Police: Nut Grafs Are Driving You Nuts

One of youze did a nice alternate lede, but the nut graf fell a bit short. Here was the sequence:

One left in a jiffy. And the other? Not so much.

Jiffy Foods, located in Okemos, was the target of an attempted robbery by two men early this morning.

Then, you start with the chronological narrative of how things unfolded.

First off, the lede was cute and a great teasing set-up for the nut graf.

Now, the nut graf does half of what a good nut graf does, in expanding upon the lede. It says where they left, and what they were doing there.

But the nut graf falls short in another area, and that's answering critical questions created by the lede. Like, why did the one guy stay? And why did the other guy leave in a jiffy? Those question was central to your lede, and you leave the reader still guessing after the nut graf.

I mean, after reading the lede and nut graf, the reader is left guessing what we meant with the whole jiffy/not so much thing. And we can't leave them hanging like that. 

A better nut graf would say something like this:

Two men walked into Jiffy Foods in Okemos as part of an alleged armed robbery attempt, but only one of the suspects was able to flee after the other was beaten by a clerk wielding a cane.

Now, we can go on to the narrative, because the reader knows what the lede meant.

Be sure that you carefully look at your lede, and think about what people need to immediately know for that lede to make sense if they don't read anything other than the lede and nut graf. What they need to know goes in your nut graf.

Missing: Different Kinds Of Lede/Nut Graf Combos

Most of you were direct and to the point in your ledes and then built upon that fact with a nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like this:

Last year in Michigan alone, a total of 57,152 people were reported missing at one time or another, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Among the people missing are crime victims, runaway adolescents, people with Alzheimer's disease, distant parents, people who have tried to run away from their debt and people who have run away with lovers.

And that was fine. The lede established the basic premise of the story in a simple and direct manner. And then the nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like, "why do they disappear?"


Some of you tried to take things a step further by looking at the basic fact AND a telling subfact, like, "who is it that disappears?":


Troubled youths and runaways make up for three-fourths of the 57,152 missing people reported in Michigan last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Out of Michigan's missing, 48,384 people were found with another 9,000 still missing. Police estimate that people missing involuntarily total no more than 100 in number.

Here, the nut graf expands on details by looking at how many of the 57,000 plus are still gone, and how many of those are gone against their will. It drills down into that 57,000-plus number a bit.

A few of you tried an anecdotal lede. This one had a lede that covered two grafs offering a personal anecdote symbolic of the larger problem, and then the third (nut) graf hits on that broader problem in a tone that sounds like a traditional straight lede:

Sabrina, a 14-year-old East Lansing resident and former runaway juvenile, is just one of the thousands of Michigan residents who have been rediscovered after earlier being reported as missing.

When Sabrina's parents divorced, she skipped town and moved to New York to get away from an abusive stepfather. Sabrina was discovered two years after she was reported missing after New York City police picked her up for shoplifting and prostitution, said Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used.

According to the U.S. Justice Department, of the 57,152 men, women and children reported missing in Michigan last year, nearly 9,000 remain missing. Three-fourths of Michigan's total missing persons last year were runaway juveniles.

Here's another ambitious anecdotal lede:

Fourteen-year-old Sabrina just needed to escape.

Escape from her parents' divorce.

Escape from her stepfather, who would get drunk and hit her mom.

Just escape.

Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used, is among the 42,864 juveniles in Michigan who went missing last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Now, there's one way I think I could enhance these ledes, and that's with a telling quote from Sabrina that would help humanize the voice and perspective. In the case of an anecdotal lede, the best place for a telling quote is between the lede and nut graf, and not after the nut graf like in a more traditional approach.

Which lede/nut graf combos do you like, or hate? And why?

Robbery: The Mystery Of The Missing Nut Graf

Nut grafs are important. Nut grafs do two important things: they fill in some of the blanks and details from your lede by answering some questions among the 5 W's created by the lede, and they offer a smooth transition to the body of a story.

In this exercise, a few of you had inadequate nut grafs -- or none at all.

What many of you did was write a lede, and then directly go into the chronology of what happened, like here:

A robbery turned into a self-defense shooting late yesterday at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd. in Haslett. 

When 22-year-old, Michael Layoux was working last night, a customer came in to purchase a pack of cigarettes just after 11 p.m. 

