I'm afraid this lede falls short in that regard:
On Wednesday, researchers from the Centers for Disease Control released their results on American marriage based on a study of 50,000 women, providing possible explanation for the high divorce rate in the U.S.
The lede says what took place -- a study -- but it fails to say what the study found. The news isn't that results were released; it's what the results were. The news isn't that the results provide a possible explanation; it's what the explanation is.
With this lede, the reader has no idea what makes this newsworthy. In many ways, this lede is like a football game lede that says ...
On Friday, the MSU football team played Notre Dame.
... which, obviously, we'd never do. The news is who won the game, by how much, ect. A better lede would incorporate those elements, like this:
On Friday, MSU's football team beat Notre Dame, 152-0.
So, we need to do the same thing with our research lede: incorporate the end results. So, instead of saying they released their results on American marriage based on a study of 50,000 women, let's say what some key results of that study were, like, people who are younger, less religious and live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce.
Let's swap out those phrases, and we have a lede like this:
On Wednesday, researchers from the Centers for Disease Control said people who are younger, less religious and live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce, providing possible explanation for the high divorce rate in the U.S.
Now, we have a solid idea of exactly what the study found; not just that there was a study that found something.
Let's make sure our ledes get to that end result and ultimate outcome, just like a sports story would.
On Wednesday, researchers from the Centers for Disease Control released their results on American marriage based on a study of 50,000 women, providing possible explanation for the high divorce rate in the U.S.
The lede says what took place -- a study -- but it fails to say what the study found. The news isn't that results were released; it's what the results were. The news isn't that the results provide a possible explanation; it's what the explanation is.
With this lede, the reader has no idea what makes this newsworthy. In many ways, this lede is like a football game lede that says ...
On Friday, the MSU football team played Notre Dame.
... which, obviously, we'd never do. The news is who won the game, by how much, ect. A better lede would incorporate those elements, like this:
On Friday, MSU's football team beat Notre Dame, 152-0.
So, we need to do the same thing with our research lede: incorporate the end results. So, instead of saying they released their results on American marriage based on a study of 50,000 women, let's say what some key results of that study were, like, people who are younger, less religious and live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce.
Let's swap out those phrases, and we have a lede like this:
On Wednesday, researchers from the Centers for Disease Control said people who are younger, less religious and live together before marriage are at greater risk for divorce, providing possible explanation for the high divorce rate in the U.S.
Now, we have a solid idea of exactly what the study found; not just that there was a study that found something.
Let's make sure our ledes get to that end result and ultimate outcome, just like a sports story would.
No comments:
Post a Comment