Monday, June 13, 2016

Controversial: Some Okay Examples

This first one is pretty good. Please note the contextual lede that goes to end result and ultimate outcome and small paragraphs that allow each turn of the story to physically stand out:


This years “Take Our Daughters to Work Day” did not end as smooth for the father and daughter duo when the father, Joseph Murphy, was unexpectedly removed from his position after 18 years of service in front of his daughter, Jennifer Murphy, and co-workers.

Soon after lunch with Jennifer Murphy in the cafeteria, Joseph Murphy was called in to speak with the directer of personnel to be fired immediately as a result of the financial problems that the company were experiencing.

“The company was eliminating a number of middle managers in the company and his position was one that was being eliminated,” said Marilyn Quentin, the personnel director.

He was then escorted by security back to his office to pack up his belongs.

“They shouldn't have fired me yesterday when my daughter was there,” Joseph Murphy said.

Joseph Murphy was the only employee being let go that did not receive an email or a notice from the Office of Human Resources or the company.

As a result, Joseph Murphy’s wife plans to sue the company for the emotional distress caused on their daughter and for the way the dismissal was handled.



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In all fairness, I did clean this one up a bit to confirm with AP style rules and other minor matters. Same with this next one ...



Joseph Murphy thought it was going to be a fun day at work with his daughter, until he got fired that day from a company he's been working with for 18 years.

Yesterday was “Take Our Daughters to Work Day,” so, like any other father, Joseph Murphy brought his 14-year-old daughter Jennifer Murphy to Collins Industries. 

Joseph Murphy is the director of research at Collins Industries where he specializes in making and selling health care products and medical equipment. All employees at Collins Industries got an email, sent by the Office of Human Resources, that encouraged them to bring their daughters.

After lunch, around 2 p.m., Marilyn Quentin, the personnel director, called him in to fire him. The company was having financial issues and they were letting go of 8 mid-lever mangers that day to help cut costs. 

Quentin said,“The timing of the dismissal of Mr. Murphy was regrettable.”

Joseph Murphy, who got the job straight out of college, had to say,“It’s not me I worry about. It’s my daughter. It’s not right. They shouldn’t have fired me yesterday when I had my daughter there."

"I can’t believe they couldn’t have waited one damn day. It was too traumatic for Jennifer, seeing me treated like that, and I think we’ll have to get help for her, professional help,” he said.


The company is helping Joseph Murphy find a new job and is giving him 3 months of severance pay. Murphy’s wife Kathleen Murphy does not think they are doing enough and wants to sue the company for the way they fired him. 

No comment from the president of Collins Industries has been made at this time.


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Here's one more ...



“Take Our Daughters to Work Day” wound up being last day of work for employee of 18 years after he was fired in front of his daughter.

Yesterday morning, Joseph Murphy, 40, decided that he would take his 14-year-old daughter, Jennifer Murphy, to work with him at Collins Industries, where he held the position of director of research.

Collins Industries hired Joseph Murphy after he graduated from college as a research assistant. He received two promotions in his 18 years with the company and was now managing a staff of 14. 

Joseph and JenniferMurphy arrived at work at his normal starting time of 8 a.m., and for the next six hours, Jennifer was able to observe her dad go about a seemingly normal workday.

That was until 2 p.m., when her dad was called in to the personnel director Marilyn Quentin’s office.

Joseph Murphy was being informed that, as a result of financial troubles for the company, he would be fired. He was then escorted back to his office by security and given one hour to leave.

Joseph Murphy was upset about losing his job, but seemed more concerned about the impact it would have on Jennifer Murphy.

“It’s not right. They shouldn’t have fired me yesterday when I had my daughter there.” Joseph Murphy said. “It was too traumatic for Jennifer, seeing me treated like that, and I think we’ll have to get help for her, professional help.”

Joseph Murphy was given severance, but his wife, Kathleen Murphy, thinks they should sue for the way he was terminated.

Joseph Murphy was one of eight people Collins Industries fired yesterday, a cost-cutting measure the company claims was necessary.

“The timing of the dismissal of Mr. Murphy was regrettable,” said Quentin. Collins Industries’ president was unable to be reached for comment.

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