Whoa, wait a minute. In the lede, you say there was a robbery that turned into self-defense. Who was robbed? Who defended himself? Who was the robber? The lede created those questins, and a nut graf could have answered 'em. Instead, you dive right into the play-by-play. Essentially, you're holding the reader hostage by not making it clear what conclusion they're reading toward. They need to read the entire story to find out what happened.

The body of a story offers details and evidence that supports your lede. Your nut graf offers just enough of the 5 w's -- who, what, when, where, why, plus how -- so that if a reader goes no further than the nut graf and never reads the chronology, they still know what happened and how it ended.

A nut graf would have been a perfect place to say something like this:

Using a contraband pistol, store clerk Michael Layoux shot and killed Robert Wiess as the latter man fled the store after robbing the register of an estimated $20 in cash around 11 p.m. Wiess' body was found nearby. 

Here was a better use of a lede-nut graf sequence by one of youze:

A 22-year-old store clerk killed a man in self-defense after the man robbed his store at gunpoint late yesterday in Haslett.

Michael Layoux, a clerk at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd., shot Robert Wiess after he said he was threatened with a pistol, and Wiess demanded the money in the cash register.

The lede suggests a pair of whos (clerk, a man who was killed), a what (killed a man), a when (yesterday), a where (in Haslett) and a why (self-defense).

Then, the nut grafs details the whos (naming the clerk and gunman), the what (the killing was done by shooting), the where (at the O-Mart, address noted) and the why (threatened with a pistol, demanded cash).

Only then does the story continues with the chronology of how things unfolded, in time order. You get a bit more information in the nut graf to help establish the lede -- and to let people know how things ended up -- before getting a blow-by-blow of how things went down.

After placing that next to the lede, then you can dive into the chronology. Basically, your lede/nut graf combo should read like a mini-story. (And if you ever write for broadcast, that's what they typical 30-second TV news story is: a lede and a nut graf, and maybe one sentence of additional information.)

More Ledes: Nut Grafs With Alternate Ledes

In this exercise, you were asked to do just a lede, with no subsequent paragraph. But some of you did ledes that in essence acted as a combination alternate lede/subsequent nut graf, combined into a single graf. (FYI, a nut graf is a paragraph that follows the lede, in which we add secondary details of importance and answer questions created by the lede. We'll get into nut grafs in greater detail in the very near future.)

What I did was split some of these ledes as follows, so you can see a concept we talked about earlier: that when you do a unique and contextual alternate lede, it is usually followed by a nut graf that sounds more like a traditional lede, fills in the specific blanks left by your general contextual lede, and offers a strong transition to the body of the story.

Let's look at a few examples:

Freedom might not be free, but neither is detainment.

Police chief Barry Kopperrud is proposing cost cuts for the city, starting with a $25 service fee for incoming criminals.

The lede nicely sets context, then the nut graf explains the details behind the context.

Next:

It looks like someone's been thinking on the wild side!

A group of scientists are interested in a project that would transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America. 

The lede has fun with an odd concept, that of bringing Africa to America. So you reveled in the fun in the lede, then explained what was so unique in the nut graf.


Then, there's this:

Typically, 'til death do us part doesn't apply until after the wedding.

Scott Forsythe, 22, died in a high-speed accident around 8:45 this morning on Kirkmann Road after veering to avoid a dog. Forsythe was less than a mile away from the church where he was to be married today.

Certainly, the lede is creative, contextual and accurate. But let me ask you guys this: is it a bit too flippant and casual in noting the irony? Let's discuss.

Now, this is how you use a nut graf with an alternate lede. But it's a bit different with standard ledes. We'll get into that difference soon.

Police: Nut Grafs Are Driving You Nuts

One of youze did a nice alternate lede, but the nut graf fell a bit short. Here was the sequence:

One left in a jiffy. And the other? Not so much.

Jiffy Foods, located in Okemos, was the target of an attempted robbery by two men early this morning.

Then, you start with the chronological narrative of how things unfolded.

First off, the lede was cute and a great teasing set-up for the nut graf.

Now, the nut graf does half of what a good nut graf does, in expanding upon the lede. It says where they left, and what they were doing there.

But the nut graf falls short in another area, and that's answering critical questions created by the lede. Like, why did the one guy stay? And why did the other guy leave in a jiffy? Those question was central to your lede, and you leave the reader still guessing after the nut graf.

