Does this lede say what we meant to say?
A pregnant woman, her husband,
and their 3-year-old daughter were struck by a train while crossing on Michigan Avenue.
I
would say it does not.What we say here is that three people were struck
by the train. But that wasn't the case; they weren't hit by the train;
the SUV in which they were riding was hit. (If they were hit, they'd be
squashed like bugs, right?)
Keep
in mind, someone reading the lede of a story don't know anything yet
about what we're writing about, so they are going to take your words as
being literal. That's why we have to be precise in our writing, and
especially when writing ledes.
What we meant to say was, A sport-utility vehicle carrying a pregnant woman, her husband,
and their 3-year-old daughter was struck by a train while crossing on Michigan Avenue.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
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