Does this lede say what we meant to say?
A pregnant woman, her husband,
and their 3-year-old daughter were struck by a train while crossing on Michigan Avenue.
I
would say it does not.What we say here is that three people were struck
by the train. But that wasn't the case; they weren't hit by the train;
the SUV in which they were riding was hit. (If they were hit, they'd be
squashed like bugs, right?)
Keep
in mind, someone reading the lede of a story don't know anything yet
about what we're writing about, so they are going to take your words as
being literal. That's why we have to be precise in our writing, and
especially when writing ledes.
What we meant to say was, A sport-utility vehicle carrying a pregnant woman, her husband,
and their 3-year-old daughter was struck by a train while crossing on Michigan Avenue.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Monday, January 27, 2014
First Ledes: Word Order
We can use word order to shorten passages. Like this one:
... according to a study done by sociologists at the University of Florida.
Anytime we have heavy use of "to a" and "by" and "at the," we probably have room to get rid of such terms by moving around word order, like I did here:
... according to a University of Florida sociologists' study.
That turned a 12-word passage into just eight words. Not a ton of words, but critical in making a lede and brief and succinct as possible, while at the same time retaining the exact same meaning as before, with no loss of content.
... according to a study done by sociologists at the University of Florida.
Anytime we have heavy use of "to a" and "by" and "at the," we probably have room to get rid of such terms by moving around word order, like I did here:
... according to a University of Florida sociologists' study.
That turned a 12-word passage into just eight words. Not a ton of words, but critical in making a lede and brief and succinct as possible, while at the same time retaining the exact same meaning as before, with no loss of content.
First Ledes: Don't Forget Your Articles!
I don't mean stories. A mean a grammatical article, like a, an, the.
Like here: 5- and 3-year-old brother and sister die in house fire after playing with matches when smoke detector doesn’t function and babysitter fails to rescue them.
It should be, A 5- and 3-year-old brother and sister die in a house fire after playing with matches when a smoke detector doesn’t function and the babysitter fails to rescue them.
When it comes to writing for news, what messes us up regarding articles are newspaper headlines, which usually drop articles in favor of brevity. While that is true of headlines, that is not true of the actual stories under the headlines. Articles need articles.
If you're not sure if you have articles, read your story out loud and ask yourself if it sounds like you've formed complete sentences (e.g., do you sound like a robot talking -- must bowl now -- or a human being -- I must bowl now?). If not, it's usually because you're missing an article.
Like here: 5- and 3-year-old brother and sister die in house fire after playing with matches when smoke detector doesn’t function and babysitter fails to rescue them.
It should be, A 5- and 3-year-old brother and sister die in a house fire after playing with matches when a smoke detector doesn’t function and the babysitter fails to rescue them.
When it comes to writing for news, what messes us up regarding articles are newspaper headlines, which usually drop articles in favor of brevity. While that is true of headlines, that is not true of the actual stories under the headlines. Articles need articles.
If you're not sure if you have articles, read your story out loud and ask yourself if it sounds like you've formed complete sentences (e.g., do you sound like a robot talking -- must bowl now -- or a human being -- I must bowl now?). If not, it's usually because you're missing an article.
First Ledes: Writing With (AP) Style
In
this assignment, I didn't grade you for adherence to AP Style, since
we're still in the process of going over it. While soon you will be
graded based on AP use, in this one I still cited proper AP Style in
your evaluation, so we can start getting used to it.
And some of the rules include:
It's 911 call, not 9-1-1. So says AP Style, under the heading of 911 call.
It's $1.5 million, not 1.5 million dollars. Under dollars: Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure.
When using addresses, there's lotsa little rules to follow. Let's start looking at a few of 'em.
First, is an address 1840 Maldren Ave. or 1840 Maldren Avenue?
From AP Style, under addresses:
Use the abbreviations Ave., Blvd. and St. only with a numbered address: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Spell them out and capitalize when part of a formal street name without a number: Pennsylvania Avenue. Lowercase and spell out when used alone or with more than one street name: Massachusetts and Pennsylvania avenues.
Spell out and capitalize First through Ninth when used as street names; use figures with two letters for 10th and above: 7 Fifth Ave., 100 21st St. So in this case, it's 1840 Maldren Ave.
And if you referred to the intersection of Michigan Avenue and Wayne Boulevard, that would be the correct reference, not just Michigan and Wayne or Michigan Ave. and Wayne Blvd.
And some of the rules include:
It's 911 call, not 9-1-1. So says AP Style, under the heading of 911 call.
