Rescue: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

Quite a few of us never said what time the collapse took place. Even more of us never said when the boy was pulled out of the tunnel, and at what time the boy died.

Time often matters as one of the five W's. But in this case, it's especially important to the telling of the story.

Time tells you how difficult it would have been for the boy to be okay after being buried for so long. Time tells you how difficult it was to dig out the boy, in that it took so long.

In this case, specific times are important bits of data that help show the reader what happened, and not just leave them being told by you.

You say it was a difficult rescue. The times help readers see that.

In every story you write, try to determine which data sets help explain the story and show readers what they need to see in terms of evidence supporting your overall angle.

Police: Who, What, When, WHERE, Why

In many of our stories we noted the store in question was in Okemos. That's good. It's key among the 5 W's: where.

But, a reader may ask, which store in Okemos? Is there just one? Is it the Jiffy Foods down the street?

So, as a secondary elaboration of location, it would have been nice to specify that by offering an address: 4010 Holbrook Drive.

It didn't need to be in the lede, or even the nut graf. But offering a specific like that is what the body of the story is for. The lede and nut graf sums things up, and the body offers a greater level of detail.

Meeting: Don't Forget The Obvious

In many stories, we wrote that teachers were getting a 4.5 percent raise.

Uh, raise of what? Pay? Class sizes? Hours of work? 

It was pay. We know that. But how are readers supposed to know that?

The audience doesn't come to a news source to guess; they come for clarity. Be precise. Say it was a 4.5 percent pay raise.

Robbery: WHO, What, When, Where, Why

A few of us never named the robber. Why on earth wouldn't we?

I mean, the name is central to the story: WHO robbed the store. WHO was shot dead. Right?

Don't forget to include all the five W's (who, what, when, where, why) and the one H that accompanies it (how).

Others failed to name the robber until very late in the story, after generically referring to a gunman repeatedly in the story. Ideally, you'd want to ID the robber no later than the nut graf -- since WHO did the robbing and WHO was killed was a very major W among the 5 W's -- and go from there.

Just like you didn't wait to identify Layoux by name, don't wait to ID people who are considered central to the story. A person killed whose actions triggered everything else that happened -- Layoux having to use his gun, Layoux losing his job as a result -- isn't a bit player whose name can wait until later, like the district attorney or a cop who showed up after everything was over.

Robbery: Who, What, WHERE, When, Why

Did you need to cite the store's specific street address? Isn't that a basic and helpful identifier of WHERE this happened?

Wouldn't people wonder WHERE? Whether this was near their home? Or was the store they go to?

The lede probably won't have been a good place for that -- a first attribution simply as a Haslett convenience store, or a local O-Mart store would have been fine -- but an address with a subsequent attribution would have been helpful.

I'm just sayin'.

Robbery: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

One of us did a bang-up job on your story. Nice lede, good nut graf, good story flow.

One problem, though: nowhere in the story did you way WHEN anything happened. No dates, no times.

You could have an otherwise-great story, but if it entirely misses a key element -- like any of the five W's -- then it's not a great story, or even a good one. 

Others had a day, but not time. Still others had a time, but no day.

Don't overlook the obvious, folks!

Final Ledes: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

This is a pretty good lede:


State Rep. Constance Wei may find validating her opposition to a ban on cell phone usage while driving more difficult after slamming into another car as she talked on the phone. 

... but there's a pretty big miss. When did it happen? Today? Yesterday? Six months ago?

Often, with news we are trying to highlight that it is new. Prominently saying when helps us do that.

More Ledes: The 5 W's

You may have heard of the 5 W's -- who, what, when, where, why and a non-w: how -- that are central to good journalism. It's important that we identify the most critical of those W's, and include them in our ledes.

Let's look at one lede:


Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed while on his way to his wedding. Forsythe lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of the street. 


