeon Keel, hitting him repeatedly in the face, according to the police report.  

The blows caused Keel to fall to the floor, which is when the suspect still at large attempted to grab the cane from DaRoza, who proceeded to beat him with it, causing the suspect to flee, according to the police report.

A customer then entered and helped DaRoza tie Keel up using their belts to secure him until police arrived, according to the police report. 

Keel is now in police custody and is suffering from a broken nose and jaw from the beating he took at the hands of DaRoza. Keel is being charged with armed robbery and resisting a merchant, according to the police report. 

The police also said to be on the lookout for a brown, ’94, two-door Toyota Celica which the second suspect fled in. 
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Here's another one worth reviewing:

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This morning a store clerk in Okemos apprehended one of the men who tried to rob the 24-hour establishment.

Terry DaRoza a full-time clerk at the Jiffy Foods, 4010 Holbrook Drive, subdued an armed assailant at approximately 1:15 this morning and with the help of a customer tied him up until police arrived.

DaRoza stated that he was cleaning a popcorn machine when two men entered Jiffy Foods around 1:15 a.m., according to an Ingham County Sheriff's Department report. 

They asked to use the restroom, and when he went to get the key from behind the counter one of the men allegedly pulled a knife, the report said.

The man who allegedly pulled the knife has been identified as Timothy Keel, the report said.

DaRoza uses a cane due to his leg being in a cast from a recent injury he obtained at construction job accident, the report said

DaRoza said that he swung his cane multiple times as hard as he could at Keel's face, according to the report.

Paramedics said that Keel's jaw, nose, and other bones in his face were broken, according to the report. 

At this time the unidentified second suspect attempted to grab DaRoza's cane, at which point DaRoza began to hit the suspect with his cane, the report said.

As the second suspect fled, Stuart Adler entered Jiffy Foods and proceeded to help DaRoza bind Keel with their belts, the report said.

Officers from the Ingham County Sheriff's Department arrived on scene around 1:30 a.m., the report said.

 

DaRoza said he was not injured in the incident, according to the report.

Keel was charged with armed robbery and resisting a merchant, the report said.

Police: Let's Look At Some Ledes!

Let's look at some ledes; first, this one:

The Ingham County Sheriff's Office responded to an armed robbery around 1:30 a.m. today in Okemos.

It's factually correct, but does it go to end resul and ultimate outcome? No. It's like those hypothetical sports ledes we looked at earlier: MSU football played a game Saturday night. It doesn't say how things finished, or at least set context. And in journalism, we start with ending and/or context.

The end result was what transpired. This lede got there:

An attempted armed robbery occurred today in Okemos, resulting in one arrest.

That's better, but there's still something missing. It wasn't a routine armed robbery; I mean, the clerk captured one of the robbers. That's different, right? So, why not highlight what makes this different, like this:

A store clerk captured one of two men who attempted an armed robbery at a convenience store this morning, according to an Ingham County sheriff's report.

Now, the reader knows not just that something happened, but what happened and how it ended.

It's fair to say what made this story stand out from other armed robbery stories is that the victim caught the suspect. What made it stand out among stories where the victim caught the suspect is that the victim was lame. This lede captured that extra element:

An armed robbery attempt at Jiffy Foods, 4010 Holbrook Drive in Okemos, was foiled by a clerk who had recently been injured in a construction job. 

Yet another lede developed that context -- a lame victim beating a robber -- a bit more.  This more anecdotal lede is followed by a nut graf that helped zero in on the basic details of end result:

While many view being cane-dependent as a handicap, Jiffy Foods clerk Terry DaRoza saw it as an advantage that helped save his life in an armed robbery late last night.

DaRoza, recently injured in a construction job, had to resort to violence when two customers threatened him with a knife at the convenience store on Holbrook Drive at 1:15 a.m., according to an Ingham County Sheriff's report.

This lede/nut graf combo did an outstanding job of setting context and offering basic details. Look carefully at how the nut graf answers specific questions created by the lede; e.g., who was the clerk, who was the robber, how did he defend himself, where and when did this happen, ect.

An injured convenience store clerk used his cane in self-defense this morning when two armed men  tried to rob Jiffy Foods, according to an Ingham County Sheriff's Department report.

At about 1:15 a.m., Terry DaRoza, 34, beat Timothy Keel with his cane after Keel allegedly pulled a knife on DaRoza at the store located at 4010 Holbrook Drive, the report said.