It's $1.5 million, not 1.5 million dollars. Under dollars: Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure.
When using addresses, there's lotsa little rules to follow. Let's start looking at a few of 'em.
First, is an address 1840 Maldren Ave. or 1840 Maldren Avenue?
From AP Style, under addresses:
Use the abbreviations Ave., Blvd. and St. only with a numbered address: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Spell them out and capitalize when part of a formal street name without a number: Pennsylvania Avenue. Lowercase and spell out when used alone or with more than one street name: Massachusetts and Pennsylvania avenues.
Spell out and capitalize First through Ninth when used as street names; use figures with two letters for 10th and above: 7 Fifth Ave., 100 21st St. So in this case, it's 1840 Maldren Ave.
And if you referred to the intersection of Michigan Avenue and Wayne Boulevard, that would be the correct reference, not just Michigan and Wayne or Michigan Ave. and Wayne Blvd.
Friday, January 24, 2014
JRN 200: Three Accuracy Checklists
As
a public service, offered below are digital copies of three accuracy
checklists. Please take a look at the
suggestions here, and work them into a regular routine that best works
for you.
*****
Instructions
After completing your story, use the down arrow on your keyboard to highlight and then complete each of these checks.
I. Facts
Check these first three items while your story is on the screen:
1. Run spell-check, review suggestions and correct any actual errors.
2. Click hyperlinks.
3. Call phone numbers.
Use a printout of the story for the remaining checks:
4. Put a ruler under each line as you read the text. Underline every fact, and then double-check each one, including:
a) Names and titles of people, places and companies - Also, does each second reference (Jones) have a first reference (Mary Jones)?
b) Numbers and calculations - Do the numbers add up? Is it millions or billions? Are the percentages correct?
c) Dates and ages - Watch references to “next month/last month” when the month is changing.
d) Quotes - Are quotes accurate and properly attributed? Have you fully captured what each person meant?
e) Superlatives - What’s your source that something is the biggest, oldest, etc.?
II. Grammar
5. Check each sentence for correct use of:
a) Subject-verb agreement - Also, are you consistent in your use of either the present or the past tense to tell the story?
b) Pronoun-noun agreement.
c) Plurals and possessives.
d) Punctuation.
III. Spelling
6. Read the story backwards, checking the spelling of each word. Use a dictionary.
IV. Fairness and context
7. Terms - Define or eliminate unfamiliar terms, such as acronyms and jargon.
8. Fairness - Have all stakeholders been contacted and given a chance to talk?
9. Missing - Does the story leave any important question unanswered?
10. Context - Does the reader have the context to understand the story?
V. Your own common errors (for example, if you have a habit of getting dates wrong, misspelling names, ect.)
11. ____________________________________________
12.____________________________________________
VI. Final checks
13. Read the story aloud.
14. Have someone else read it.
15. Accompanying elements - Run the previous checks on the story's headlines, captions, sidebars, photos, graphics, videos, interactive media and podcasts. Check for inconsistencies.
*****
CHECKLIST ON AVOIDING ACCURACY PROBLEMS
Reporting isn't just about habits; it's also about a mindset that nothing is assumed and everything needs to be cross-checked for accuracy. This is a modified version of an editor's checklist on how to help reporters avoid inaccuracy problems by having the right skeptical mindset. I think there are some tips worth following. Let's take a look:
Problem: Not detail-oriented. Plan to ask at least five extra questions not covered in your assignment that go into greater detail; keep asking clarifying questions.
Problem: Making assumptions. Reports should back up statements in story with evidence; reporters should take their time and not rush during interviews; reporters should self-edit religiously and ask themselves if they can back up what they are writing; reporters should ask sources follow-up questions; reporters should ask the obvious questions to make sure they're not assuming; reporters should ask, "How do you know that? and "how do I know that?" of themselves and sources.
Problem: Interviewing confusion. Reporters shouldn't be shy about asking sources to slow down or repeat something; reporters ask "can you elaborate?" or say, "I don't understand"; reporters can repeat the information back to the source in their own words and give the source the opportunity to correct them; reporters can go back over direct quotes with the source; reporters can make a recording of events or interviews that can be checked.
Problem: Relying on out-of-date information. Never type something before you've checked it; always ask sources for an updated title; do research ahead of time; check Web sites for the last time they were updated and if it's been more than one year, then the information might be old; check the date on press releases.
Problem: Time constraints. Plan ahead for a long day -- start doing research the night before or get up early to get all your reporting done on time; overestimate the time everything will take; start writing what you know while waiting for that last callback, it might also help you find out earlier what you don't know; don't multitask during the editing process; keep fact-checking.