I mean, after reading the lede and nut graf, the reader is left guessing what we meant with the whole jiffy/not so much thing. And we can't leave them hanging like that. 

A better nut graf would say something like this:

Two men walked into Jiffy Foods in Okemos as part of an alleged armed robbery attempt, but only one of the suspects was able to flee after the other was beaten by a clerk wielding a cane.

Now, we can go on to the narrative, because the reader knows what the lede meant.

Be sure that you carefully look at your lede, and think about what people need to immediately know for that lede to make sense if they don't read anything other than the lede and nut graf. What they need to know goes in your nut graf.

Robbery: The Mystery Of The Missing Nut Graf

Nut grafs are important. Nut grafs do two important things: they fill in some of the blanks and details from your lede by answering some questions among the 5 W's created by the lede, and they offer a smooth transition to the body of a story.

In this exercise, a few of you had inadequate nut grafs -- or none at all.

What many of you did was write a lede, and then directly go into the chronology of what happened, like here:

A robbery turned into a self-defense shooting late yesterday at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd. in Haslett. 

When 22-year-old, Michael Layoux was working last night, a customer came in to purchase a pack of cigarettes just after 11 p.m. 

Whoa, wait a minute. In the lede, you say there was a robbery that turned into self-defense. Who was robbed? Who defended himself? Who was the robber? The lede created those questins, and a nut graf could have answered 'em. Instead, you dive right into the play-by-play. Essentially, you're holding the reader hostage by not making it clear what conclusion they're reading toward. They need to read the entire story to find out what happened.

The body of a story offers details and evidence that supports your lede. Your nut graf offers just enough of the 5 w's -- who, what, when, where, why, plus how -- so that if a reader goes no further than the nut graf and never reads the chronology, they still know what happened and how it ended.

A nut graf would have been a perfect place to say something like this:

Using a contraband pistol, store clerk Michael Layoux shot and killed Robert Wiess as the latter man fled the store after robbing the register of an estimated $20 in cash around 11 p.m. Wiess' body was found nearby. 

Here was a better use of a lede-nut graf sequence by one of youze:

A 22-year-old store clerk killed a man in self-defense after the man robbed his store at gunpoint late yesterday in Haslett.

Michael Layoux, a clerk at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd., shot Robert Wiess after he said he was threatened with a pistol, and Wiess demanded the money in the cash register.

The lede suggests a pair of whos (clerk, a man who was killed), a what (killed a man), a when (yesterday), a where (in Haslett) and a why (self-defense).

Then, the nut grafs details the whos (naming the clerk and gunman), the what (the killing was done by shooting), the where (at the O-Mart, address noted) and the why (threatened with a pistol, demanded cash).

Only then does the story continues with the chronology of how things unfolded, in time order. You get a bit more information in the nut graf to help establish the lede -- and to let people know how things ended up -- before getting a blow-by-blow of how things went down.

After placing that next to the lede, then you can dive into the chronology. Basically, your lede/nut graf combo should read like a mini-story. (And if you ever write for broadcast, that's what they typical 30-second TV news story is: a lede and a nut graf, and maybe one sentence of additional information.)

Police: Nut Grafs Are Driving You Nuts

One of youze did a nice alternate lede, but the nut graf fell a bit short. Here was the sequence:

One left in a jiffy. And the other? Not so much.

Jiffy Foods, located in Okemos, was the target of an attempted robbery by two men early this morning.

Then, you start with the chronological narrative of how things unfolded.

First off, the lede was cute and a great teasing set-up for the nut graf.

Now, the nut graf does half of what a good nut graf does, in expanding upon the lede. It says where they left, and what they were doing there.

But the nut graf falls short in another area, and that's answering critical questions created by the lede. Like, why did the one guy stay? And why did the other guy leave in a jiffy? Those question was central to your lede, and you leave the reader still guessing after the nut graf.

I mean, after reading the lede and nut graf, the reader is left guessing what we meant with the whole jiffy/not so much thing. And we can't leave them hanging like that. 

A better nut graf would say something like this:

Two men walked into Jiffy Foods in Okemos as part of an alleged armed robbery attempt, but only one of the suspects was able to flee after the other was beaten by a clerk wielding a cane.

Now, we can go on to the narrative, because the reader knows what the lede meant.