Then the story starts a chronological narrative. But the reader already known end result and context.

Police: Peanut Barrel Rule

I'm kind of surprised that few of you cited something that to me stood out like a sore thumb: the fact that the cane-wielding victim was almost 6 1/2 feet tall, while the would-be alleged robber he beat was fit but not much over five feet tall and weighed less than half as much as the victim.

Isn't that a Peanut Barrel-type of item? Isn't that sharp contrast in size what takes an out-of-the-ordinary robbery story (unusual in that the victim beat off the attacker) and make it even more unique?

I'm not shocked that many of you didn't weave it into your ledes, because to do that is doable but a bit complex. I'm just surprised few few of you noted that bit of interest.

Any explanations?

As journalists, it's important that even when we are looking at what we think is a routine event, that we are always on the lookout for something that makes it a bit different and a bit more interesting. Even if that bit of interest is buried in the nuances of a police report.

Some of you did, however, note the victim's disability-turned-advantage. This lede did that, smartly:

A man with a cane should not be underestimated.

Police: Nut Grafs Are Driving You Nuts

One of youze did a nice alternate lede, but the nut graf fell a bit short. Here was the sequence:

One left in a jiffy. And the other? Not so much.

Jiffy Foods, located in Okemos, was the target of an attempted robbery by two men early this morning.

Then, you start with the chronological narrative of how things unfolded.

First off, the lede was cute and a great teasing set-up for the nut graf.

Now, the nut graf does half of what a good nut graf does, in expanding upon the lede. It says where they left, and what they were doing there.

But the nut graf falls short in another area, and that's answering critical questions created by the lede. Like, why did the one guy stay? And why did the other guy leave in a jiffy? Those question was central to your lede, and you leave the reader still guessing after the nut graf.

I mean, after reading the lede and nut graf, the reader is left guessing what we meant with the whole jiffy/not so much thing. And we can't leave them hanging like that.

A better nut graf would say something like this:

Two men walked into Jiffy Foods in Okemos as part of an alleged armed robbery attempt, but only one of the suspects was able to flee after the other was beaten by a clerk wielding a cane.

Now, we can go on to the narrative, because the reader knows what the lede meant.

Be sure that you carefully look at your lede, and think about what people need to immediately know for that lede to make sense if they don't read anything other than the lede and nut graf. What they need to know goes in your nut graf.

Police: Attribution

How do we know this?

DaRoza said that he swung the cane as hard as he could into Keel's face.

Is it because DaRoza said it to us?

No, it's not. It's because DaRoza told the cops, and the cops put it in their report, and we read the report. So, proper attribution would be something like this:

DaRoza said that he swung the cane as hard as he could into Keel's face, according to a sheriff's report.

Let's not forget attribution. Attribution needs to go with everything we didn't witness, and needs to be attributed to the source of information. Often, that source is someone we interviewed. But in other cases, like here, it's the police report we read. Be sure to cite it, so people know from where you got your information.

So, if your source is a police report, treat attribution to that report in the exact same way we would treat attribution from an interview subject. And that's true whether our source of information is a person or a report or a stone tablet or graffiti on a wall.

In this story, odds were you should have offered a repeated, according to the police report over and over again, in graf after graf. That's okay. Just like human source attribution, we simply need to be consistent and thorough, even if it is a bit repetitive.

Also, in this story it would have been wrong to attribute things to the responding officer. That's because you didn't get information from the officer, you got it from the report he wrote.

If we talk so someone, we attribute the person. If we get it from a report the person wrote, then we either attribute it to so-and-so-wrote in a report (or, in the case of witnesses, so-and-so said, according to the report), or we simply attribute it to just, the report said.

Police: Allegedly!

Especially when reporting on crime and courts, it's hard to use the word allegedly enough. At the time accusations are made, they are alleged; that is, thaey have yet to be proven in a court of law.

So, it's important that we properly attribute things as being alleged.

For example, it's not alleged that Timothy Keel entered the store. He has a face full of broken bones proving he was there. And it's not a crime to get your ass kicked (though it may be a crime to do the ass-kicking).

What is alleged is whether he pulled a knife, and tried to commit a crime.

So, where does allegedly fit in here?

DaRoza walked behind the counter for the key to the restroom when Keel followed him and exposed a knife.