Problem: Exaggerating/using more powerful words than your reporting shows. Use precise language; use self-discipline and resist the urge to overwrite or overstate the facts; always attribute it. If you can't attribute some part of your story, then perhaps your words are wrong; reporters should use balanced reporting and make sure that it's reflected in the writing of the story; reporters should put the facts in the proper context.
Problem: Relying on unreliable sources. Reporters can ask sources for another source or documents to back up what they tell you; reporters should vet sources' credibility during interviews. Does what they're saying make sense? Always ask, "How do you know that?"
*****
The best blog post I read this morning—of many—is good. Very good,
actually. It flows. It’s fresh. It has a rhythm that drew me in and made
me want to read every word. The ideas are thought-provoking.
But how much more enjoyable would it have been if I didn’t have to reread certain sections to make sure I was getting the gist of things? How much better would the post be if I didn’t hesitate at it’s instead of its and there instead of they’re? How much intended meaning and power was lost over a lack of subject-verb agreement or commas that might have been better placed?
Tripping, stumbling, and hesitating over misspelled words or ill-placed punctuation is like watching a TV show with a shaky cable signal or trying to talk while a cell phone connection is breaking up—the reader is jostled right out of the story the writer is telling.
Some grammar and punctuation rules can—and should—be broken, when you know what the rules are and how to break them effectively. But the lack of solid proofreading in this piece is like cake without icing, pottery without glaze, or a fine piece of wood in need of a polish. The writer didn’t step back and get his Eagle Eye on.
“Come on,” you chortle. “It’s hard to proofread your own work. And who notices anyway?”
Believe it or not, lots of people notice unless they’re just scanning. And it’s quite possible that many of those scanners might linger on every word you write if typos and bloopers and unintentionally-broken punctuation or grammar rules weren’t making them stumble and wonder and lose their focus.
Any time you write something, you want readers to enjoy and appreciate your masterpiece. It’s your baby, an extension of yourself. Take good care of it.
Proofreading your own work can be challenging, it’s true. You already know the story, you already have a picture in your mind of what to expect and, as a result, you tend to skim over words and groups of words. Plus, you know your own voice and, even if there are errors in your writing, you don’t “hear” them or see them because you’re in a hurry, and your mind fills in the blanks as you skim over things. You might be daydreaming—even if you’re reading out loud.
If you have a system, though, proofreading can be like doing a quality check on an assembly line. It’s just busy work, really, and not very creative at all. But it’s so important.
2. Make sure you have no distractions or potential interruptions. Shut down email and social media, hide the cell phone, shut off the TV, radio, or music, and close the door. Print your document if you need to get away from the computer altogether.
3. Forget the content or story. Analyze sentence by sentence; don’t read in your usual way. Focus on spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Work backwards, if that helps, or say the words and sentences out loud. Concentrate.
4. Make several passes for different types of errors. Try checking spelling and end punctuation on one pass, grammar and internal punctuation on another, and links or format on yet another pass. Develop a system.
5. Take notes. If you notice a format issue while checking spelling or if you need to look something up, make a quick note and come back to it so you don’t lose your focus.
6. If you do make a last-minute change to a few words, be sure to check the entire sentence or even paragraph over again. Many errors are the result of changes made without adjusting other, related words.
7. Check facts, dates, quotes, tables, references, text boxes, and anything repetitive or outside of the main text separately. Focus on one element or several related aspects of your writing at a time.
8. Monitor yourself. If you find yourself drifting off and thinking about something else, go back over that section again. Try slapping your hand or tapping a foot in a rhythm as you examine each word and sentence out loud.
9. Get familiar with your frequent mistakes. Even the most expreienced writer mixes up their, they’re, and there or too, two, and to. When I’m tried or writing fast, I right what I here in my mind and just get careless. Not a big deal. That’s what proofreading is for. You caught those errors, didn’t you?
10. Check format last. Every document has format, even an email, whether it’s paragraph spacing, text wrap, indentations, spaces above and below a bullet list or between subheadings and text, and so on. Leave this for the end because contents may shift during handling.
You already know better than to rely on spell-check, so I won’t belabor the point except to say that “wear form he untied stats” doesn’t bother spell-check but it might get an American in trouble at a customs checkpoint.
Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips
Purdue Online Writing Lab: General Writing Resources
Oxford Dictionaries: Better Writing
GrammarBook.com
You can also download a free copy of The Handy-Dandy Everybody’s Guide to Proofreading over at my blog, Peaceful Planet.