Be sure that you carefully look at your lede, and think about what people need to immediately know for that lede to make sense if they don't read anything other than the lede and nut graf. What they need to know goes in your nut graf.

Robbery: The Mystery Of The Missing Nut Graf

Nut grafs are important. Nut grafs do two important things: they fill in some of the blanks and details from your lede by answering some questions among the 5 W's created by the lede, and they offer a smooth transition to the body of a story.

In this exercise, a few of you had inadequate nut grafs -- or none at all.

What many of you did was write a lede, and then directly go into the chronology of what happened, like here:

A robbery turned into a self-defense shooting late yesterday at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd. in Haslett. 

When 22-year-old, Michael Layoux was working last night, a customer came in to purchase a pack of cigarettes just after 11 p.m. 

Whoa, wait a minute. In the lede, you say there was a robbery that turned into self-defense. Who was robbed? Who defended himself? Who was the robber? The lede created those questins, and a nut graf could have answered 'em. Instead, you dive right into the play-by-play. Essentially, you're holding the reader hostage by not making it clear what conclusion they're reading toward. They need to read the entire story to find out what happened.

The body of a story offers details and evidence that supports your lede. Your nut graf offers just enough of the 5 w's -- who, what, when, where, why, plus how -- so that if a reader goes no further than the nut graf and never reads the chronology, they still know what happened and how it ended.

A nut graf would have been a perfect place to say something like this:

Using a contraband pistol, store clerk Michael Layoux shot and killed Robert Wiess as the latter man fled the store after robbing the register of an estimated $20 in cash around 11 p.m. Wiess' body was found nearby. 

Here was a better use of a lede-nut graf sequence by one of youze:

A 22-year-old store clerk killed a man in self-defense after the man robbed his store at gunpoint late yesterday in Haslett.

Michael Layoux, a clerk at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd., shot Robert Wiess after he said he was threatened with a pistol, and Wiess demanded the money in the cash register.

The lede suggests a pair of whos (clerk, a man who was killed), a what (killed a man), a when (yesterday), a where (in Haslett) and a why (self-defense).

Then, the nut grafs details the whos (naming the clerk and gunman), the what (the killing was done by shooting), the where (at the O-Mart, address noted) and the why (threatened with a pistol, demanded cash).

Only then does the story continues with the chronology of how things unfolded, in time order. You get a bit more information in the nut graf to help establish the lede -- and to let people know how things ended up -- before getting a blow-by-blow of how things went down.

After placing that next to the lede, then you can dive into the chronology. Basically, your lede/nut graf combo should read like a mini-story. (And if you ever write for broadcast, that's what they typical 30-second TV news story is: a lede and a nut graf, and maybe one sentence of additional information.)

Police: Nut Grafs Are Driving You Nuts

One of youze did a nice alternate lede, but the nut graf fell a bit short. Here was the sequence:

One left in a jiffy. And the other? Not so much.

Jiffy Foods, located in Okemos, was the target of an attempted robbery by two men early this morning.

Then, you start with the chronological narrative of how things unfolded.

First off, the lede was cute and a great teasing set-up for the nut graf.

Now, the nut graf does half of what a good nut graf does, in expanding upon the lede. It says where they left, and what they were doing there.

But the nut graf falls short in another area, and that's answering critical questions created by the lede. Like, why did the one guy stay? And why did the other guy leave in a jiffy? Those question was central to your lede, and you leave the reader still guessing after the nut graf.

I mean, after reading the lede and nut graf, the reader is left guessing what we meant with the whole jiffy/not so much thing. And we can't leave them hanging like that. 

A better nut graf would say something like this:

Two men walked into Jiffy Foods in Okemos as part of an alleged armed robbery attempt, but only one of the suspects was able to flee after the other was beaten by a clerk wielding a cane.

Now, we can go on to the narrative, because the reader knows what the lede meant.

Be sure that you carefully look at your lede, and think about what people need to immediately know for that lede to make sense if they don't read anything other than the lede and nut graf. What they need to know goes in your nut graf.

Missing: Different Kinds Of Lede/Nut Graf Combos

Most of you were direct and to the point in your ledes and then built upon that fact with a nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like this:

In 2015 in Michigan alone, a total of 57,152 people were reported missing at one time or another, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Among the people missing are crime victims, runaway adolescents, people with Alzheimer's disease, distant parents, people who have tried to run away from their debt and people who have run away with lovers.