Before "exposed a knife," right? Like this:


DaRoza walked behind the counter for the key to the restroom when Keel followed him and allegedly exposed a knife.

When something is being alleged, do use allegedly. And when in doubt, be safe and use allegedly.

Police: Who, What, When, WHERE, Why

In many of our stories we noted the store in question was in Okemos. That's good. It's key among the 5 W's: where.

But, a reader may ask, which store in Okemos? Is there just one? Is it the Jiffy Foods down the street?

So, as a secondary elaboration of location, it would have been nice to specify that by offering an address: 4010 Holbrook Drive.

It didn't need to be in the lede, or even the nut graf. But offering a specific like that is what the body of the story is for., The lede and nut graf sums things up, and the body offers a greater level of detail.

Police: Writing With (AP) Style

Was the address of the store 4010 Holbrook Dr., or 4010 Holbrook Drive?

It's Drive, spelled out.

AP Style under addresses says to abbreviate avenue, boulevard and street when it's part of a specific address. But similar words like alley, drive, road and terrace are always spelled out, no matter what.

I know the report had drive abbreviated, but our job as journalists is to translate anything except direct citations and quotes into AP style.

Now, is it stupid that AP Style is being inconsistent on how to be consistent with addresses? I think so, absolutely.

But that doesn't matter, since AP Style is the standard by which most news organizations go when it comes to how they use facts and terms. So, we have to learn it for that practical reason: if we go into media, we'll have to know it. Even if some of it doesn't make sense.

Finally, I don't believe we're still on this,but ... the general AP Style number rule is that we spell out numbers from zero to nine (just like that, zero and nine, not 0 and 9) and that we use digits for 10 and above (just like that; 10, and not ten).

Next person who fails to adhere to the AP numbers rule, I chop off a finger.Yours, not mine. :)

JRN 200: Your Tuesday 6/30 Homework

For your reading, please read Chapter 19 (p. 504-534) in Reporting For The Media, 10th Edition, by Wednesday afternoon.

Also, due by 9 a.m. Wednesday will be a practice story, slugged RESCUE. For this story, use the fire department report found in Ch. 18, Ex. 6, p. 492 of RFTM, 10th Edition. Please send your assignment to omars@msu.edu.

For this exercise, the city and fire department in question are those of East Lansing. Also, military time is used in this report, which you'll have to translate into regular time. A primer on military time can be found here.

Also, please keep working on your first out-of-class story. Your deadline for that is still no later than 9 a.m. Thursday, via email to omars@msu.edu. Please follow all directions as highlighted in previous blog posts and the syllabus, and good luck!

Meeting: A Good Example

Note the to-the-point lede and the strong nut graf and telling quotes tight grafs and ranking of information in order of importance and newsworthiness. Here we go:

 

The Grand Ledge School Board voted to keep using the same biology textbooks in Grand Ledge schools last night despite complaints from citizens that the books do not teach creationism.

After a lively public hearing that about 100 people attended, the board voted 6-3 to continue using the current textbooks.

“We’ve seen your biology books,” Grand Ledge parent Claire Sawyer said. “I don’t want my children using them. They never mention the theory of creationism.”

The debate went back and forth among members of the public in attendance.

“Evolution isn’t a theory,” Grand Ledge parent Harley Euon said. “It’s a proven fact. Creationism is a religious idea, not even a scientific theory. People here are trying to force schools to teach our children their religion.”

After the vote in favor of the current textbooks, the board said they encourage parents to discuss the matter of creationism versus evolution in their individual homes. 

In other discussion, the board opted to continue remedial summer classes for one more year, but to examine whether the remedial classes are worth their cost.

The classes, which the board said cost about $2.1 million, are set to stay for at least one more year after a 7-2 vote.

The classes are only used by about 900 students each summer, according to board member Umberto Vacante.

“If we’re going to spend that kind of money, I think we should use it to help and reward our most talented students,” Vacante said. “They’re the ones we ignore. We could offer special programs for them.”

Superintendent Greg Hubbard disagreed with Vacante’s assessment.

“Some of these summer students have learning disabilities and emotional problems, and they really need the help,” Hubbard said. “This would hurt them terribly. Without it, they might never graduate.”

In budget discussions, the board announced that $9.3 million of the $618.7 million in next year’s budget will be spent on the construction of a new elementary school on West Madison Avenue. 
The school will be completed and open in two years, the board said.

