Overall, nice work on the graded ledes exercise. Plus, for the first time you're getting very
specific evaluations in numerical form. That's called a grade.
From the syllabus, here's a roundup of what the funny numbers cited in your returned work means:
4.0:
Story could be published virtually as is. It shows superior command of
the facts, news judgment, story organization, reporting and writing.
3.5:
Could be published with very minor revisions. Generally well-written,
accurate copy containing all relevant material, but requires minor
editing for maximum precision and clarity.
3.0: Better-than-average story. The story was handled well. Copy needs some rewriting and polishing before it could be published.
2.5:
A little above average. The story might have a significant problem
with reporting, organization, completeness, ect. Certainly needs
rewriting.
2.0:
Average job. Not a story most readers would read unless they really
needed the information. The story may have reporting, organization or
writing problems.
1.5:
A weak story. The story may have a buried lede, problems in news
interpretation, problems in story organization, omission of some
important fact or source. The story needs substantial revision.
1.0:
A non-story. The story lacks news judgment, displays major flaws in
reporting and writing, omits important facts. The story needs
substantial rethinking. Also, a story with any fact error automatically gets this grade.
0.0:
Story is late or failed to receive instructor's approval. Story is
misleading or unethical. Organization of writing flaws make the story
incoherent.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
More Ledes: Ledes I Liked
Everyone did at least fine on this assignment, some by sticking to basic ledes, and others by trying alternative ledes.
Here's some basic ones:
... and ...
Next up, let's look at some alternate ledes. Off we go:
Arrested? Prepare for a mug shot, fingerprints, and a $25 service charge.
It's basic and to-the-point, yet still a bit creative in terms of the question lede. It makes it sound a bit more conversational. So did this one:
In an attempt to cure East Lansing's financial troubles, committing a crime now costs offenders more than the humiliation of an arrest.
These next two one looked at the topic from a similarly-practical angle; what you may see as a result of the news:
Lions, elephants and giraffes may soon be found roaming a lot closer to home, as ecologists and biologists want to transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.
... and ...
While driving across the Great Plains of North America, how would you feel about looking out the car window and seeing giraffes, lions and elephants?
Here, someone took a secondary angle and highlighted it; the angle being, what would the move mean to those affected?
This next one had a bit of fun with word play:
A wild idea proposed for a transplant of African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America by Michigan State University scientists is stirring up controversy across the country.
These next two went straight to context:
What could have been the happiest day of Scott Forsythe's life turned fatal after he was killed in a car accident driving 100 mph on the way to his own wedding.
... and ...
Just 15 minutes before 22-year-old Scott Forsythe was scheduled to say "I do," a decision to save a dog's life took his own.
... and ...
This next one very nicely went to end result and ultimate outcome:
A 6-month-old girl was left unharmed in her parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday.
I liked these next two, too, that were centered on context:
This next one bridged the basic facts AND context:
Now, which ones do you like, and why? Which ones don't you like, and how come?
Here's some basic ones:
The East Lansing
Police Department will charge arrested persons $25 for mug shots and fingerprints to offset
expenses, city officials announced today.
Scott
Forsythe, 22, was killed this morning in a car accident on Kirkmann Road, just 15 minutes before he was to be married.
... and ...
... and ...
A group of Michigan State
scientists have come up with a possible plan to transplant African wildlife in
danger of extinction to the Great Plains of North America.
... and ...
A six-month-old girl was left unharmed in her
parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe
convenience store Wednesday.
Next up, let's look at some alternate ledes. Off we go:
Arrested? Prepare for a mug shot, fingerprints, and a $25 service charge.
It's basic and to-the-point, yet still a bit creative in terms of the question lede. It makes it sound a bit more conversational. So did this one:
In an attempt to cure East Lansing's financial troubles, committing a crime now costs offenders more than the humiliation of an arrest.
These next two one looked at the topic from a similarly-practical angle; what you may see as a result of the news:
Lions, elephants and giraffes may soon be found roaming a lot closer to home, as ecologists and biologists want to transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.
... and ...
While driving across the Great Plains of North America, how would you feel about looking out the car window and seeing giraffes, lions and elephants?
Here, someone took a secondary angle and highlighted it; the angle being, what would the move mean to those affected?
A new idea from Michigan State
University scientists has Jim Smithson, a rancher in North Dakota, worried that
his cows may be slaughtered by a possible new threat: lions.
This next one had a bit of fun with word play:
A wild idea proposed for a transplant of African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America by Michigan State University scientists is stirring up controversy across the country.