Don’t let mistakes tarnish your work of art, whether it’s a research paper, a blog post, a query letter, or business communication. And remember, proofreading is not the same as writing and editing. It’s not about creativity; it’s a science that needs a system. Follow these tips and create your own system, and you’ll have your Eagle Eye on in no time.
Leah McClellan is a freelance writer, copyeditor, proofreader, gardener, vegetarian, and animal lover who dreams of world peace and writes about communication at Peaceful Planet.
*****
ACCURACY CHECKLIST
FOR JOURNALISTS
Created by the
Reynolds School for Business Journalism
Distributed by the
Poynter Institute for Journalism
Instructions
After completing your story, use the down arrow on your keyboard to highlight and then complete each of these checks.
I. Facts
Check these first three items while your story is on the screen:
1. Run spell-check, review suggestions and correct any actual errors.
2. Click hyperlinks.
3. Call phone numbers.
Use a printout of the story for the remaining checks:
4. Put a ruler under each line as you read the text. Underline every fact, and then double-check each one, including:
a) Names and titles of people, places and companies - Also, does each second reference (Jones) have a first reference (Mary Jones)?
b) Numbers and calculations - Do the numbers add up? Is it millions or billions? Are the percentages correct?
c) Dates and ages - Watch references to “next month/last month” when the month is changing.
d) Quotes - Are quotes accurate and properly attributed? Have you fully captured what each person meant?
e) Superlatives - What’s your source that something is the biggest, oldest, etc.?
II. Grammar
5. Check each sentence for correct use of:
a) Subject-verb agreement - Also, are you consistent in your use of either the present or the past tense to tell the story?
b) Pronoun-noun agreement.
c) Plurals and possessives.
d) Punctuation.
III. Spelling
6. Read the story backwards, checking the spelling of each word. Use a dictionary.
IV. Fairness and context
7. Terms - Define or eliminate unfamiliar terms, such as acronyms and jargon.
8. Fairness - Have all stakeholders been contacted and given a chance to talk?
9. Missing - Does the story leave any important question unanswered?
10. Context - Does the reader have the context to understand the story?
V. Your own common errors (for example, if you have a habit of getting dates wrong, misspelling names, ect.)
11. ____________________________________________
12.____________________________________________
VI. Final checks
13. Read the story aloud.
14. Have someone else read it.
15. Accompanying elements - Run the previous checks on the story's headlines, captions, sidebars, photos, graphics, videos, interactive media and podcasts. Check for inconsistencies.
*****
CHECKLIST ON AVOIDING ACCURACY PROBLEMS
Reporting isn't just about habits; it's also about a mindset that nothing is assumed and everything needs to be cross-checked for accuracy. This is a modified version of an editor's checklist on how to help reporters avoid inaccuracy problems by having the right skeptical mindset. I think there are some tips worth following. Let's take a look:
Problem: Not detail-oriented. Plan to ask at least five extra questions not covered in your assignment that go into greater detail; keep asking clarifying questions.
Problem: Making assumptions. Reports should back up statements in story with evidence; reporters should take their time and not rush during interviews; reporters should self-edit religiously and ask themselves if they can back up what they are writing; reporters should ask sources follow-up questions; reporters should ask the obvious questions to make sure they're not assuming; reporters should ask, "How do you know that? and "how do I know that?" of themselves and sources.
Problem: Interviewing confusion. Reporters shouldn't be shy about asking sources to slow down or repeat something; reporters ask "can you elaborate?" or say, "I don't understand"; reporters can repeat the information back to the source in their own words and give the source the opportunity to correct them; reporters can go back over direct quotes with the source; reporters can make a recording of events or interviews that can be checked.
Problem: Relying on out-of-date information. Never type something before you've checked it; always ask sources for an updated title; do research ahead of time; check Web sites for the last time they were updated and if it's been more than one year, then the information might be old; check the date on press releases.
Problem: Time constraints. Plan ahead for a long day -- start doing research the night before or get up early to get all your reporting done on time; overestimate the time everything will take; start writing what you know while waiting for that last callback, it might also help you find out earlier what you don't know; don't multitask during the editing process; keep fact-checking.
Problem: Exaggerating/using more powerful words than your reporting shows. Use precise language; use self-discipline and resist the urge to overwrite or overstate the facts; always attribute it. If you can't attribute some part of your story, then perhaps your words are wrong; reporters should use balanced reporting and make sure that it's reflected in the writing of the story; reporters should put the facts in the proper context.