The board said teachers and administrators are set to receive wage increases of 4.5 percent and 6 percent, respectively.

Meeting: Lede With The News

Still a bit of shakiness with identifying what the news really is for the lede. The news isn't that things were discussed; it's what was done or not done. Too many ledes or section starts defaulted to things were discussed. That's not the news, right?

This was a lede that went in that direction:

The Grand Ledge School Board discussed several issues at its meeting last night.

The problem here is that the news isn't that the school board addressed items; it's what the items were that were addressed. From this lede, you don't know if they gave out ribbons to old ladies or declared war on Russia. It's too vague. Those ledes sound like this imaginary football game story lede:

The MSU football team played a game Saturday night.


And that's a lede we'd never write, right? This next lede was better in that regard:

The Grand Ledge School Board discussed its budget, evolution vs. creationism in textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.

You do identify what the issues were, but it still falls short of ultimate outcome and end result; that being what actions they took regarding these issues: for example, with the school board it's that they approved a new budget, considered teaching creationism, rejected canceling summer school.

That lede sounds like this modified game lede:

The MSU football team played Notre Dame Saturday night.

And that lede still doesn't go far enough toward ultimate outcome and end result.
This modified football lede does:

The MSU football team beat Notre Dame 63-0 Saturday night.

So, now let's apply that same fixation on end result on this school board lede:

The Grand Ledge School Board approved a new budget and voted to keep evolution-based textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.

Much better, right? You now know precisely how things ended.

But it wasn't necessary that you include every element in your lede. A big part of journalism is deciding what is most newsworthy, and ranking that news accordingly (or even excluding things if you feel the newsworthiness was limited or simply not there).

This lede zeroed in on a single topic:

The Grand Ledge School Board put evolution ahead of creationism in opting to keep current textbooks at this week's board meeting.

And that's fine. I'm not saying the book issue was necessarily the lede item; I think valid arguments could be made for any of the items being the most interesting, relevant and/or useful. Readers don't need us to summarize a whole meeting; they could probably Google an agenda themselves. What they need journalists for is to make sense of the news and tell them what matters most.

So don't be afraid to make decisions, based on the evidence and what may impact or interest readers the most.

One lede took ultimate outcome beyond the meeting. Remember that while summer school would be kept this year, the board wants to study the matter? Well, this was one of your ledes:

The Grand Ledge School Board County Commission promised to consider the future of summer school after extending such classes for one year at yesterday's board meeting.

This is what I call a forward-looking lede; one that goes beyond what happened at an event, and is centered in what that means going forward, or what action is next as a result. When we talk about ultimate outcome, the outcome isn't that the board talked about it; it's that the board will talk about it some more. That's the latest and newest news.

Meeting: Did You ...

... write about everything that happened at the meeting? Or just the things you thought were most newsworthy?

And how would you rank the newsworthiness of the items that took place at the meeting? These were the things, in order of occurrence, at the school board meeting:

1. Retiring teachers honored
2. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3. Board keeps summer school intact
4. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism
5. School volunteers honored


Does the order of importance match the order of occurrence? How would you rank these things, in terms of importance?

The importance ranking should match your order of presentation, regardless of the order in which things took place. 

And when we talk about importance, think about what things are the most interesting or relevant or useful to your audience. Think about what is most unusual that took place. Think about what would have the most impact. Think about what people would be most curious about, or wanting to know about.

If you're not sure if your ranking of items based on newsworthiness is the best, here's a good rule of thumb: the item you wrote about the most is probably the one worth the best placement. The one you wrote about the least should probably be presented last, or maybe even not at all. 

I'd argue these were proper orders of importance. From the school meeting:

1. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism

2 or 3. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3 or 2. Board keeps summer school intact
4 or 5. Retiring teachers honored
4 or 5. School volunteers honored


Our job as journalists isn't to necessarily record everything, and put things in the order in which it took place. That's stenography. Rather, we decide what was most important, and rank things in the order of importance.

What did you do, and why?

Meeting: Don't Forget The Obvious

In many stories, we wrote that teachers were getting a 4.5 percent raise.

Uh, raise of what? Pay? Class sizes? Hours of work? 

It was pay. We know that. But how are readers supposed to know that?