These next two went straight to context:
What could have been the happiest day of Scott Forsythe's life turned fatal after he was killed in a car accident driving 100 mph on the way to his own wedding.
... and ...
Just 15 minutes before 22-year-old Scott Forsythe was scheduled to say "I do," a decision to save a dog's life took his own.
... and ...
Scott
Forsythe was to be wed at 9 a.m.
At 8:45 a.m., half
a mile from the church where his bride-to-be waited at the altar, Forsythe
crashed into two trees and a fence at 100 mph.
Now, instead of a honeymoon,
his bride will attend a funeral.
This next one very nicely went to end result and ultimate outcome:
A 6-month-old girl was left unharmed in her parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday.
I liked these next two, too, that were centered on context:
Could you imagine a routine gas station visit
turning into a search for your missing 6-month old baby? For Ethel Perakiss on Wednesday afternoon, this was a reality.
...and ...
...and ...
When Ethel Perakiss’ car pulled up to the Quik Shoppe
convenience store Wednesday afternoon, her six-month-old daughter was in the
back seat.
When the car pulled away from the
store, her baby was still in the back, but a stranger with stolen money and a
handgun was at the wheel.
This next one bridged the basic facts AND context:
A Michigan
Avenue Quick Shoppe robber fled the scene Wednesday with money, a stolen car,
and to his surprise, a baby.
Now, which ones do you like, and why? Which ones don't you like, and how come?
More Ledes: Fatals
Sorry to say we've had more fatals. Here's what we did that we shouldn't have done:
PROBLEM: In one instance, we spelled the first name of police chief Barry Kopperrud as Berry, like the fruit. Since Berry is not his first name, this is a fatal. And spell check wouldn't have caught it, since Berry is spelled correctly. Problem is, it's the wrong word.
SOLUTION: In addition to running spell check, check each name, title, number, address, and fact for accuracy. Double-check spellings of names with your eyes against your notes.
PROBLEM: In one instance, we spelled the first name of police chief Barry Kopperrud as Berry, like the fruit. Since Berry is not his first name, this is a fatal. And spell check wouldn't have caught it, since Berry is spelled correctly. Problem is, it's the wrong word.
SOLUTION: In addition to running spell check, check each name, title, number, address, and fact for accuracy. Double-check spellings of names with your eyes against your notes.
More Ledes: Deadlines Can Be Deadly
On the homework portion of this exercise, one person missed their deadline by more than an hour. Even worse, a few people didn't turn anything in at all.
And that gets those folks a zero -- yes, an even-0worse grade than a simple fact error.
That's because the worst thing we can do in journalism -- even worse than getting a fatal -- is to miss a deadline.
A newspaper can't go to print with blank spots in the pages, and a 30-minute newscast can't to to air without content that fills up all 30 minutes.
(And if you're working for the 11 o'clock news, a script isn't of much help after midnight -- or even at a few minutes after 11.)
That means in the media business, you can never miss a deadline.
In journalism, turning in something, anything that meets the minimum standard is critical. You can produce an absolute piece of crap and as long as it's turned in, an editor can still work with it and make it acceptable to use on air or online or in print by his or her deadline.
An editor can't work with nothing. And someone who turns in nothing won't have a job for very long. Trust me, once I saw someone totally brain-freeze and fail to file anything on deadline on a college basketball game once. And it did happen just once, because the boss told her not to bother coming back to the newsroom; she'd have her final paycheck mailed to her, and she should just have her laptop shipped to work in the same way.
It's that serious. We have to start building good habits now. The penalty for you is a shitty grade, which stings. But I'd rather have you learn a painful lesson now, when the consequence is just a bruised ego. Not an ended career.
And that gets those folks a zero -- yes, an even-0worse grade than a simple fact error.
That's because the worst thing we can do in journalism -- even worse than getting a fatal -- is to miss a deadline.
A newspaper can't go to print with blank spots in the pages, and a 30-minute newscast can't to to air without content that fills up all 30 minutes.
(And if you're working for the 11 o'clock news, a script isn't of much help after midnight -- or even at a few minutes after 11.)
That means in the media business, you can never miss a deadline.
In journalism, turning in something, anything that meets the minimum standard is critical. You can produce an absolute piece of crap and as long as it's turned in, an editor can still work with it and make it acceptable to use on air or online or in print by his or her deadline.
An editor can't work with nothing. And someone who turns in nothing won't have a job for very long. Trust me, once I saw someone totally brain-freeze and fail to file anything on deadline on a college basketball game once. And it did happen just once, because the boss told her not to bother coming back to the newsroom; she'd have her final paycheck mailed to her, and she should just have her laptop shipped to work in the same way.
