(Name redacted)
June 26, 2014
Out of Class #1
Concussions
“It
is better to miss one game, than the whole season” is the quote buzzing around
the increasing prevention and treatment of concussions in the sports world
today.
The
United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that 1.6
million to 3.8 million concussions occur each year, as reported by the Sports
Concussion Institute.
High
schools and college programs are following suit of professional action taken to
prevent concussions among their athletes more so than in the past. Previously,
players could be cleared to play once the symptoms disappeared, but today
concussions are given deeper medical attention. THIS IS YOUR NUT GRAF, AS IT BEST SUPPOrRTS AND AMPLIFIES THE LEDE.
PLEASE MOVE IT UP
“There
is a greater awareness of the cognitive effects of concussions in the news and
possible connection between repeated concussions in professional athletes and
dementia,” said Dr. Jean-Claude Dutès, Michigan State Professor and Clinical
Neuropsychologist. PROFESSOR AND
CLINICAL NEUROPSYCHOLOGIST ARE LOWER CASE WHEN USED AFTER THE TITLE HOLDER’S
NAME, PER AP STYLE. PLUS, THIS IS
YOUR TELLING QUOTE, AS IT BEST HUMANIZES THE LEDE AND NUT GRAF SEQUENCE. PLEASE
MOVE IT UP.
Dr.
Jean-Claude Dutès JUST DUTES; DO NOT USE
FIRST NAMES OR TITLES ON SECOND AND SUBSEQUENT REFERENCES, PER AP STYLE is
a Fully Licensed Psychologist with more than fifteen years of experience in the
assessment and treatment of persons with acquired brain injury and other
neurocognitive disorders and over twenty years of experience as a psychologist,
as stated in his Michigan State University Rehabilitation biography.
YOUR ORIGINAL NUT GRAF IS A BETTER FIT
HERE, IN CREATING A MINI-DATA AND FACT SET ESTABLISHING THE PROBLEM
Concussions
can happen in a variety of different sports, such as basketball, baseball,
football, cheerleading, diving, and among others causing the head to jolt. Football
is one of the highest and most serve occurrences due the constant forceful
contact of the athletes. HOW DO YOU KNOW
THIS? ATTRIBUTE!
The
Sports Concussion Institute reported on their ITS, STED THEIR website WEBSITE
IS CAPITALIZED, PER AP STYLE that 5 to 10 percent of athletes will
experience a concussion in any given sport season COMMA HERE with football holding a 75 percent chance of concussion.
The
Michigan Department of Community Health defines a concussion as a type of brain
injury that changes the way the brain normally works, which is caused by a
bump, jolt, or blow to the head or body that causes your head to move quickly
back and forth. I’D MOVE THIS GRAF TO
JUST BEFORE THE GRAF STARTING WITH, CONCUSSIONS CAN HAPPEN IN A VARIETY OF
DIFFERENT SPORTS …
WHAT SCHOOL? Girls Junior Varsity Coach Justin Nowak said, “A lot
of times people get concussions and do not even realize it because you do not
have to lose consciousness to get one. When an athlete gets just one it
increases risk for another one, which is scary to think about for girls at such
a young age.”
Students
at Richmond High School received an informational handout for parents and
athletes to read and sign as a requirement to participate 2014 season of
sports, including with the summer off-season. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!
Nowak
said the Richmond Girls Basketball Program GIRLS’
BASKETBALL PROGRAM IS LOWER CASE is making concussion prevention a higher
priority with upcoming seasons.
HOW SO? SHOW ME WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO
HELP PREVENT CONCUSSIONS.
Alongside
high schools, colleges are taking strides to make their athletes more aware of
the risks of concussions.
Kasey
McKay played softball at Gannon University, located in Pennsylvania, last
spring where she was constantly reminded of the dangers of concussions. HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!
“Coach
made sure we knew the signs of a concussion to help be his eyes of the team if
we noticed something he didn’t. He was always afraid someone would not want to
sit out the game, even though they truly needed to,” McKay said.
McKay
said some of the signs her coach told them to look out for was when someone was
complaining about headaches, blurred vision, confusion, memory problems, or sensitivity
to light and noise. He knew by having us knowing the signs we would be able to
notice if another girls seemed a little off that day after a head accident.
Jessica
Barjaktarovich is an in-fielder at Concordia University, located in Ann Arbor, where
her coach focuses on ensuring the players are healthy to get back on the field
after an injury to the head. HOW DO YOU
KNOW THIS? ATTRIBUTE!
“If
you get hit in the head you go see the trainer and they assess you, then it’s
really up to them when you get to play again. There are a series of tests you
have to pass,” Barjaktarovich said.