The audience doesn't come to a news source to guess; they come for clarity. Be precise. Say it was a 4.5 percent pay raise.

Meeting: You Don't Need "That!"

That is one of the most unneeded words ever. How so? Let's look at this sentence:

The board said that in its decision that parents should talk to their children about the issue and provide their home with the religious training that they feel to be most appropriate.

Now, let's get rid of the three references to that. This is what's left:

The board said in its decision parents should talk to their children about the issue and provide their home with the religious training they feel to be most appropriate.

Now, what's different? Besides the loss of an unnecessary word?

Most of the time, you don't need that.

Meeting: Transitional Phrases

In stories where you have multiple sub-issues, like a meeting story, it's helpful to have a new subsection started with a transitional phrase, like

In other business, the board ...

Also, the board ...

In other news ...

Also at the meeting ...

Also approved (or rejected) was ...

Such transitional phrases help clearly delineate when reporting on one matter ends and another begins.

Meeting: Writing With (AP) Style

Lotsa basic AP Style goofs that we've blogged about before, and that we should have down pat by now, including:

When part of a numbered street address, abbreviate East, West, North and South; and street and avenue, like this: I live at 123 N. Sesame St. Please see addresses for details.

When not part of a numbered street address, do not abbreviate East, West, North and South, or street and avenue, like this: I live on North Sesame Street. Please see addresses for details.

We always spell out the word percent and never use the percent symbol of %. So, you say something is 12 percent, and not 12%. Please see percent for details.

Military titles are abbreviated when used as part of a name and formal title, so it's Lt. Luis Rafelson, and not Lieutenant Luis Rafelson. Please see military titles for details.

Last names only are used on second and subsequent references. So on first reference it would be a first and last name: Luis Rafelson. On second reference, it's just Rafelson. Please see names for details.


Titles are not used on second and subsequent references. So, where you may say Lt. Luis Rafelson on first reference, from then on it's just Rafelson, without title. Please see titles for details.

For money, we use the dollar symbol ($) instead of spelling out dollars. So, it's $618 million, not 618 million dollars. Please see dollars for details.

In general, spell out numbers from zero to nine, and use digits for 10 and above. So, nine is nine, not 9. And 11 is 11, not eleven. There are numerous exceptions to the rule; please see numerals for details. 

Again, these are some basic rules. Let's make sure we're remembering 'em, and using 'em.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

JRN 200: Your Friday 6/26 Homework

For this weekend, again you will have TWO practice story assignments to do. The first one is slugged MEETING. For this one, use information provided in Reporting For The Media 10th Edition, Ch. 15, Ex. 8, p. 407. 

For this exercise, the city council is the Grand Ledge School Board. All relevant locations for this assignment are in the city of Grand Ledge.

Your deadline for MEETING will be no later than 9 a.m. Monday, to omars@msu.edu.

The second one is slugged POLICE. For this one, use information provided in Reporting For The Media 10th Edition, Ch. 18, Ex. 3, p. 481. YOU ARE TO WRITE JUST ONE STORY REGARDING THE REPORT ON P. 481 ONLY. PLEASE IGNORE OTHER DIRECTIONS.

For this exercise, the incident is taking place in Okemos. The store is also located in Okemos. The responding authorities are from the Ingham County Sheriff's Department.

Your deadline for POLICE will be no later than 9 a.m. Tuesday, to omars@msu.edu.

Now, the POLICE exercise is a bit different from previous practice stories, in that instead of being given a set of information, you are being given a mock police report form which to discern information, make sense of what happened and write your story.

For you to be able to figure things out, you need to know what military time is. The police report, like most police and fire reports, are written in military time, which differs somewhat from regular time.

In regular time, the daily clock is divided into two 12-hour clocks. For example, we have 12 hours of the morning (known as a.m.), and 12 hours of the afternoon (known as p.m.). The number indicates how many hours we are into the morning or afternoon. Like, 8 a.m. is eight hours into the morning. 2:30 p.m. is two hours, 30 minutes into the afternoon. Duh, right?

Now, let's compare that to military time. In military time, the daily clock is a single 24-hour clock, where the number indicates how many hours we are past midnight, and into the day.

For example, 0500 hours is equal to 5 a.m., since it's five hours into the day. 1430 hours is equal to 2:30 p.m., since 2:30 p.m. is 14 hours, 30 minutes after midnight.