It's that serious. We have to start building good habits now. The penalty for you is a shitty grade, which stings. But I'd rather have you learn a painful lesson now, when the consequence is just a bruised ego. Not an ended career.
More Ledes: Don't Make Shit Up
Here's a very nicely-structured alternate lede sequence:
Michigan State student Allyson Flak spent thousands of
dollars to visit South Africa and see the wildlife. Now, the animals might be shipped to her home
continent.
A group of
ecologists and biologists at Michigan State University and other schools are proposing
to transplant wildlife from Africa to the Great Plains of North America.
Problem is, we weren't given any information regarding an Allyson Flak. If this were a real story situation, we would certainly be encouraged to go and try to find a person like Allyson who could offer an anecdote which we could use for a lede.
But in the practice story setting, we need to use the information we had. We cannot simply make something up to plug a hole in our story.
I know it might seem inconsistent that I'm critical of using made-up information in a story for which you are provided made-up information. But the point I want to try and highlight is, we don't make things up in journalism. Even if I want that point reinforced in a made-up story.
More Ledes: Don't Assume
Like in this lede:
There are many fears that go through a bride's mind before their wedding. For Sara Howard, she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church.
Now, it's structurally fine. But the question I have is, how do you know she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church?
In the information you were given, you have no indication whether she wasn't worried, or that her fiancee was a shitty driver who had her constantly terrified with his lead foot.
Here, we went beyond the information you had, and made an assumption. We were being creative based on our guessing, not the facts. And we can't do that.
Now, as a journalist you would have been correct to find out if she ever though she'd have to worry about her fiancee's driving. And if she answered yes, then this lede would be perfect.
But we need to confirm the facts first.
There are many fears that go through a bride's mind before their wedding. For Sara Howard, she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church.
Now, it's structurally fine. But the question I have is, how do you know she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church?
In the information you were given, you have no indication whether she wasn't worried, or that her fiancee was a shitty driver who had her constantly terrified with his lead foot.
Here, we went beyond the information you had, and made an assumption. We were being creative based on our guessing, not the facts. And we can't do that.
Now, as a journalist you would have been correct to find out if she ever though she'd have to worry about her fiancee's driving. And if she answered yes, then this lede would be perfect.
But we need to confirm the facts first.
More Ledes: The Peanut Barrel Rule
There's nothing wrong with this lede. But it's still missing something. Here it is:
A 22-year-old man was killed in a car accident earlier this morning after veering to avoid a dog in the road, according to police.
Technically, it's correct. But let's consider something I call the Peanut Barrel rule.
Here it is: Let's say you work at The State News, and one night you wrote this story for The State News and then headed down to the Peanut Barrel to meet friends who DON'T work at The State News and who don't particularly give a shit about journalism for a legal drink or two afterward.
So, you're there with your non-journo pals and then they asked you what you wrote about today. What would you say? More importantly, what would be first to come out of your mouth?
"Uh, well I wrote something abut a dude who got killed when he swerved his car to miss a doggie in the road."
I don't think so. What I think you'd say would be something like this:
"Dude, this was so effed up I don't believe it! Some guy was driving his car all crazy fast so he could make it to his wedding, but he CRASHED and DIED! On his WEDDING DAY! Soo effed up."
I really do think you'd certainly include the wedding angle. That's what made this crash unique and especially poignant and tragic.
If it's a fact or angle that would pass the Peanut Barrel test, then it's a good fact or angle for a lede. If your proposed lede doesn't pass Peanut Barrel muster, then try again until it does.
Obviously, you need to clean it up a bit for print. But the basics would remain the same: A 22-year-old man speeding at 100 mph crashed his car and died, just 10 minutes before his wedding was to begin.
Again, I can't say your lede was incorrect. Clearly, it passes factual muster. But is it really complete? No. It misses context, like calling 9/11 just a plane crash.
A 22-year-old man was killed in a car accident earlier this morning after veering to avoid a dog in the road, according to police.
Technically, it's correct. But let's consider something I call the Peanut Barrel rule.
Here it is: Let's say you work at The State News, and one night you wrote this story for The State News and then headed down to the Peanut Barrel to meet friends who DON'T work at The State News and who don't particularly give a shit about journalism for a legal drink or two afterward.
So, you're there with your non-journo pals and then they asked you what you wrote about today. What would you say? More importantly, what would be first to come out of your mouth?
"Uh, well I wrote something abut a dude who got killed when he swerved his car to miss a doggie in the road."
