Friday, July 8, 2016

Out-of-Class #1: A Typical Example of Problems ...

... many of you faced in your story regarding sourcing, where it was too one-sided. Please take a look at this story and my comments at the end:

6/30/16
PARKING TICKETS AT MSU

How Parking Tickets Affect MSU Students

SPARTANS WILL be ticketed, and for college students, every penny counts. Along with the cost of tuition, books, housing, food and transportation countless Michigan State students face the fear of receiving costly parking tickets.

When surveyed, 53 out of 65 MSU students said they had received at least one parking ticket during their college careers. “I feel like I’ve gotten a million,” Lauren Sallen, MSU senior said. “My bank account dies a little every time.”

According to a Michigan State Police Department employee, tickets range from $15 to $100, which can add up quickly, especially if not paid or appealed for within the first seven days of receiving the ticket. After those seven days a $10 late fee is tacked on to the existing amount.

“My parking tickets added up to over $100 from this year, I just never had the money to pay them and they kept adding up,” Brandon Halmaghi, MSU Junior JUNIOR IS LOWER CASE, PER AP STYLE said. “Finally I had to borrow money from a friend to pay them so they wouldn’t get any higher. I felt really bad having to do that, owing people is the worst, it stresses me out.”

With Michigan State’s campus being eight square miles some students find it difficult to get from class to class. “It’s really hard to make it to class sometimes,” Amber Peters, MSU junior COMMA HERE said. “I don’t understand why there is such little parking for such a large campus.”
HOW MANY PARKING SPACES ARE THERE ON CAMPUS, FOR HOW MANY STUDENTS AND STAFF? WHAT IS THE RESPONSE FROM MSU OFFICIALS ON WHY THERE IS THE AMOUNT OF PARKING THERE IS? IF SOMEONE MAKES A CLAIM, WE HAVE TO GIVE THE OTHER SIDE A CHANCE TO RESPOND.

Students pay around $23,000 a year for in-state tuition and $45,000 a year for out-of-state tuition to attend MSU according to Michigan State’s Office of Admissions. START NEW PARAGRAPH HERE; ONLY ONE MAIN POINT OR ONE SUPPORTING POINT OR ONE QUOTE PER GRAF “Where does all of our money go?” Jake Wyngard, MSU junior said. “I just think that since we pay so much money to go to school here, we should be given basic amenities like parking.”

AGAIN, WE NEED A RESPONSE FROM A NAMED MSU OFFICIAL WHO OVERSEES PARKING AND INFTASTRUCTURE

After paying the costly tuition prices students must be aware that if they hold out on paying their parking violations they will be withheld from class registration, according to The THE IS LOWER CASE HERE MSU Police Department.

“I work so hard and take out loans to afford the tuition here,” Breanna Candela, MSU junior said. “Then I try and drive to class and there is absolutely no parking, or the parking garage is so far away that it’s useless. Or I’ll get a ticket for parking somewhere for less than five minutes, that’s the most frustrating thing.”

Besides the fact of actually getting a ticket what students don’t seem to understand is why the tickets need to cost so much. START NEW PARAGRAPH HERE; ONLY ONE MAIN POINT OR ONE SUPPORTING POINT OR ONE QUOTE PER GRAF “I get that if I park somewhere I’m not supposed to I could be ticketed,” James Shockley, MSU junior, said. “But can’t they be like $5 to $10, so I can actually afford them. I’ve gotten several tickets that are $45 and it is actually really hard to come up with the money, it’s so annoying.”
WE NEED A RESPONSE FROM AN MSU OFFICIAL WHO ACTUALLY IS IN CHARGE OF SETTING PARKING PENALTY RATES AS TO WHY IT IS WHAT IT IS

Students sometimes have to choose paying parking tickets over other important things. “Last week I walked out to my car and there was a ticket,” Gabbi O’Connell, MSU junior COMMA HERE said. “I just started crying right away. I barely have enough money to buy groceries, seeing that $45 ticket made me just break down.”