The reports will list information in military time, but for the stories we must translate that info into regular time, since the latter is the time people in regular society use.

Also, please keep working on your first out-of-class story, which is due by 9 a.m. Thursday, July 2 to omars@msu.edu.

RFTM Ch. 18: Public Affairs Reporting

Reporting on government and actions taken by government entities that affect citizens is known as public affairs reporting (PAR). That includes reporting on government (officials and elections) and agencies and policies (police, crime, accidents, fires, taxes and laws) and decisions made at all levels of government and public service.

(There is a general misconception that PAR reporting only involves politics and govering public bodies like city councils and Congress. In fact, it extends to anything where the ultimate outcome is determined by a public body. For example, a tuition increase at MSU is PAR story, since MSU is a owned by the state and a tuition increase therefore is a government decision. Gay rights is PAR, because ultimately it's state and federal laws that determine what rights gay citizens have.)

Habits of PAR include diligence (making a regular pattern of checking with sources; inspecting documents; covering meetings and public bodies); knowledge of sources (people who work in government, people affected by government decisions, documents recording decisions and plans and events); accuracy (duh); and the ability to write clear explanations (so citizens understand potential impacts and effects of decision-making).

There are various types of PAR, including:

Crime and accident reporting. This is a common training ground for young reporters. It forces young reporters to learn the community; trains reporters in news values and the need for accuracy; and gives reporters the chance to develop first-hand sources on the street.

It also has its challenges. Crime and accident reporting exposes reporters to the harshest aspects of urban life (death, harm, loss), and deadline pressures can be severe (crime news doesn't happen on a fixed schedule; you have to be ready to go and report at any time). But if you can get through this, you can succeed in any type of reporting.

Sources can vary. You may get information from official contacts like police spokespeople, press releases, press conferences, media briefings, talking directly to investigating officers, and talking to police supervisors and officials.

You may also get information from secondary sources that have an interest in the issue, like police union officials, community activists, citizens impacted by or concerned about crime, and attorneys.

There are also documentary sources like police blotters and crime logs (which usually list calls for assistance and people arrested) and incident/arrest/accident/fire reports (offering detailed descriptions of crimes or accidents).

The availability of the latter reports may be limited by state information laws; you may have to file a Freedom Of Information Act (or FOIA) request to obtain one. Still, details may be blacked out. There is a legal right to withhold details if the release would arm an ongoing investigation, but usually all records must be released after an investigatin is closed or an arrest is made.

Other information sources include arrest warrants, search warrants and affadavits (which is a sworn statement of fact), usually found in court files; jail booking records (that list who is in jail, and for what, with bail amounts); autopsy, medical examiner or coroner reports (listing the manner of death); criminal history information (like prior arrest histories, usually available from court clerk's offices) and police misconduct reports.

Crime stories carry a high risk of libel and sensationalism and other problems, especially since crime stories are likely to harm someone's reputation (with harm to reputation being a key component of a libel claim. We'll get into journalism law details later this semester).

To limit risk, first we need to take care to confirm facts and to make our writing clear. An absolute libel defense is the truth; if it's true (and accurate), then there cannot be libel.

Plus, we cannot overuse the word allegedly in describing actions and who committed those actions. Someone is alleged to have committed a crime at the time they are arrested. Use allegedly frequently and often in describing the circumstances.

Look for key elements, like deaths or injuries or impact to people. Such elements usually are the most important ones; what this means to people.

Other elements include the nature and value of property stolen or damaged; as complete an ID of the suspect as possible, the IDs and statements of victims and witnesses; a narrative of the crime or event (what happened, and how and why); exact charges (if any); the next step or steps (if any); and anything unusual.

Another major type of PAR is local government reporting. This consists of covering city, county and township governments that usually provide basic public services like police, fire, street maintenance, water and sewage service, and public transit.

Local governments elect local officials -- like mayors and council members -- and those officials hire day-to-day managers like city or county managers, police and fire chiefs, and engineers.

Those local governments collect taxes, mostly on property like homes and businesses; and then use those revenues to set budgets on what they plan to spend on the following year.

(Such budgets help reveal priorities or lack thereof; such as, a big increase in the police budget means they're taking public safety seriously; a big cut in the police budget indicates they are not. And those priorities may be worth focusing upon in story form.)