START QUOTE GRAF WITH ATTRIBUTION WHEN
THE SOURCE IS DIFFERENT THAN THE SOURCE IN THE PREVIOUS GRAF “Concussions are something that need to be taken
more seriously. An athlete with a concussion needs to rest in order to heal.
Continuous concussions without proper recovery time could end up potential severe
and ever-lasting effect to the brain,” Nowak said.
Personal
Trainer Tyler Muzljakovich at Anytime Fitness IN WHAT CITY? THEY’RE EVERYWHERE, SO TELL ME WHICH ONE said, “If I
am working with a client that has recently had a concussion, we avoid impact
training such as running and jumping and we keep their heart rate from getting
too high, as too high of heart rate can lead to an onset of symptoms.”
Muzljakovich
said he ensures to incorporate balance training into his routines to help
strengthen the core to improve balance mechanisms to prevent falling, which
could result in concussions.
“The
cognitive effects of most first time concussions fade in seven days, in some
cases symptoms can last three months. Recovery is complicated, that is it takes
longer, when there have been multiple concussions. In some cases when completed
by psychological factors, symptoms can be reported years after the injury or
injuries,” said Dr. Jean-Claude Dutès.
Coaches
of all competitive levels have began to take concussions more seriously with
growing knowledge of the negative impacts concussions can have following serve
injuries and lawsuits in the professional realm of sports.
Luna
Shyr’s National Geographic News report on the new football equipment stated how
the NFL and football helmet company Riddel ***
FATAL FACT ERROR: RIDDELL, STED RIDDEL *** were sued by the family of
retired linebacker Junior Seau, who committed suicide last year. I DON’T WANT YOU CITING OTHER MEDIA;
RATHER, GET BACKGROUND LIKE THIS FROM A NEUTRAL EXPERT LIKE A SPORTS CONCUSSION
INSTITUTE OR A LAWYER INVOLVED IN SUCH CASES
“Posthumous
tests revealed that Seau had chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a brain disease
linked to repetitive head blows. Seau’s family alleged that his sucide MISSPELLING; SUICIDE, STED SUCIDE resulted
from CTE, which can cause neurobehavioral problems like depression,” Shyr said
in her report. HERE’S ONE WAY TO GET
YOUR OWN SOURCES FOR THIS: LOOK AT HER ARTICLE AND SEE HOW SHE KNOWS IT.WHAT
SOURCES DOES SHE ATTRIBUTE? THEN, CONTACT THOSE SOURCES YOUSELF.
Seau’s
lawsuit is one of the thousands that have taken place recently leading to
millions of dollars of research to be conducted in helmet safety and increasing
focus on concussion prevention and treatment.
Word
Count: 953
Sources
–
1.
Dr. Jean-Claude
Dutès, Ph.D./LP/LPC/NCC
Clinical Neuropsychologist,
Psychology
Section Leader,
Dept. of Radiology
, Clinical Associate Professor,
Dept. of
PM&R College of Osteopathic Medicine at Michigan State University
dutes@msu.edu
2.
Justin Nowak,
Richmond High School JV Girls Basketball Coach
586-817-1728
3.
Kasey McKay,
former college athlete at Gannon University in Pennsylvania
586-907-6525
4.
Jessica
Barjaktarovich, college athlete at Concordia University in Ann Arbor Michigan
586-292-5923
5.
Tyler
Muzljakovich, Personal Trainer at Anytime Fitness in Richmond, Michigan
586-430-1526
6.
Sports Concussion Institute
7.
Luna Shyr’s National Geographic News report
ASSIGNMENT GRADE: 1.0 (1 FACT FATAL)
INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: THIS ONE MADE ME
SAD, BECAUSE I THINK YOU WERE ON TRACK FOR A DECENT GRADE. THE BIGGEST ISSUE
OTHER THAN THE FATAL I HAD WAS STORY ORDER; I THINK YOU HAD GOOD GRAFS, BUT NOT
IN THE BEST SEQUENCE. HERE’S A STRATEGY FOR THE FUTURE: WHEN YOU FINISH
WRITING, PRINT OUT YOUR STORY. THEN, CUT OUT EACH PARAGRAPH. THEN, PLAY WITH
PARAGRAPH ORDER UNTIL YOU HAVE A FLOW YOU THINK CASCADES SEAMLESSLY FROM GRAF
TO GRAF. THE GOOD NEWS HERE IS, IF YOU DO NOTHING MORE THAN FIX THE FATAL FOR THE REWRITE, YOUR GRADE WILL
GO UP A BUNCH. MAKE STRUCTURAL CHANGES AND DO A LITTLE BIT OF REPORTING AND IT’LL
GO UP EVEN MORE.
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