Now, let's identify the W's

Who = Scott Forsythe, 22
What = he died while on his way to the wedding
Why = lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog
Where = the middle of the street, but we don't say which one
When = ????
How = see what, why

So, we're missing two of the W's (one is totally off the radar, and the other is unclear). When was critical, at least in its most basic form, such as saying, today. (You could include a specific time later in the story). News is something new, so the date would indicate the newness.

Where is also pretty important. Something that happens near where I live and work is probably a bigger deal than something faraway. So an approximate placement (e.g., along Kirkmann Road) would help, as opposed to just saying the middle of the street, which can be anywhere.

Let's add those in the lede (and merge the sentences into one):

Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed while on his way to his wedding today after he lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of Kirkmann Road.

Now, our bases are covered. And still under 32 words, and one sentence!

Rescue: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

Quite a few of us never said what time the collapse took place. Even more of us never said when the boy was pulled out of the tunnel, and at what time the boy died.

Time often matters as one of the five W's. But in this case, it's especially important to the telling of the story.

Time tells you how difficult it would have been for the boy to be okay after being buried for so long. Time tells you how difficult it was to dig out the boy, in that it took so long.

In this case, specific times are important bits of data that help show the reader what happened, and not just leave them being told by you.

You say it was a difficult rescue. The times help readers see that.

In every story you write, try to determine which data sets help explain the story and show readers what they need to see in terms of evidence supporting your overall angle.

Police: Who, What, When, WHERE, Why

In many of our stories we noted the store in question was in Okemos. That's good. It's key among the 5 W's: where.

But, a reader may ask, which store in Okemos? Is there just one? Is it the Jiffy Foods down the street?

So, as a secondary elaboration of location, it would have been nice to specify that by offering an address: 4010 Holbrook Drive.

It didn't need to be in the lede, or even the nut graf. But offering a specific like that is what the body of the story is for. The lede and nut graf sums things up, and the body offers a greater level of detail.

Robbery: WHO, What, When, Where, Why

A few of us never named the robber. Why in earth wouldn't we?

I mean, the name is central to the story: WHO robbed the store. WHO was shot dead. Right?

Don't forget to include all the five W's (who, what, when, where, why) and the one H that accompanies it (how).

Others failed to name the robber until very late in the story, after generically referring to a gunman repeatedly in the story. Ideally, you'd want to ID the robber no later than the nut graf -- since WHO did the robbing and WHO was killed was a very major W among the 5 W's -- and go from there.

Just like you didn't wait to identify Layoux by name, don't wait to ID people who are considered central to the story. A person killed whose actions triggered everything else that happened -- Layoux having to use his gun, Layoux losing his job as a result -- isn't a bit player whose name can wait until later, like the district attorney or a cop who showed up after everything was over.

Robbery: Who, What, WHERE, When, Why

Did you need to cite the store's specific street address? Isn't that a basic and helpful identifier of WHERE this happened?

Wouldn't people wonder WHERE? Whether this was near their home? Or was the store they go to?

The lede probably won't have been a good place for that -- a first attribution simply as a Haslett convenience store, or a local O-Mart store would have been fine -- but an address with a subsequent attribution would have been helpful.

I'm just sayin'.

Robbery: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

One of us did a bang-up job on your story. Nice lede, good nut graf, good story flow.

One problem, though: nowhere in the story did you way WHEN anything happened. No dates, no times.

You could have an otherwise-great story, but if it entirely misses a key element -- like any of the five W's -- then it's not a great story, or even a good one. 

Others had a day, but not time. Still others had a time, but no day.

Don't overlook the obvious, folks!

Final Ledes: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

This is a pretty good lede:


State Rep. Constance Wei may find validating her opposition to a ban on cell phone usage while driving more difficult after slamming into another car as she talked on the phone. 

... but there's a pretty big miss. When did it happen? Today? Yesterday? Six months ago?

Often, with news we are trying to highlight that it is new. Prominently saying when helps us do that.