Sources include people sources (like elected officials, appointed officials and bureaucrats, residents involved with or affected by or interested in local government actions); and documentary sources (like tax records and property value records -- also known as assessments -- and property ownership records -- also known as deeds -- and expense records, bid records, contracts and licenses, inspection reports, zoning records, campaign contributions, and such. Many of these records are public and available from the clerk's office upon demand.

A third common type of PAR is school district reporting. School districts are headed by school boards (which usually consist of elected officials); superintendents (which are chief administrators hied by the board, who oversees day-to-day district operations); and principals (hired by the superintendent, running individual schools). Teachers run individual classrooms, and parents are another relevant interview source, of course.

Public records include rules and policies; budgets and financial data; salaries; accreditation reports; and assessment records. But many other records -- like information about specific students -- are off-limits due to privacy laws.

A fourth type of PAR is court reporting. In general, there are three levels of courts: trial courts, which hear criminal cases and civil lawsuits; appeals courts, which consider whether trial court decisions were correct; and supreme courts, which are the final arbiters. Their rulings become final precedents for all courts to follow in similar future cases.

Criminal cases in trial courts are almost always held in public. There is a pretrial process where a complaint is first filed (alleging a criminal act); then bail (also called bond) is set (which the accused has to be as sort of a deposit to get out of jail while awaiting trial).

From there, the case can go one of two ways: either the basic allegations are publicly presented in a preliminary hearing, where a judge decides if there's enough evidence to go to trial; or the case goes to a grand jury, which meets in private, considers evidence in secret, decides if there's enough evidence to go to trial, and then issues a true bill of charges.

If the judge or grand jury decides there isn't enough evidence, then the case is dismissed here, If they decide there is enough evidence, after the preliminary hearing/grand jury phase comes an arraignment, where the defendant pleads guilty or innocent. If the plea is innocent, then a trial date is set, and the attorneys hold a pretrial hearing to set the rules of the upcoming trial.

Sometimes, a criminal case ends before trial, when both sides agree to a plea bargain, in which the defendant admits to certain charges in return for a certain sentence.

Then, the case goes to trial. The defendant has the choice of having a jury trial (where a jury selected from the general public rules on innocence or guilt) or a bench trial (where a judge alone rules on the case). The trial begins with opening statements from the prosecutor (advocating the charges on behalf of the government) and defense attorney (defending the defendant); laying out their arguments.

During the trial, the court will hear from a number of witnesses. Usually, witness testimony is the best and most compelling item to report. Concentrate on the most relevant, insightful, memorable testimony; not necessarily the sequence of testimony, just like you would covering a meeting or speech.

Also, during the trial evidence will be presented, after which the prosecutor and defense attorney make closing arguments, summing up their cases. Then, if it's a jury trial the jury will meet in private, make a decision, and announce their verdict in public. In a bench trial, the judge will privately consider the case, before publicly rendering a decision.

The post-trial phase is a busy one for journalists. You should seek interviews with the defendant (if possible), prosecutors and defense attorneys; victims and/or their family and friends; and even jurors (if there is something extraordinary about the deliberations or the case itself).

If the defendant is found guilty, then the judge will schedule a sentencing hearing, where the defendant will learn of his sentence (jail time/probation/fines/ect.). After that, the defendant has the option to file an appeal with the appeals court.

Civil cases are ones where a court considers a lawsuit. In lawsuits, instead of the government charging a criminal violation of law, an individual or entity alleges a violation of civil law against another individual or entity by filing a lawsuit.

In a typical lawsuit, instead of jail time the plaintiffs (the ones filing the lawsuit) makes allegations and seeks damages (usually for a cash amount) from the defendants (the ones who are the target of the lawsuit).

(Another common type of civil matter could be some sort of court order, like a restraining order where the plaintiff will seek legal protection from the defendant.)

As journalists, it's critical that we treat initial lawsuit filings carefully and with skepticism. Anyone can allege anything in a lawsuit, without evidence. It's only once the case gets moving that the evidence -- or lack thereof -- is revealed. Be sure you try to double-check the claims yourself; always seek comment from the defendants ASAP; and use the word allegedly frequently.

The trial process is similar to that of a criminal trial. Often, lawsuits are settled before trial via an out-of-court settlement (where both sides agree to a disposition, often including some sort of cash settlement).

And those are the major types of PAR. For a good PAR checklist, see RFTM, p. 473-4.