And that was fine. The lede established the basic premise of the story in a simple and direct manner. And then the nut graf that helped answer questions created by the lede, like, "why do they disappear?"


Some of you tried to take things a step further by looking at the basic fact AND a telling subfact, like, "who is it that disappears?":


Troubled youths and runaways make up for three-fourths of the 57,152 missing people reported in Michigan last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Out of Michigan's missing, 48,384 people were found with another 9,000 still missing. Police estimate that people missing involuntarily total no more than 100 in number.

Here, the nut graf expands on details by looking at how many of the 57,000 plus are still gone, and how many of those are gone against their will. It drills down into that 57,000-plus number a bit.

A few of you tried an anecdotal lede. This one had a lede that covered two grafs offering a personal anecdote symbolic of the larger problem, and then the third (nut) graf hits on that broader problem in a tone that sounds like a traditional straight lede:

Sabrina, a 14-year-old East Lansing resident and former runaway juvenile, is just one of the thousands of Michigan residents who have been rediscovered after earlier being reported as missing.

When Sabrina's parents divorced, she skipped town and moved to New York to get away from an abusive stepfather. Sabrina was discovered two years after she was reported missing after New York City police picked her up for shoplifting and prostitution, said Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used.

According to the U.S. Justice Department, of the 57,152 men, women and children reported missing in Michigan last year, nearly 9,000 remain missing. Three-fourths of Michigan's total missing persons last year were runaway juveniles.

Here's another ambitious anecdotal lede:

Fourteen-year-old Sabrina just needed to escape.

Escape from her parents' divorce.

Escape from her stepfather, who would get drunk and hit her mom.

Just escape.

Sabrina, who spoke on the condition her last name not be used, is among the 42,864 juveniles in Michigan who went missing last year, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

Now, there's one way I think I could enhance these ledes, and that's with a telling quote from Sabrina that would help humanize the voice and perspective. In the case of an anecdotal lede, the best place for a telling quote is between the lede and nut graf, and not after the nut graf like in a more traditional approach.

Which lede/nut graf combos do you like, or hate? And why?

Squirrels: Ledes I Liked

A good number of good grades on this assignment. Good job, folks!

Additionally, you guys took different lede/nut graf approaches, offering a sampling of different ways to do the story. Here's a few examples. This first one was a basic lede/nut graf that did the job well. The lede summed up the problem; the nut graf detailed the consequences, and then you launch into the individual examples of squirrel-insipred woe:

         Lansing Community College officials are blaming squirrels for a recent run of car damage across campus.

  
          Students, teachers and staff members have faced repair bills amounting 

to hundreds of dollars after squirrels began nesting in their cars. 

Here, you did an anecdotal lede that took several grafs before getting to the nut graf:

           For the past few weeks, Oliver Brookes couldn’t figure out why one headlight on his van refused to work.

           Despite having it replaced, the associate professor of English at Lansing Community College said he had continual problems with the headlight in his van. When he opened up the hood to poke around, he was greeted by more than just wires and machinery.

            “There was a big squirrel’s nest in the corner where the light wires were,” he said.

            Lately, squirrels have been causing quite the hassle for many LCC students and staff members by finding refuge under the hoods of cars.

In these next two, you had some fun with word play with fun alternate ledes followed by more to-the-point nut grafs:

         Nutty car problems have been occurring for the student body and faculty members of Lansing Community College this past school year.

          University officials have determined that squirrels are to blame for the issues students, teachers and staff members have been experiencing with their vehicles. 

... and ...  

                  Problems with your car? A furry friend may be the cause. 

                  College officials at Lansing Community College are blaming squirrels for car problems being had by students, teachers, and staff members. 

... and ...  

             Students, teachers, and staff members at Lansing Community College are going nuts courtesy of many problems caused by a familiar animal: the common squirrel. 

             Officials at LCC are blaming squirrels for an influx of car problems affecting individuals who work at and attend the institution.

And these silly ledes are okay. Why? Because this is a silly story. It's not because of your writing preference; it's because the tone is true to the facts. And the facts are unexpected and weird and yes, silly.

As long as you let the facts dictate the tone, then you're doing it based not on opinion but on factual context.

Each of these ledes is a good, solid lede. But which ones do you think worked best? And why?