Problem: Relying on unreliable sources. Reporters can ask sources for another source or documents to back up what they tell you; reporters should vet sources' credibility during interviews. Does what they're saying make sense? Always ask, "How do you know that?"
*****
Get Your Eagle Eye On: 10 Tips for Proofreading Your Own Work
A guest post by Leah McClellan of Peaceful Planet
The best blog post I read this morning—of many—is good. Very good,
actually. It flows. It’s fresh. It has a rhythm that drew me in and made
me want to read every word. The ideas are thought-provoking.But how much more enjoyable would it have been if I didn’t have to reread certain sections to make sure I was getting the gist of things? How much better would the post be if I didn’t hesitate at it’s instead of its and there instead of they’re? How much intended meaning and power was lost over a lack of subject-verb agreement or commas that might have been better placed?
Tripping, stumbling, and hesitating over misspelled words or ill-placed punctuation is like watching a TV show with a shaky cable signal or trying to talk while a cell phone connection is breaking up—the reader is jostled right out of the story the writer is telling.
If the errors are too big or too many, I’m outta there.
This writer intentionally broke a lot of rules in his 1100-word article, and he broke them well. Sentence fragments clustered together as ideas to ponder, a long list of items without commas that symbolizes repetitive drivel, the same word repeated over and over in a few short sentences to pound in a point. Good stuff and well done, for the most part.Some grammar and punctuation rules can—and should—be broken, when you know what the rules are and how to break them effectively. But the lack of solid proofreading in this piece is like cake without icing, pottery without glaze, or a fine piece of wood in need of a polish. The writer didn’t step back and get his Eagle Eye on.
“Come on,” you chortle. “It’s hard to proofread your own work. And who notices anyway?”
Believe it or not, lots of people notice unless they’re just scanning. And it’s quite possible that many of those scanners might linger on every word you write if typos and bloopers and unintentionally-broken punctuation or grammar rules weren’t making them stumble and wonder and lose their focus.
Typos and errors break up the “voice” that readers are trying to hear as they read your written words.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re a freelancer, a blogger, a student, or anyone who writes for any reason. Most of us don’t have proofreaders or a skilled family member or friend to help us out on a regular basis. And if you’re submitting work to an agent or publisher or a big blog for consideration, why let typos and mistakes clutter and cloud the brilliant work you want them to read?Any time you write something, you want readers to enjoy and appreciate your masterpiece. It’s your baby, an extension of yourself. Take good care of it.
So says Rushang Shah, President of Gramlee.com, an online editing service with editors behind the scenes constantly proofreading and copyediting. Rushang says that “all proofreading and copyediting involves the human element, and that’s why computers cannot replace a proofreader.”Writing and editing is art. Proofreading is science.
Proofreading your own work can be challenging, it’s true. You already know the story, you already have a picture in your mind of what to expect and, as a result, you tend to skim over words and groups of words. Plus, you know your own voice and, even if there are errors in your writing, you don’t “hear” them or see them because you’re in a hurry, and your mind fills in the blanks as you skim over things. You might be daydreaming—even if you’re reading out loud.
If you have a system, though, proofreading can be like doing a quality check on an assembly line. It’s just busy work, really, and not very creative at all. But it’s so important.
Here are some tips to help you get your Eagle Eye on and proofread your own work like a pro.
1. Don’t proofread until you’re completely finished with the actual writing and editing. If you make major changes while proofreading, even if it’s just within sentences, you’re still in an artistic, creative mode, not a science mode.2. Make sure you have no distractions or potential interruptions. Shut down email and social media, hide the cell phone, shut off the TV, radio, or music, and close the door. Print your document if you need to get away from the computer altogether.
3. Forget the content or story. Analyze sentence by sentence; don’t read in your usual way. Focus on spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Work backwards, if that helps, or say the words and sentences out loud. Concentrate.
4. Make several passes for different types of errors. Try checking spelling and end punctuation on one pass, grammar and internal punctuation on another, and links or format on yet another pass. Develop a system.
5. Take notes. If you notice a format issue while checking spelling or if you need to look something up, make a quick note and come back to it so you don’t lose your focus.
6. If you do make a last-minute change to a few words, be sure to check the entire sentence or even paragraph over again. Many errors are the result of changes made without adjusting other, related words.
7. Check facts, dates, quotes, tables, references, text boxes, and anything repetitive or outside of the main text separately. Focus on one element or several related aspects of your writing at a time.
8. Monitor yourself. If you find yourself drifting off and thinking about something else, go back over that section again. Try slapping your hand or tapping a foot in a rhythm as you examine each word and sentence out loud.