I don't think so. What I think you'd say would be something like this:
"Dude, this was so effed up I don't believe it! Some guy was driving his car all crazy fast so he could make it to his wedding, but he CRASHED and DIED! On his WEDDING DAY! Soo effed up."
I really do think you'd certainly include the wedding angle. That's what made this crash unique and especially poignant and tragic.
If it's a fact or angle that would pass the Peanut Barrel test, then it's a good fact or angle for a lede. If your proposed lede doesn't pass Peanut Barrel muster, then try again until it does.
Obviously, you need to clean it up a bit for print. But the basics would remain the same: A 22-year-old man speeding at 100 mph crashed his car and died, just 10 minutes before his wedding was to begin.
Again, I can't say your lede was incorrect. Clearly, it passes factual muster. But is it really complete? No. It misses context, like calling 9/11 just a plane crash.
More Ledes: Alternate Ledes/Nut Grafs
In this exercise, you were asked to do just a lede, with no
subsequent paragraph. But some of you did ledes that in essence acted as
a combination alternate lede/subsequent nut graf, combined into a
single graf.
What I did was split some of these ledes as follows, so you can see a concept at work: the nut graf.
A nut graf is the paragraph after the lede, and it usually answers critical questions created by the lede. With a standard lede, the nut graf usually fills in more specific details; for example, where a lede may refer to a victim as a 22-year-old local man, the nut graf will specify his name: Scott Forsythe. Very soon, we will get into greater detail on how to structure a nut graf with a conventional lede.
But when we do a nut graf with a unique and contextual alternate lede, it is usually followed by a nut graf that sounds more like a traditional lede that fills in the specific blanks left by your general contextual lede, and offers a strong transition to the body of the story.
Let's look at a few examples:
Freedom might not be free, but neither is detainment.
Police chief Barry Kopperrud is proposing cost cuts for the city, starting with a $25 service fee for incoming criminals.
The lede nicely sets context, then the nut graf explains the details behind the context.
Next:
It looks like someone's been thinking on the wild side!
A group of scientists are interested in a project that would transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.
The lede has fun with an odd concept, that of bringing Africa to America. So you reveled in the fun in the lede, then explained what was so unique in the nut graf.
Then, there's this:
Typically, 'til death do us part doesn't apply until after the wedding.
Scott Forsythe, 22, died in a high-speed accident around 8:45 this morning on Kirkmann Road after veering to avoid a dog. Forsythe was less than a mile away from the church where he was to be married today.
Certainly, the lede is creative, contextual and accurate. But let me ask you guys this: is it a bit too flippant and casual in noting the irony? Let's discuss.
Now, this is how you use a nut graf with an alternate lede. But it's a bit different with standard ledes. We'll get into that difference soon.
What I did was split some of these ledes as follows, so you can see a concept at work: the nut graf.
A nut graf is the paragraph after the lede, and it usually answers critical questions created by the lede. With a standard lede, the nut graf usually fills in more specific details; for example, where a lede may refer to a victim as a 22-year-old local man, the nut graf will specify his name: Scott Forsythe. Very soon, we will get into greater detail on how to structure a nut graf with a conventional lede.
But when we do a nut graf with a unique and contextual alternate lede, it is usually followed by a nut graf that sounds more like a traditional lede that fills in the specific blanks left by your general contextual lede, and offers a strong transition to the body of the story.
Let's look at a few examples:
Freedom might not be free, but neither is detainment.
Police chief Barry Kopperrud is proposing cost cuts for the city, starting with a $25 service fee for incoming criminals.
The lede nicely sets context, then the nut graf explains the details behind the context.
Next:
It looks like someone's been thinking on the wild side!
A group of scientists are interested in a project that would transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.
The lede has fun with an odd concept, that of bringing Africa to America. So you reveled in the fun in the lede, then explained what was so unique in the nut graf.
Then, there's this:
Typically, 'til death do us part doesn't apply until after the wedding.
Scott Forsythe, 22, died in a high-speed accident around 8:45 this morning on Kirkmann Road after veering to avoid a dog. Forsythe was less than a mile away from the church where he was to be married today.
Certainly, the lede is creative, contextual and accurate. But let me ask you guys this: is it a bit too flippant and casual in noting the irony? Let's discuss.
Now, this is how you use a nut graf with an alternate lede. But it's a bit different with standard ledes. We'll get into that difference soon.
More Ledes: Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say, Part 1
To save the life of a dog, 22-year-old Scott Forsythe lost his life in a car crash just 15 minutes before his wedding this morning.
If you read this lede literally, it's this: you're saying this man died 15 minutes before his wedding. You're suggesting his wedding took place (all "Weekend at Bernie's"-style, perhaps).
