Thursday, January 30, 2014

More Ledes: Be Specific

Here's the lede:

A convenience store robbery Wednesday afternoon sent city police on a massive hunt for the armed robber in a stolen vehicle — and the 6-month-old still in the backseat.

Here's the problem: in the back seat was a 6-month-old what?

A dog? A sandwich? A gallon of milk?

It's a girl. We know that. But your readers don't, at least not yet.

When a reader approaches a lede,  we need to remember that they know absolutely nothing about the story they are about to be told. That's why people come to news organizations; to find out what they don't know.

So, we can't assume that the reader knows anything. We have to be on-point and clear. We can't just say a 6-month-old; we need to say it was a 6-month-old girl.

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