Like in this lede:
There are many fears that go through a bride's mind before their wedding. For Sara Howard, she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church.
Now, it's structurally fine. But the question I have is, how do you know she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church?
In the information you were given, you have no indication whether she wasn't worried, or that her fiancee was a shitty driver who had her constantly terrified with his lead foot.
Here, we went beyond the information you had, and made an assumption. We were being creative based on our guessing, not the facts. And we can't do that.
Now, as a journalist you would have been correct to find out if she ever though she'd have to worry about her fiancee's driving. And if she answered yes, then this lede would be perfect.
But we need to confirm the facts first.
There are many fears that go through a bride's mind before their wedding. For Sara Howard, she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church.
Now, it's structurally fine. But the question I have is, how do you know she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church?
In the information you were given, you have no indication whether she wasn't worried, or that her fiancee was a shitty driver who had her constantly terrified with his lead foot.
Here, we went beyond the information you had, and made an assumption. We were being creative based on our guessing, not the facts. And we can't do that.
Now, as a journalist you would have been correct to find out if she ever though she'd have to worry about her fiancee's driving. And if she answered yes, then this lede would be perfect.
But we need to confirm the facts first.
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