But that's not what you meant. What you meant was, he died 15 minutes before his wedding was to take place this morning.
If that's what you meant, then that's what you should have written.
Make sure you say what you mean, and mean what you say. Don't leave room for any misinterpretations. Be precise.
More Ledes: Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say, Part 2
Let's look at this lede:
A $25 mug shot and fingerprint fee will now be charged to those arrested in East Lansing to aid financial crisis, according to city officials.
Um, the fee is aiding the crisis?
I think what we meant to say was the fee would aid city finances, or battle the financial crisis. But what we said is it would aid the crisis. It would help make things worse.
Let's be sure we say what we mean to say.
A $25 mug shot and fingerprint fee will now be charged to those arrested in East Lansing to aid financial crisis, according to city officials.
Um, the fee is aiding the crisis?
I think what we meant to say was the fee would aid city finances, or battle the financial crisis. But what we said is it would aid the crisis. It would help make things worse.
Let's be sure we say what we mean to say.
More Ledes: The 5 W's
You
may have heard of the 5 W's -- who, what, when, where, why and a non-w:
how -- that are central to good journalism. It's important that we
identify the most critical of those W's, and include them in our ledes.
Let's look at one lede:
Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed en route on his way to his wedding. Forsythe lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of the street.
Now, let's identify the W's
Who = Scott Forsythe, 22
What = he died while on his way to the wedding
Why = lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog
Where = the middle of the street, but we don't say which one
When = ????
How = see what, why
So, we're missing two of the W's (one is totally off the radar, and the other is unclear). When was critical, at least in its most basic form, such as saying, today. (You could include a specific time later in the story). News is something new, so the date would indicate the newness.
Where is also pretty important. Something that happens near where I live and work is probably a bigger deal than something faraway. So an approximate placement (e.g., along Kirkmann Road) would help, as opposed to just saying the middle of the street, which can be anywhere.
Let's add those in the lede (and merge the sentences into one):
Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed en route to his wedding today after losing control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of Kirkmann Road.
Now, our bases are covered. And still at 30 words, and one sentence!
Let's look at one lede:
Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed en route on his way to his wedding. Forsythe lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of the street.
Now, let's identify the W's
Who = Scott Forsythe, 22
What = he died while on his way to the wedding
Why = lost control of his car trying to avoid a dog
Where = the middle of the street, but we don't say which one
When = ????
How = see what, why
So, we're missing two of the W's (one is totally off the radar, and the other is unclear). When was critical, at least in its most basic form, such as saying, today. (You could include a specific time later in the story). News is something new, so the date would indicate the newness.
Where is also pretty important. Something that happens near where I live and work is probably a bigger deal than something faraway. So an approximate placement (e.g., along Kirkmann Road) would help, as opposed to just saying the middle of the street, which can be anywhere.
Let's add those in the lede (and merge the sentences into one):
Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed en route to his wedding today after losing control of his car trying to avoid a dog that walked in the middle of Kirkmann Road.
Now, our bases are covered. And still at 30 words, and one sentence!
More Ledes: Be Specific
Here's the lede:
A convenience store robbery Wednesday afternoon sent city police on a massive
hunt for the armed robber in a stolen vehicle — and the 6-month-old still in the backseat.
Here's the problem: in the back seat was a 6-month-old what?
A dog? A sandwich? A gallon of milk?
It's a girl. We know that. But your readers don't, at least not yet.
When
a reader approaches a lede, we need to remember that they know
absolutely nothing about the story they are about to be told. That's why
people come to news organizations; to find out what they don't know.
So,
we can't assume that the reader knows anything. We have to be on-point
and clear. We can't just say a 6-month-old; we need to say it was a
6-month-old girl.
More Ledes: Consider Inclusive Words
Many of you in the animals lede referred to ecologists and biologists. A couple of you simply referred to scientists.
And why not? Ecologists and biologists are scientists. It's simpler and doesn't result in any lost meaning to your readers.
If you have the opportunity to group specifics under a single umbrella term, consider that course of action.
And why not? Ecologists and biologists are scientists. It's simpler and doesn't result in any lost meaning to your readers.
If you have the opportunity to group specifics under a single umbrella term, consider that course of action.
More Ledes: Grammatical Articles
A reminder: don't forget to use grammatical articles in sentences, like a, and, and the.
Make sure your sentences are complete sentences. If you're not sure,
read your sentences out loud. If you sound like a robot -- police kill man in house -- then you probably need to add some articles like this -- police killed a man in a house.
More Ledes: Did You Need The Name?