Robbery: The Mystery Of The Missing Nut Graf

Nut grafs are important. Nut grafs do two important things: they fill in some of the blanks and details from your lede by answering some questions among the 5 W's created by the lede, and they offer a smooth transition to the body of a story.

In this exercise, a few of you had inadequate nut grafs -- or none at all.

What many of you did was write a lede, and then directly go into the chronology of what happened, like here:

A robbery turned into a self-defense shooting late yesterday at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd. in Haslett. 

When 22-year-old, Michael Layoux was working last night, a customer came in to purchase a pack of cigarettes just after 11 p.m. 

Whoa, wait a minute. In the lede, you say there was a robbery that turned into self-defense. Who was robbed? Who defended himself? Who was the robber? The lede created those questins, and a nut graf could have answered 'em. Instead, you dive right into the play-by-play. Essentially, you're holding the reader hostage by not making it clear what conclusion they're reading toward. They need to read the entire story to find out what happened.

The body of a story offers details and evidence that supports your lede. Your nut graf offers just enough of the 5 w's -- who, what, when, where, why, plus how -- so that if a reader goes no further than the nut graf and never reads the chronology, they still know what happened and how it ended.

A nut graf would have been a perfect place to say something like this:

Using a contraband pistol, store clerk Michael Layoux shot and killed Robert Wiess as the latter man fled the store after robbing the register of an estimated $20 in cash around 11 p.m. Wiess' body was found nearby. 

Here was a better use of a lede-nut graf sequence by one of youze:

A 22-year-old store clerk killed a man in self-defense after the man robbed his store at gunpoint late yesterday in Haslett.

Michael Layoux, a clerk at O-Mart on 1284 E. Forest Blvd., shot Robert Wiess after he said he was threatened with a pistol, and Wiess demanded the money in the cash register.

The lede suggests a pair of whos (clerk, a man who was killed), a what (killed a man), a when (yesterday), a where (in Haslett) and a why (self-defense).

Then, the nut grafs details the whos (naming the clerk and gunman), the what (the killing was done by shooting), the where (at the O-Mart, address noted) and the why (threatened with a pistol, demanded cash).

Only then does the story continues with the chronology of how things unfolded, in time order. You get a bit more information in the nut graf to help establish the lede -- and to let people know how things ended up -- before getting a blow-by-blow of how things went down.

After placing that next to the lede, then you can dive into the chronology. Basically, your lede/nut graf combo should read like a mini-story. (And if you ever write for broadcast, that's what they typical 30-second TV news story is: a lede and a nut graf, and maybe one sentence of additional information.)

Lawsuit: A Good Example

Consistent attribution, consistent use of allegedly and a lede/nut graf sequence that zeroes in on the main point:

-->

Two parents are suing the Kennedy High School principal, superintendent, and East Lansing School District for $500,000 in Ingham County Circuit Court.

Parents Thaddeus and Laura Dowdell allege that their son James Dowdell has not learned enough to be graduated from high school and that this is the failure of Principal Marvin Ferrell, Superintendent Greg Hubbard and the school district.

James Dowdell, who has attended Kennedy High School for the past three years, has allegedly been told that he will graduate from the school on or around the beginning of next June, according to the lawsuit.

The problem is that James Dowdell’s parents allege that he can barely read or do simple arithmetic and has not learned enough to be graduated from high school or to successfully function in a society as complex as ours, according to the lawsuit. 

Thaddeus and Laura Dowdell allege that the fault does not lie with son James, who according to tests administered by guidance counselors at Kennedy High School has an average IQ of 94, according to the lawsuit. 

The Dowdells allege that it is the failure of the defendants to employ competent teachers, to maintain discipline, to provide remedial help and to provide an atmosphere in which learning might take place, according to the lawsuit.

Along with $500,000 in compensatory damages, the Dowdells are also demanding that James Dowdell be retained at the high school until he further masters the skills expected of a high school graduate, according to the lawsuit.

The plaintiffs are also demanding a trial by jury, according to the lawsuit.

Rescue: A Few Good Examples ...

... of doing this story well, from past classes. First, this one:

Play fort-building with friends ended tragically yesterday at 4:40 p.m., after a tunnel four boys were digging suddenly collapsed and only three made it out alive. 

The victim has been identified as 11-year-old James Roger Lo after officers responded to a call at the west end of Liberty Avenue, located on the property of the Wagnor Development Corporation, according to an East Lansing Fire Department incident report. 