9. Get familiar with your frequent mistakes. Even the most expreienced writer mixes up their, they’re, and there or too, two, and to. When I’m tried or writing fast, I right what I here in my mind and just get careless. Not a big deal. That’s what proofreading is for. You caught those errors, didn’t you?
10. Check format last. Every document has format, even an email, whether it’s paragraph spacing, text wrap, indentations, spaces above and below a bullet list or between subheadings and text, and so on. Leave this for the end because contents may shift during handling.
You already know better than to rely on spell-check, so I won’t belabor the point except to say that “wear form he untied stats” doesn’t bother spell-check but it might get an American in trouble at a customs checkpoint.
What if you don’t quite know what you’re looking for while proofreading?
Do you know basic comma rules, how to use a semi-colon, or when to use who or whom? You might have an excellent sense of what things should look like or sound like, especially if you’re an avid reader, but if you don’t know basic grammar and punctuation rules, proofreading might be guesswork, at best, with doubtful results, at worst. Why not make your life easier and your writing better? Take some time to learn basic rules from some online resources I consult when I need help:Grammar Girl: Quick and Dirty Tips
Purdue Online Writing Lab: General Writing Resources
Oxford Dictionaries: Better Writing
GrammarBook.com
You can also download a free copy of The Handy-Dandy Everybody’s Guide to Proofreading over at my blog, Peaceful Planet.
Don’t let mistakes tarnish your work of art, whether it’s a research paper, a blog post, a query letter, or business communication. And remember, proofreading is not the same as writing and editing. It’s not about creativity; it’s a science that needs a system. Follow these tips and create your own system, and you’ll have your Eagle Eye on in no time.
Leah McClellan is a freelance writer, copyeditor, proofreader, gardener, vegetarian, and animal lover who dreams of world peace and writes about communication at Peaceful Planet.
RFTM Chapter 8: Basic News Ledes
The most basic type of lede is called the summary lede. It's a lede that answers at least one or two of the most important questions among the five W's and one H of journalism (who, what, when, where, why and how). Such ledes get straight to the main point of the story. These are the easiest ledes to write, and a default you can always rely upon with any type of story. And this will be the kind of lede I want us to concentrate on as we start this semester.
In deciding what to put in your lede, you need to ask yourself several questions, including:
What is the most important information?
What's the story's central point?
What was said or done about this topic?
What happened, or what action was taken?
What are the most recent developments?
How did things conclude?
Where are things now?
Which facts are most likely to affect or interest readers?
Which facts are most unusual?
What are the facts that a reader absolutely needs to know about this story, if they read just the lede and nothing else?
The structure of a lede should be a single sentence, if possible. So you really do have to drill down to just the essential part of the story in your lede. You can't overload it.
There are several points to consider in writing effective ledes, the first of which is: be concise. Make it easy for the public to read and understand. Avoid being wordy, repetitious, and choppy. Eliminate or delay the use of unnecessary or less necessary background information until later paragraphs.
(The proper length of a lede widely varies between news organization and even between different stories. For the purposes of this class, a lede should be no more than 32 words. That means before writing, you need to make decisions on what information is most important for the lede, and leave out other info until later in the story.)
Be specific. Use interesting details. Offer details that allow readers to visualize events. Avoid cliches.
Use strong, active verbs in the ways we discussed earlier.
Emphasize the magnitude of the story, e.g., note the number of people affected or possibly affected by something (e.g., More than 300 students were hospitalized this week after drinking rotten beer, police said), or the dollar cost or percentage increase or decrease of something (e.g., Tuition will increase 1,000 percent for incoming freshman this fall at Michigan State University), or note any telling statistical measures of what happened (e.g., inches of snowfall in a blizzard, how many feet high was a tsunami wave, the number of cars involved in an accident, ect.).
Stress the unusual, such as deviations from the norm (e.g., A 2-year-old boy who can't yet speak piloted the space shuttle during its launch into space today).
Localize and update. Emphasize your community's role in happenings, whether regional or global (e.g., An MSU student was among three people who stole a hippo from Potter Park Zoo this morning). Emphasize the latest happening or development in a story (e.g., Five more students appeared in court today for their roles in last week's Cedar Fest riot).
Strive for simplicity. Don't overload a lede with too much info. Again,let's keep it to 32 words or less.
Begin with the news, when possible. What I mean is, try to avoid beginning a lede with attribution (the source of information). For example, it's better to lede with, The dog died, police said as opposed to, Police said the dog died, so we can put what happened (the dog died) ahead of who said it (police). The news most often is what happened, not necessarily who said it. But if the source is big enough, then that rule is relaxed (The president said he would okay an invasion of Canada is okay to lede with the source, since the source is making the news by flexing his or her power).