In your ledes, some of you referred to the car accident victim
specifically -- Scott Forsythe -- while others referred to him in the
generic -- 22-year-old local man, or something to that effect.
While
neither is wrong, I'd say the latter is the best approach. You have no
reason to believe Forsythe is someone that would be known by name to
your readers. In such cases, the generic identifier would suffice in a
first reference, and you can offer the specific name as a secondary
detail later in the story.
(Remember, in a real situation you would have the rest of the story to fill in specific details and secondary information!)
(Remember, in a real situation you would have the rest of the story to fill in specific details and secondary information!)
Now,
if the victim was Oprah Winfrey, the name would be a good bet for the
lede, precisely because she is someone many people would instantly
recognize by name.
More Ledes: Writing With (AP) Style
In this assignment you weren't asked to write conforming to AP style.
And on this one I won't grade you on that basis. Still, we're going to
use this opportunity to start picking up some of the more common AP
style points.
Like with how to refer to money. Is it $25 with the dollar symbol ahead of the amount or 25 dollars, with dollars spelled out?
It's the former. This is what I pulled from the AP Stylebook, under dollars: "Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure."Number usage has its own specific style under AP rules. Here's the most basic AP guideline, in your style book under numerals: In general "Spell out whole numbers below 10, use figures for 10 and above."
So two should be two, not 2. And 10 should be 10, not ten.
So then, is this correct to start a sentence, under AP Style rules, by spelling out a number like this?
Twenty-two . . .
Actually, that IS correct number use. This is under the numerals heading:
Spell out a numeral at the beginning of a sentence.
Also, Is it 6 month-old with a hyphen between month and old or 6-month-old with hyphens between everything or 6 month old with no hyphens at all? AP Style under ages: Use hyphens for ages expressed as adjectives before a noun or as substitutes for a noun.
So it's 6-month-old, with hyphens between the 6 and month, and between month and old.
Also, please note it is NOT six-month-old girl with six spelled out,; rather, the six is in numeric form, like this: 6-month-old girl.
It's another exception to the general AP number rule. In AP Style under ages:
Always use figures.
Moving on, let's talk about names. On first reference, you use a first and last name: Megan Perakiss. But what do you do on a second and subsequent references?
Here is AP Style, under names:
In general, use only last names on second reference.
But what if there is more than one person with the same last name? AP Style has that covered, too. Also under names:
When it is necessary to distinguish between two people who use the same last name, as in married couples or brothers and sisters, use the first and last name.
So in the case of any member of the Perakiss family -- who has the same last name -- it would be first and last names in all references, if more than one Perakiss is referred to in the story. If there's only one Perakiss in the story, it would simply be Perakiss in all references after the first.
Either way, try not to use just a first name on any reference.
FYI, this may be a good time to start an AP Style cheat sheet, where you write down and keep track of some of the more common AP Style rules cited in blog posts. There's also another way to have a quick-look AP Style cheat sheet: simply click on "ap style" under "labels" at the bottom of this blog, and EVERY AP STYLE POST WE'VE DONE SOFAR will appear!
Like with how to refer to money. Is it $25 with the dollar symbol ahead of the amount or 25 dollars, with dollars spelled out?
It's the former. This is what I pulled from the AP Stylebook, under dollars: "Use figures and the $ sign in all except casual references or amounts without a figure."Number usage has its own specific style under AP rules. Here's the most basic AP guideline, in your style book under numerals: In general "Spell out whole numbers below 10, use figures for 10 and above."
So two should be two, not 2. And 10 should be 10, not ten.
So then, is this correct to start a sentence, under AP Style rules, by spelling out a number like this?
Twenty-two . . .
Actually, that IS correct number use. This is under the numerals heading:
Spell out a numeral at the beginning of a sentence.
Also, Is it 6 month-old with a hyphen between month and old or 6-month-old with hyphens between everything or 6 month old with no hyphens at all? AP Style under ages: Use hyphens for ages expressed as adjectives before a noun or as substitutes for a noun.
So it's 6-month-old, with hyphens between the 6 and month, and between month and old.
Also, please note it is NOT six-month-old girl with six spelled out,; rather, the six is in numeric form, like this: 6-month-old girl.
It's another exception to the general AP number rule. In AP Style under ages:
Always use figures.
Moving on, let's talk about names. On first reference, you use a first and last name: Megan Perakiss. But what do you do on a second and subsequent references?
Here is AP Style, under names:
In general, use only last names on second reference.
But what if there is more than one person with the same last name? AP Style has that covered, too. Also under names:
When it is necessary to distinguish between two people who use the same last name, as in married couples or brothers and sisters, use the first and last name.
