Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Out-of-Class #2: One More Example

7/18/16
MSU Alumni
A Michigan State degree can help immensely after graduating, and some MSU alumni are proving it.

Michigan State is one of the most prestigious universities in, not only Michigan, but the whole United States. Students who graduate usually leave with a bigger brain and a lifetime of memories that they will cherish for the rest of their lives. They will also leave with a degree that looks impressive on any resume.

HOW CAN WE QUANTIFY THAT CLAIM? WHAT ARE THE STATS FOR MSU ALUMS GETTING JOBS VERSUS OTHER SCHOOLS OR THE NATIONAL AVERAGE? IS IT HIGHER OR LOWER? WHAT DO HEADHUNTERS AND CAREER ADVISERS SAY? DON’T JUST MAKE THE CLAIM; SUBSTANTIATE IT

Take it from 23-year-old Scott Oldham, who graduated from Michigan State three years ago with a degree in mechanical engineering.  The choice for him to study there was easy, he said.  He decided after his first visit to the school, and seeing how extraordinary the campus was, he knew he belonged there.

Since graduating, he didn’t have any trouble finding work and now works for Solar City, which is an energy provider.  He says he has no regrets about choosing MSU, and said, “They definitely made me into what I am today. HOW SO? DETAIL AND EXPLAIN. DON’T JUST TELL ME IT MADE ME; SHOW ME HOW IT MADE ME Things are going great.”

Oldham isn’t the only person who has had no problems finding work out of college.  21-year-old Jason Schick graduated a year early last year. After graduation he also was able to find work right away, and now he works full time at a physical therapy office as a rehab technician. 

“Yeah the job is going great,” says Schick, “and I plan on going to med school too but I’m not sure where yet.” Clearly, things are going good for him too and his degree and 4.0 GPA have to take most of the blame for that.

SAME THING: WHAT WAS IT, SPECIFICALLY, ABOUT MSU THAT HE THINKS GAVE HIM AN EDGE? DON’T JUST TELL ME THE GENERALITY; SHOW ME THE SPECIFICS AS WELL

Even though graduating students may not always find work in their field right out of college, there are still other things that can be done with a degree. 

Adam Javery, who graduated two years ago with degree in communications, was not able to find a job right away. 

After a year out of school he made the choice to join the United States Airforce.  AIR FORCE IS TWO WORDS PER ITS FULL AND FORMAL TITLE, PER AP STYLE However, with his bachelor’s degree, he was able to move up the ranks fast and now sits as a 2nd Lieutenant as he trains in San Antonio, Texas.

HOW DID HIS BACHELOR’; DEGREE AND SPECIFICALLY ONE FROM MSU HELP HIM COMPARED TO OTHERS? DON’T JUST TELL ME; SHOW ME

When Javery finishes his training he will pilot flying drones for the military, meaning he will be controlling a flying vehicle while he controls it on the ground below.

With how successful his early military career has been, Javery plans to stay in the service for at least six more years. “So the normal time served in the military is usually four years, but I really like where it’s going so I’m not sure how long I’m going to stay in yet.”

Getting a degree is what matters most when pursuing a career after college, ACCORDING TO WHOM? WHAT IS THE DATA FOR THAT? but don’t let that take away the importance of the experiences that Michigan State brings its students every year. 

The reason Javery initially wanted to attend MSU was because he wanted to join the marching band.  Even though he didn’t make it, he said that he still loved seeing them perform around campus and at football games.

He also was a part of the intermural soccer league and the long board club.  “I met so many people in that club. We would have a whole squad and would just roll through campus all day on our long boards.”

AND HOW DID THOSE EXPERIENCES HELP HIM GET A JOB? WE NEED TO TIE IT BACK IN IF THERE IS A TIE, AND IF THERE ISN’T WE NEED TO CUT THIS OUT

Michigan State is full of clubs like these that help students from all over campus come together and meet people with the same interests as them.  Scott Oldham was also a part of intermural soccer as well and he said that after joining the team he found out that a lot of them played soccer almost every day. “It was good that I found something to do, otherwise I would have just sat in my dorm all the time.”

Jason Schick says, like most people, the best times were when he and his friends would go to the sporting events, mainly football.  “Everyone there just has a good time, well, unless we’re losing of course.” 

AGAIN, WHY DOES ANY OF THIS MATTER TO THE POINT OF MSU GIVING PEOPLE A A CAREER EDGE? HAVE IT MAKE SENSE FOR ME

As one of the greatest universities in the land, Michigan State has clearly not only been giving a great experience while they attend, but it has also been preparing its students to be successful after college. 

A degree from one of the top schools in the country and a lifetime of memories are just part of what MSU brings its students.

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ASSIGNMENT GRADE: (REDACTED)


INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WE HAVE WITH THIS STORY IS THAT IT IS TOO ONE-SIDED. ALL WE HAVE ARE QUOTES FROM PEOPLE WHO WENT TO SCHOOL HERE: NO SCHOOL OFFICIALS LIKE CAREER COUNSELORS, NO PEOPLE WHO HIRED MSU GRADS TO SEE IF THEY ACTUALLY USED THE PERSON’S MSU EXPERIENCE AS A REASON TO HIRE THEM; NO NEUTRAL EXPERT LIKE A BUSINESS PROF WHO SPECIALIZES IN EMPLOYMENT ISSUES TO COMMENT ON WHAT FACTORS DO MATTER WHEN GETTING HIRED AND HOW WHERE YOU WENT TO SCHOOL RANKS, AND NO DATA TESTING YOUR PREMISE THAT MSU GIVES PEOPLE AN EDGE. WHAT IS THE DATA FOR MSUERS GETTING JOBS, AND HOW SOON THEY GET THEM, AND HOW IT COMPARES TO NATIONAL AVERAGES? PLUS, WE DON’T GET ENOUGH INTO DETAILS; WE HAVE SOMEONE SAY MSU GAVE THEM AN EDGE, BUT THEN WE DON’T SAY WHAT THAT EDGE WAS, OR HOW IT PLAYED ITSELF OUT. DON’T JUST TELL ME SOMETHING IS SO; SHOW ME THE DETAILS PROVING IT.

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