More Ledes: The 5 W's

You may have heard of the 5 W's -- who, what, when, where, why and a non-w: how -- that are central to good journalism. It's important that we identify the most critical of those W's, and include them in our ledes.

Let's look at one lede:


Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed while on his way to his wedding. Forsythe lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of the street. 


Now, let's identify the W's

Who = Scott Forsythe, 22
What = he died while on his way to the wedding
Why = lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog
Where = the middle of the street, but we don't say which one
When = ????
How = see what, why

So, we're missing two of the W's (one is totally off the radar, and the other is unclear). When was critical, at least in its most basic form, such as saying, today. (You could include a specific time later in the story). News is something new, so the date would indicate the newness.

Where is also pretty important. Something that happens near where I live and work is probably a bigger deal than something faraway. So an approximate placement (e.g., along Kirkmann Road) would help, as opposed to just saying the middle of the street, which can be anywhere.

Let's add those in the lede (and merge the sentences into one):

Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed while on his way to his wedding today after he lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of Kirkmann Road.

Now, our bases are covered. And still under 32 words, and one sentence!

Rescue: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

Quite a few of us never said what time the collapse took place. Even more of us never said when the boy was pulled out of the tunnel, and at what time the boy died.

Time often matters as one of the five W's. But in this case, it's especially important to the telling of the story.

Time tells you how difficult it would have been for the boy to be okay after being buried for so long. Time tells you how difficult it was to dig out the boy, in that it took so long.

In this case, specific times are important bits of data that help show the reader what happened, and not just leave them being told by you.

You say it was a difficult rescue. The times help readers see that.

In every story you write, try to determine which data sets help explain the story and show readers what they need to see in terms of evidence supporting your overall angle.

Police: Who, What, When, WHERE, Why

In many of our stories we noted the store in question was in Okemos. That's good. It's key among the 5 W's: where.

But, a reader may ask, which store in Okemos? Is there just one? Is it the Jiffy Foods down the street?

So, as a secondary elaboration of location, it would have been nice to specify that by offering an address: 4010 Holbrook Drive.

It didn't need to be in the lede, or even the nut graf. But offering a specific like that is what the body of the story is for. The lede and nut graf sums things up, and the body offers a greater level of detail.

Robbery: WHO, What, When, Where, Why

A few of us never named the robber. Why in earth wouldn't we?

I mean, the name is central to the story: WHO robbed the store. WHO was shot dead. Right?

Don't forget to include all the five W's (who, what, when, where, why) and the one H that accompanies it (how).

Others failed to name the robber until very late in the story, after generically referring to a gunman repeatedly in the story. Ideally, you'd want to ID the robber no later than the nut graf -- since WHO did the robbing and WHO was killed was a very major W among the 5 W's -- and go from there.

Just like you didn't wait to identify Layoux by name, don't wait to ID people who are considered central to the story. A person killed whose actions triggered everything else that happened -- Layoux having to use his gun, Layoux losing his job as a result -- isn't a bit player whose name can wait until later, like the district attorney or a cop who showed up after everything was over.

Robbery: Who, What, WHERE, When, Why

Did you need to cite the store's specific street address? Isn't that a basic and helpful identifier of WHERE this happened?

Wouldn't people wonder WHERE? Whether this was near their home? Or was the store they go to?

The lede probably won't have been a good place for that -- a first attribution simply as a Haslett convenience store, or a local O-Mart store would have been fine -- but an address with a subsequent attribution would have been helpful.

I'm just sayin'.

Robbery: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

One of us did a bang-up job on your story. Nice lede, good nut graf, good story flow.

One problem, though: nowhere in the story did you way WHEN anything happened. No dates, no times.

You could have an otherwise-great story, but if it entirely misses a key element -- like any of the five W's -- then it's not a great story, or even a good one. 

Others had a day, but not time. Still others had a time, but no day.

Don't overlook the obvious, folks!