So in the case of any member of the Perakiss family -- who has the same last name -- it would be first and last names in all references, if more than one Perakiss is referred to in the story. If there's only one Perakiss in the story, it would simply be Perakiss in all references after the first.
Either way, try not to use just a first name on any reference.
FYI, this may be a good time to start an AP Style cheat sheet, where you write down and keep track of some of the more common AP Style rules cited in blog posts. There's also another way to have a quick-look AP Style cheat sheet: simply click on "ap style" under "labels" at the bottom of this blog, and EVERY AP STYLE POST WE'VE DONE SOFAR will appear!
Monday, January 27, 2014
First Ledes: Overall
On
this assignment, since it's the first one I gave you a 4.0 simply for
finishing the assignment without any fatal fact errors, as defined by
the syllabus. (If you did have a fatal, you were penalized 1.0 per
fataled item.) And you weren't graded for AP Style rules, though I did note them in your returned graded work (in which my comments were inserted in BOLD FACE/CAPS).
In future assignments, we will actually grade every item. But for this first one, I wanted you all to get used to writing on deadline, and for us to have some blog material to go over to see what we did well (and why it was good), and what we could have done better (and how).
Off we go, then:
In future assignments, we will actually grade every item. But for this first one, I wanted you all to get used to writing on deadline, and for us to have some blog material to go over to see what we did well (and why it was good), and what we could have done better (and how).
Off we go, then:
First Ledes: Ledes I Liked
This one was straight and to-the-point, containing who (two children), what (died), when (Saturday night), where (in a bedroom of their home), why (as a result of a fire) and how (caused by matches the children were playing with).
Two young children died Saturday night in a bedroom of their home as a result of a fire caused by matches the children were playing with.
This one did the same, but specified the names of the children:
Krista and Jeremy Lewis were found dead after a fire consumed their bedroom while a babysitter cared for them Saturday evening.
This one did a nice job of emphasizing a telling point from the larger story:
Women who have achieved a graduate degree are found to get divorced more frequently than women without higher education, according to a study done by sociologists at the University of Florida.
This one, too:
Marital disruption is more likely among highly educated
women, researchers said in a new study released on Monday.
This lede said everything people needed to know about this story, without having to read any further. The rest was just detailing the major points already offered by the lede:
A family of three was taken to the hospital after their car was struck by an oncoming train on Monday night, but no one was seriously injured.
This next lede emphasized end result not in terms of what, but why and how:
A failure to have warning lights at a train crossing on Michigan Avenue resulted in a vehicle carrying a family of three getting struck by an eastbound train.
This lede did the same, with an emphasis on why:
County Treasurer Vernon Sindelair pleaded guilty Wednesday to the embezzlement of $1.7 million in tax receipts to pay for his deceased wife’s medical bills, police investigators said.
With ledes, we try to go to end result and ultimate outcome; that is, how did things end up? But if the story is still ongoing, we can instead focus on what's next, like here:
County Treasurer Vernon Sindelair will face up to 30 years in prison and over $1.5 million dollars in fines after pleading guilty Wednesday to embezzlement charges.
Here's a nice 1-2-3-4 package by one of youze, which nicely go to end result, ultimate outcome and a summary of what people absolutely need to know about what happened, and how it all ended up:
1. A car crashed into a moving
train on Monday, causing minor injuries to a family of three.
4. Highly-educated married women are more likely to end up
separated or divorced, according to a recent study conducted by the University
of Florida.
5. Two local children started the
fire that claimed their lives Saturday evening, according to the East Lansing
Fire Department.
6. The county
treasurer pleaded guilty to embezzlement charges Wednesday morning and now
faces up to 30 years in prison and fines exceeding $1.5 million.
First Ledes: The News Is The News!
News isn't that someone did something or something happened; it's what, exactly, was done and/or happened.
For example, we'd never write a lede about a football game like this ...
The Spartans played Notre Dame in a football game Saturday.
... because that lede doesn't say anything of substance. That's because the news isn't that a game was played; it's who won or lost.
The lede we'd do would be something like this:
The Spartans walloped Notre Dame 107-0 Saturday.
Keeping that in mind, does this lede work?
A research study conducted by sociologists at the University of Florida revealed new information Monday regarding marriage stability in relation to women’s education level.
I'd argue it does not, because while it tells us there's new information, it doesn't tell us what the new information is. A better lede tells us what happened, like this one:
Marital disruption is more likely among highly educated women, researchers said in a new study released on Monday.
Now, the reader doesn't simply know that researchers discovered something; they know what the something is.