Emphasize the news. Do not necessarily follow chronological order in telling a story. Rarely are the first events in a sequence the most newsworthy. Decide which facts are the most important, interesting, relevant or useful, and write a lede emphasizing those facts, regardless of what occurred first.
(For example, what's most important at a football game; how things started, or how things finished? It's the latter, of course. That's why we lede with who won or lost. Same thing with a city council meeting; the news is what they ended up deciding. That's the material for your lede. Likewise, what's more important: the item the city council first voted on, or the item that most interests or affects residents? It's the latter, so you should lede with the latter.)
Avoid agenda ledes, which are ledes that place too much emphasis on the time and place at which a story occurred. News generally is what happened, why and how moreso than to whom and when.
(For example, in a football story the most important news is who won or lost, and not that a football game was played at a certain time and date. And with a city council story, the most important information is what the council decided, and not that a city council meeting was taking place at a certain time or date.)
Avoid label ledes, which are when you mention a topic but fail to reveal what was said or done. Ledes should report the substance of what happened, and not just the topic. (It's not news that the football team played a game or that the city council had a meeting; it's who won or lost the football game and what the city council ended up deciding to do at the meeting.)
Avoid exaggeration. If a story is weak, it's weak. You're better off doing additional reporting to see if you can find an angle that's more interesting within your topic, than hyping something that just isn't worth the hype.
Avoid misleading readers. Never sensationalize, belittle or mislead. A lede should accurately set the tone for the rest of the story.
Remember your readers. Ledes must be clear, useful, interesting and relevant to be of use to your audience. That's who you're writing to inform. Again, journalism isn't about personal artistic impression; it's about representing the facts in a useful way for your audience to understand.
Rewrite ledes. Writing in and of itself can help focus writing ideas and insights. Don't be afraid to tinker repeatedly with ledes.
(Quite often in my professional career, I would be stuck on writing a lede. What I would often do is start writing the rest of the story, without a lede or with a BS one I knew I'd change. The process of writing the story and laying out facts would often help me crystallize in my mind what the main point of the story was, and once I could articulate a main point, that became my lede.)
Don't be afraid to break some of these rules! Use your imagination. Try to find something different, as long as it is factual and contextually on par with the facts of your story. If it works and best serves the readers in an accurate and contextual way, then it's okay. what we call the start of a news story).
RFTM Chapter 9: Alternative Ledes
What is an alternative lede? It's a lede that is more
creative, contextual and usually much more fun to write. It conveys an
interesting idea or the essence of a story in a unique way. It requires
intelligence, inventiveness and imagination instead of formula writing
(although our approaches still require a devotion to the facts, as
opposed to our feelings and opinions).
There are various types of alternative ledes, which we will look at with all examples being from stories related to the Cedar Fest riots that occasionally take place in East Lansing.Those types of ledes include:
Buried or delayed ledes. These begin with an interesting example or anecdote that sets a story's theme. Then it's followed by a nut graf, which in the case of alternate ledes summarizes the main point that the anecdote is illustrating, and provides a transition to the body of the story. (Nut grafs are a bit different with summary ledes; we'll get into that a bit later.)
Here's an example of a type of buried or delayed lede, which in this case is called a descriptive lede, which offers descriptive details that paint a picture before gradually moving into the action:
Joe Smith was enjoying a beautiful spring night with 4,000 of his classmates, drinking and partying and having a good ol' time.
The air was warm, the beer was cold, and most people were being cool about it all.Then, some people started go get a bit rowdy. A stop sign was torn from the ground. A pair of couches went up in flames.
And that's when the tear gas cannisters began to fly.
Nearly 2,000 students were arrested, and another 2,000 hospitalized after the annual Cedar Fest party degenerated into a riot that required National Guard intervention before being brought under control.
In this example, the lede actually is an anecdote that extends over the first three paragraphs, or grafs. The fourt graf is the nut graf (which, like with most alternative ledes, sounds very much like a summary lede).
The goal here is to emphasize context and humanize the story, before we get into the nitty-gritty.
Question ledes, appropriate when the question is brief, simple, specific and provocative, such as:
Got tear gas?
Nearly 4,000 MSU students were able to answer "yes" to that question after the annual Cedar Fest party degenerated into a riot. leading National Guard troops to fire tear gas cannisters to disperse the crowd.