After the tunnel collapsed, witnesses at the scene said one boy ran for help while the others tried to free Lo from the dirt, according to the report. 

The report said when the fire department arrived on the scene there were approximately 20 adults trying to remove the boy with their hands and shovels.  The boy had been submerged for 12 minutes at this point, the report said. 

According to the report, the rescue was challenging as the walls of the tunnel continued to cave in with digging efforts.

 When Lo’s head was exposed from the dirt medics rushed to begin resuscitation efforts, however another collapse occurred before they were able to make any progress, the report said. 

The fire department was unable to use heavy equipment so as not to further injure the victim, the report said. 

The report said the body was recovered six feet from the opening of the tunnel at 5:24 p.m. and was taken to the Regional Medical Center where he was pronounced dead from an extensive lack of oxygen. 

Neighbors and witnesses were angry and said they had expressed to the property owner many times that the area was dangerous and needed a fence around the pond  so the neighborhood children could not have access to the land, according to the report. 

The report said the homeowner should be contacted as they may file a claim or have to be compensated for fence repairs. 

*****

Next up is this one:  

An 11-year-old East Lansing boy died yesterday evening after a tunnel he was digging with his friends collapsed on him.

James Roger Lo, a student at Lincoln Elementary School, and three of his friends were digging into the side of a hill near the pond on the west end of Liberty Avenue when, at 4:40 p.m., the tunnel collapsed, according to an incident report filed by Lt. Steven Chenn.

Also according to the report, the East Lansing Fire Department arrived onto the scene at 4:52 p.m., with some 20 adults already there, digging with their hands and a few shovels.

The bystanders expressed their anger at the property owner, Wagnor Development Corporation, for inaction on various warnings that the pond area was a popular but dangerous play area for children, according to the report.

Firefighters took over the work and manage to expose the boy’s head within ten minutes, but another collapse prevented medics from initiating resuscitation, the report said.

Heavy equipment was ruled out, as firefighters had to be careful not to further injure Lo, according to the report.

To expedite the rescue, the report said, firefighters tore sections from a fence at a nearby residence and used it as makeshift shoring to hold back the continually-collapsing dirt.

Lo was freed at 5:24 p.m., taken to East Lansing Regional Medical Center, and pronounced dead there from extensive lack of oxygen, the report said.

Police: Some Good Examples

Note a good lede that gets to what the latest news is, a strong nut graf that sums up what happened that brought us to the point of the lede, short paragraphs with each turn of events getting itss own graf, and good and consistent attribution throughout: 

One man is in police custody and another is on the loose after the duo’s attempted robbery of a 24-hour convenience store went awry early this morning.

Jiffy Foods employee Terry DaRoza managed to fend off two men with nothing more than his cane after one of the men pulled a knife on him in an attempt to rob the 24-hour convenience store in Okemos. 

According to the Ingham County Sherriff’s Department’s police report, DaRoza said the two men arrived at approximately 1:15 a.m. and asked to use the restroom at the store, located at 4010 Holbrook Drive.

According to the police report, DaRoza then went behind the counter to get the key to the bathroom but was followed by one of the suspects, local resident Timothy Keel, 19, who then allegedly pulled out a knife.

DaRoza, who was still wearing a cast due to an injury he had suffered recently, used his cane to bludgeon Keel, hitting him repeatedly in the face, according to the police report.  

The blows caused Keel to fall to the floor, which is when the suspect still at large attempted to grab the cane from DaRoza, who proceeded to beat him with it, causing the suspect to flee, according to the police report.

A customer then entered and helped DaRoza tie Keel up using their belts to secure him until police arrived, according to the police report. 

Keel is now in police custody and is suffering from a broken nose and jaw from the beating he took at the hands of DaRoza. Keel is being charged with armed robbery and resisting a merchant, according to the police report. 

The police also said to be on the lookout for a brown, ’94, two-door Toyota Celica which the second suspect fled in.  
**** 
Here's another one worth reviewing: 

**** 

This morning a store clerk in Okemos apprehended one of the men who tried to rob the 24-hour establishment.

Terry DaRoza a full-time clerk at the Jiffy Foods, 4010 Holbrook Drive, subdued an armed assailant at approximately 1:15 this morning and with the help of a customer tied him up until police arrived.