For students that can’t afford to pay their tickets right away they can find themselves with bigger issues. If an individual has more than six unpaid parking violations their vehicle may be impounded or they may even be arrested. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!
PLUS, WE NEED AN MSU HIGH-RANKING PARKING OFFICIAL HERE TO SAY WHY THAT IS THE LIMIT BEFORE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES SET IN
“I just had to pay $145 worth of tickets from this year and had a warrant out for my arrest,” Allie Buck, MSU senior said. “I couldn’t believe how much they added up too and almost being arrested was the scariest thing ever, it gave me such anxiety.”

Saving money in college can be very difficult for full HYPHEN HERE ime students. “Between taking classes and working to pay for rent there is no extra time for me to work off a parking ticket,” Candela said. “Free parking for students during the school week shouldn’t be that much to ask for.”
WE NEED A RESPONSE FROM A HIGH-RANKING MSU OFFICIAL AS TO WHY THEY DON’T OFFER FREE PARKING
“While going to school it would be nice if us students could be given an easier time when it comes to parking tickets,” Abhi Shah, MSU junior said. “They’re just another added stress that we don’t need.”

AGAIN, A RESPONSE FROM MSU NEEDED HERE

Students say they are hoping for changes in the MSU parking system in the near future and are unhappy with its current status. THIS SOUNDS MORE LIKE A NUT GRAF THAN THE LAST GRAF OF A STORY. WE DON’T NEED A SO-CALLED STAISFYING ENDING IN OUR STORIES BECAUSE IN JOURNALISM WE ARE SUPPOSED TO LEDE WITH THE ENDING AND CONCLUSION, AND THEN BACK INTO THE REST.






























Lauren Sallen:
·      MSU Senior
·       sallenla@msu.edu
·      248-904-5534
·      4852 E Strong Ct Orchard Lake MI 48323
Allie Buck:
·      MSU Senior
·      buckalek@msu.edu
·      248-417-4533
Amber Peters:
·      MSU Junior
·      251 River Street, East Lansing MI, 48823
·      248-880-3333
·      peters.amber36@msu.edu
Jake Wyngard:
·      248-892-0756
·      wyngardj@msu.edu
·      251 River Street, East Lansing MI, 48823
Brandon Halmaghi:
·      MSU junior
·      248-912-8566
·      bhalmaghi@gmail.com
Abhi Shah:
·      MSU junior
·      248-943-2642
·      01abhishah@gmail.com
Breanna Candela:
·      MSU Junior
·      248-670-2410
Gabbi Candela:
·      MSU Junior
·      248-767-5434
Michigan State Police Department employee:
·      She refused to give her name


ASSIGNMENT GRADE: (REDACTED)


INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH STRY STRUCTURE AND ONE SIDE OF THE STORY. PROBLEM IS, WE DON’T REALLY HAVE OTHER SIDES OF THE STORY. IF WE ARE GOING TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO MAKE CLAIMS AND ACCUSATIONS ABOUT A GROUP, THEN WE NEED TO LET HIGH-RANKING PEOPLE REPRESNETING THE GROUP RESPOND. JUST CALLING A LOW-LEVEL MSUPD EMPLOYEE DOESN’T CUT IT; WE SHOULD BE LOOKING TO TALK TO THE POLICE CHIEF AND MSU’S PRESIDENT’S OFFICE AND SUCH TO GET THEIR SIDE OF THIS ISSUE AND A CHANCE TO REBUT WHAT STUDENTS ARE SAYING. AND WE DON’T HAVE A NEUTRAL EXPERT AT ALL LIKE A TRANSPORTATION PROFESSOR (AND YES, THERE ARE SUCH PEOPLE) WHO COULD PUT THIS IN CONTEXT AS TO WHETHER THIS IS A TYPICAL OR ATYPICAL SITUATION AT MSU AND WHAT DRIVES DECISIONS MADE ABOUT HOW MUCH PARKING TO ALLOT IN GENERAL AND SUCH. THIS IS A GOOD START BUT WE SIMPLY NEED BROADER REPORTING; PLEASE REVIEW THE BLOG POSTS FROM EARLIER THIS SEMESTER ON RANGE OF SOURCES AND NEUTRAL EXPERTS. I STRONGLY SUGGEST DOING THE ADDITIONAL REPORTING FOR YOUR REWRITE; SIMPLY MAKING THE COSMESTIC CHANGES I NOTED WON’T BE ENOUGH TO MOVE YOUR GRADE.

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