The first graf is your lede, and the second is your nut graf. This is also an example of a suspenseful lede, where we create suspense or arouse reader curiosity or raise a question in their mind, offering an explanation in the nut graf.
Shockers are ledes with a twist; a startling lede that immediately captures the attention of readers, such as in this alternative lede/nut graf combo:
Drinking is a rite of passage at many colleges. At MSU, that rite comes with tear gas.
For the sixth straight year, the annual Cedar Fest party degenerated into a riot, with National Guard troops once again dispersing the crowd with tear gas cannisters.
Ironic ledes are similar to a shocker, but offer an ironic contrast, like in this lede/nut graf combo:
Joe Smith went to Cedar Fest for the beer. The tear gas was an extra.
The latter came courtesy of National Guard troops, who were dispatched to break up the party after it degenerated into a riot Saturday night.
Words used in usual ways can provide the basis for an alternative lede, like in this lede/nut graf combo:
When Joe Smith headed to Cedar Fest, he figured it would be a gas. It was.
But not in the way he imagined. Tear gas was used by National Guard troops to disperse party-goers after the annual celebration degenerated into a riot Saturday night.
These are just a few possibilities. But there are as many possible ways to do an alternative lede as you can imagine. As long as the method tells the story in the best ways to emphasize what makes a story interesting, relevant and/or useful, and as long as it's based and true to the context and facts of the situation, then it's okay.
Silly stories should be silly. Sad stories should be said. Be true to the facts.
There are various types of alternative ledes, which we will look at with all examples being from stories related to the Cedar Fest riots that occasionally take place in East Lansing.Those types of ledes include:
Buried or delayed ledes. These begin with an interesting example or anecdote that sets a story's theme. Then it's followed by a nut graf, which in the case of alternate ledes summarizes the main point that the anecdote is illustrating, and provides a transition to the body of the story. (Nut grafs are a bit different with summary ledes; we'll get into that a bit later.)
Here's an example of a type of buried or delayed lede, which in this case is called a descriptive lede, which offers descriptive details that paint a picture before gradually moving into the action:
Joe Smith was enjoying a beautiful spring night with 4,000 of his classmates, drinking and partying and having a good ol' time.
The air was warm, the beer was cold, and most people were being cool about it all.Then, some people started go get a bit rowdy. A stop sign was torn from the ground. A pair of couches went up in flames.
And that's when the tear gas cannisters began to fly.
Nearly 2,000 students were arrested, and another 2,000 hospitalized after the annual Cedar Fest party degenerated into a riot that required National Guard intervention before being brought under control.
In this example, the lede actually is an anecdote that extends over the first three paragraphs, or grafs. The fourt graf is the nut graf (which, like with most alternative ledes, sounds very much like a summary lede).
The goal here is to emphasize context and humanize the story, before we get into the nitty-gritty.
Question ledes, appropriate when the question is brief, simple, specific and provocative, such as:
Got tear gas?
Nearly 4,000 MSU students were able to answer "yes" to that question after the annual Cedar Fest party degenerated into a riot. leading National Guard troops to fire tear gas cannisters to disperse the crowd.
The first graf is your lede, and the second is your nut graf. This is also an example of a suspenseful lede, where we create suspense or arouse reader curiosity or raise a question in their mind, offering an explanation in the nut graf.
Shockers are ledes with a twist; a startling lede that immediately captures the attention of readers, such as in this alternative lede/nut graf combo:
Drinking is a rite of passage at many colleges. At MSU, that rite comes with tear gas.
For the sixth straight year, the annual Cedar Fest party degenerated into a riot, with National Guard troops once again dispersing the crowd with tear gas cannisters.
Ironic ledes are similar to a shocker, but offer an ironic contrast, like in this lede/nut graf combo:
Joe Smith went to Cedar Fest for the beer. The tear gas was an extra.
The latter came courtesy of National Guard troops, who were dispatched to break up the party after it degenerated into a riot Saturday night.
Words used in usual ways can provide the basis for an alternative lede, like in this lede/nut graf combo:
When Joe Smith headed to Cedar Fest, he figured it would be a gas. It was.
But not in the way he imagined. Tear gas was used by National Guard troops to disperse party-goers after the annual celebration degenerated into a riot Saturday night.
These are just a few possibilities. But there are as many possible ways to do an alternative lede as you can imagine. As long as the method tells the story in the best ways to emphasize what makes a story interesting, relevant and/or useful, and as long as it's based and true to the context and facts of the situation, then it's okay.
Silly stories should be silly. Sad stories should be said. Be true to the facts.
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