DaRoza stated that he was cleaning a popcorn machine when two men entered Jiffy Foods around 1:15 a.m., according to an Ingham County Sheriff's Department report. 

They asked to use the restroom, and when he went to get the key from behind the counter one of the men allegedly pulled a knife, the report said.

The man who allegedly pulled the knife has been identified as Timothy Keel, the report said.

DaRoza uses a cane due to his leg being in a cast from a recent injury he obtained at construction job accident, the report said

DaRoza said that he swung his cane multiple times as hard as he could at Keel's face, according to the report.

Paramedics said that Keel's jaw, nose, and other bones in his face were broken, according to the report. 

At this time the unidentified second suspect attempted to grab DaRoza's cane, at which point DaRoza began to hit the suspect with his cane, the report said.

As the second suspect fled, Stuart Adler entered Jiffy Foods and proceeded to help DaRoza bind Keel with their belts, the report said.

Officers from the Ingham County Sheriff's Department arrived on scene around 1:30 a.m., the report said.

  

DaRoza said he was not injured in the incident, according to the report.

Keel was charged with armed robbery and resisting a merchant, the report said.

Police: Nut Grafs Are Driving You Nuts

One of youze did a nice alternate lede, but the nut graf fell a bit short. Here was the sequence:

One left in a jiffy. And the other? Not so much.

Jiffy Foods, located in Okemos, was the target of an attempted robbery by two men early this morning.

Then, you start with the chronological narrative of how things unfolded.

First off, the lede was cute and a great teasing set-up for the nut graf.

Now, the nut graf does half of what a good nut graf does, in expanding upon the lede. It says where they left, and what they were doing there.

But the nut graf falls short in another area, and that's answering critical questions created by the lede. Like, why did the one guy stay? And why did the other guy leave in a jiffy? Those question was central to your lede, and you leave the reader still guessing after the nut graf.

I mean, after reading the lede and nut graf, the reader is left guessing what we meant with the whole jiffy/not so much thing. And we can't leave them hanging like that. 

A better nut graf would say something like this:

Two men walked into Jiffy Foods in Okemos as part of an alleged armed robbery attempt, but only one of the suspects was able to flee after the other was beaten by a clerk wielding a cane.

Now, we can go on to the narrative, because the reader knows what the lede meant.

Be sure that you carefully look at your lede, and think about what people need to immediately know for that lede to make sense if they don't read anything other than the lede and nut graf. What they need to know goes in your nut graf. 

Meeting: A Good Example

Note the to-the-point lede and the strong nut graf and telling quotes tight grafs and ranking of information in order of importance and newsworthiness. Here we go:

  

The Grand Ledge School Board voted to keep using the same biology textbooks in Grand Ledge schools last night despite complaints from citizens that the books do not teach creationism.

After a lively public hearing that about 100 people attended, the board voted 6-3 to continue using the current textbooks.

“We’ve seen your biology books,” Grand Ledge parent Claire Sawyer said. “I don’t want my children using them. They never mention the theory of creationism.”

The debate went back and forth among members of the public in attendance.

“Evolution isn’t a theory,” Grand Ledge parent Harley Euon said. “It’s a proven fact. Creationism is a religious idea, not even a scientific theory. People here are trying to force schools to teach our children their religion.”

After the vote in favor of the current textbooks, the board said they encourage parents to discuss the matter of creationism versus evolution in their individual homes. 

In other discussion, the board opted to continue remedial summer classes for one more year, but to examine whether the remedial classes are worth their cost.

The classes, which the board said cost about $2.1 million, are set to stay for at least one more year after a 7-2 vote.

The classes are only used by about 900 students each summer, according to board member Umberto Vacante.

“If we’re going to spend that kind of money, I think we should use it to help and reward our most talented students,” Vacante said. “They’re the ones we ignore. We could offer special programs for them.”

Superintendent Greg Hubbard disagreed with Vacante’s assessment.

“Some of these summer students have learning disabilities and emotional problems, and they really need the help,” Hubbard said. “This would hurt them terribly. Without it, they might never graduate.”

In budget discussions, the board announced that $9.3 million of the $618.7 million in next year’s budget will be spent on the construction of a new elementary school on West Madison Avenue. 

The school will be completed and open in two years, the board said.

The board said teachers and administrators are set to receive wage increases of 4.5 percent and 6 percent, respectively.