For example, we'd never write a lede about a football game like this ...
The Spartans played Notre Dame in a football game Saturday.
... because that lede doesn't say anything of substance. That's because the news isn't that a game was played; it's who won or lost.
The lede we'd do would be something like this:
The Spartans walloped Notre Dame 107-0 Saturday.
Keeping that in mind, does this lede work?
A research study conducted by sociologists at the University of Florida revealed new information Monday regarding marriage stability in relation to women’s education level.
I'd argue it does not, because while it tells us there's new information, it doesn't tell us what the new information is. A better lede tells us what happened, like this one:
Marital disruption is more likely among highly educated women, researchers said in a new study released on Monday.
Now, the reader doesn't simply know that researchers discovered something; they know what the something is.
First Ledes: That Didn't Take Long
I'm sorry to say that with this assignment we had our first fatal fact errors, in which we offered inaccurate facts as defined by the syllabus.
And, in the interest of learning from each other this term, we will review each and every fatal so (hopefully) we can learn from the mistakes of others -- and avoid such mistakes ourselves, going forward.
In one case, we spelled the name of the city as East Lasing, when in fact it was East Lansing.
Yes, that's a fatal. And yes, the vast majority of fatals are something simple and basic that was overlooked. I know that's not what you intended to write, but that's what you did write. And it's wrong.
In a second case, we said the house fire was in Lansing, when in fact it was in East Lansing.
In another case, we wrote that a study looked at marriage distribution, when in fact it looked at marriage disruption. That, too, is a fatal, since distribution is not what the study considered.
(And this is an example of where spell check wouldn't have caught the mistake, because the unintended word is correctly spelled. This is why we need to use spell check as a supplement to -- but not a substitute for -- checking your story fact-by-fact with your own eyes, and checking against your notes -- or, in this case, against the information in your text.)
In yet another instance, we said a fire took place last night. In fact, it was Saturday night. We also said the fire took place in an apartment complex when the information we had said it occurred in a house.
In one case, we said Vernon Sindelair was the city treasurer, when in fact he was the county treasurer. In another case, we said he was the U.S. treasurer, apparently in belief he was the country's treasurer.
We get this idea that fatals are a HUGE error, but the reality is overwhelmingly fatals are simple mistakes. Like forgetting a word. That's why we urge such stringent fact-checking.
So please, be vigilant. After you finish writing be sure to double-check every name and age and title and date and, yes, city spellings.
Now, with this assignment you were dinged 1.0 for any one component of the assignment with a fatal. But in future assignments, one fatal means a 1.0 on the entire assignment, period.
Seriously, it's that serious. Like I've said, journalism isn't about writing; it's about getting it right. Let's make sure we build good fact-checking habits so this is a rare circumstance.
And, in the interest of learning from each other this term, we will review each and every fatal so (hopefully) we can learn from the mistakes of others -- and avoid such mistakes ourselves, going forward.
In one case, we spelled the name of the city as East Lasing, when in fact it was East Lansing.
Yes, that's a fatal. And yes, the vast majority of fatals are something simple and basic that was overlooked. I know that's not what you intended to write, but that's what you did write. And it's wrong.
In a second case, we said the house fire was in Lansing, when in fact it was in East Lansing.
In another case, we wrote that a study looked at marriage distribution, when in fact it looked at marriage disruption. That, too, is a fatal, since distribution is not what the study considered.
(And this is an example of where spell check wouldn't have caught the mistake, because the unintended word is correctly spelled. This is why we need to use spell check as a supplement to -- but not a substitute for -- checking your story fact-by-fact with your own eyes, and checking against your notes -- or, in this case, against the information in your text.)
In yet another instance, we said a fire took place last night. In fact, it was Saturday night. We also said the fire took place in an apartment complex when the information we had said it occurred in a house.
In one case, we said Vernon Sindelair was the city treasurer, when in fact he was the county treasurer. In another case, we said he was the U.S. treasurer, apparently in belief he was the country's treasurer.
We get this idea that fatals are a HUGE error, but the reality is overwhelmingly fatals are simple mistakes. Like forgetting a word. That's why we urge such stringent fact-checking.
So please, be vigilant. After you finish writing be sure to double-check every name and age and title and date and, yes, city spellings.
Now, with this assignment you were dinged 1.0 for any one component of the assignment with a fatal. But in future assignments, one fatal means a 1.0 on the entire assignment, period.
Seriously, it's that serious. Like I've said, journalism isn't about writing; it's about getting it right. Let's make sure we build good fact-checking habits so this is a rare circumstance.
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