Out-Of-Class #1: Another Pretty Good Example ...

... of someone's finished work. My comments are in bold and caps. Take a look at how this story was structured, and the kinds of gaps I noted.

(name redacted)

Slug: Shutdown

10/14/13

The consequences of the government shutdown are starting to affect Jason Gibbs, a research associate at the Michigan State University Department of Entomology, and other researchers at the university due to insufficient funds.

Gibbs SAID HE; ATTRIBUTE! is part of a team for a five-year multimillion-dollar research project involving bees and their process of pollination and said this is one of many and future research projects that are currently put on hold after the government decided to shut down on Oct. 1 due to not being able to agree on a budget for the 2014 year.

HOW MUCH MONEY DID MSU GET FROM FEDS FOR RESEARCH LAST YEAR? HOW MUCH WERE THEY COUNTING ON THIS YEAR? FOR HOW MANY PROJECTS, INVOLVING HOW MANY RESEARCHERS, TOTAL? SHOW ME WHAT MSU IS LOSING (VIA DATA), AND DON’T JUST TELL ME.

“We are at the beginning of year two and so far there is no funding for this year,” Gibbs said. “The money is gone and we have lost a number of collaborators.”

HOW MUCH MONEY WERE THEY COUNTING ON? HOW MUCH DO THEY NEED, TOTAL? HOW MANY WORKERS WOULD BE IMPACTED BY THIS?

“If there is no change, researchers will be unemployed,” Gibbs said. “We could lose personnel that are already deeply involved with the project and if we lose that, we can’t get them back.”

Gibbs said the research incorporates many others involved with the agriculture world and looks at the way pollination can be used for the production of different crops. However, even if the money did come later, it would be difficult to start back up.

“This is looking at how we can improve pollination and increase yield in a variety of different specialty crops such as watermelon and almonds,” Gibbs said. “Even if the money comes in a later date, we are starting from square one.”

Sarah Reckhow, assistant professor in the Department of Political Science, said regarding the shutdown, it is a matter of just waiting to see what the government decides to do and that the biggest effect from the shut down on the university would be funds for future research projects.

“There is still a lot that is unknown,” Reckhow said. “A big question is the processing of applications for research grants for faculty.”

Reckhow also said the two main agencies that MSU uses to get grants and funding are from the National Institutes of Health, or NIH, and the National Science Foundation, or NSF, but they are not there to process requests. Also, faculties have been advised to not apply for any funding from those and other federal agencies.

“Most people are not working because they all have been sent home,” Reckhow said. “There was an email sent out about being advised to not submit proposals to the NIH and NSF. They won’t start processing them until the shutdown ends”

“For the university, this is really important in terms of research funding,” Reckhow said. “People who apply for grants will not get the money.”

MSU Spokesman SPOKESMAN IS LOWER-CASE AS IT IS NOT A FORMAL TITLE Jason Cody said the university has been monitoring the situation everyday EVERY DAY IS TWO WORDS and has been communicating with the MSU Washington D.C. Office of the Vice President for Governmental Affairs and the Office of the Vice President for Research and Graduate Studies to make sure everyone at the university knows what is going on.

“The office in D.C. and the folks here are monitoring this everyday,” Cody said. “We have a website WEBSITE IS CAPITALIZED, PER AP STYLE set up and there also have been several communications from the Office of the Vice President for Research and Graduate Studies.”

Cody also said the university is trying to support lawmakers to come up with a solution before anything gets worse.

“MSU continues to encourage federal lawmakers to come up with a solution that is fair,” Cody said. “We not only want good for MSU, but good for higher education.”

Jerry Kooiman, former Michigan state representative and assistant dean for external relations for MSU College of Human Medicine, said as for students, if the university has already processed any type of financial help for the year, it will not be touched, however the researchers who are trying to put in direct applications are not getting answers.

“In terms of students, loans and other financial aid that have already been approved has been processed and won’t be affected,” Kooiman said. “The biggest issue is with the researchers who are putting in direct application and no one is there is answer any questions about those programs.”

HOW MUCH MONEY IN STUDENT AID IS MSU GETTING THIS YEAR? HOW MANY STUDENTS ARE GETTING FINANCIAL AID?

Kooiman also said that the transition back to reopening, it will be a tough process.

“Once the federal government opens up, it will take awhile to set up and catch up,” Kooiman said. “Hopefully they can come to an agreement in the next few days to avoid any other issues.”

Biosystems engineering junior Mackenzie Tocco said she was concerned about her financial aid when she first heard about the government shutting down but is relieved to know it will not be affected.

“Hearing that my financial aid won’t be affected makes me relieved, but I feel bad for those new students that are trying to apply for it now,” Tocco said. “It doesn’t make sense that some government officials are still being paid, like the President and Congress, but others may lose their jobs because of this.”

HOW MUCH FEDERAL AID IS SHE GETTING THIS YEAR? HOW MUCH OF HER COSTS DOES THAT COVER?

Tocco also said she does not understand why the government cannot just come to a resolution quickly.

“I don’t understands why our government is allowing this to go on because it effects many people,” Tocco said. “At this point, they just need to put their party affiliations aside and come up with an effective resolution.”

WORD COUNT MISSING

Source List

Jerry Kooiman-former state representative and assistant dean for external relations for MSU College of Human Medicine

(616) 234- 2604, jerry.kooiman@hc.msu.edu

Sarah Reckhow (education policy)- Assistant professor in the Department of political science,

(517) 488-2488, reckhow@gmail.com

Jason Cody- MSU Spokesman

(734) 755- 0210, jason.cody@cabs.msu.edu

Sarah Walter- (Office of the Vice President for Governmental Affairs) Associate Vice President for Governmental Affairs

(202) 678-4000, swalter@msu.edu

Jason Gibbs- Research Associate at MSU in Entomology Department

(517) 355- 6619, jgibbs@msu.edu

Mackenzie Tocco- Junior, biosystems engineering

(248) 978- 2463, toccomac@msu.edu

ASSIGNMENT GRADE: (grade redacted)

INSTRUCTOR COMMENTS: GOOD JOB, BUT WE NEED A BIT MORE DATA SO YOU CAN SHOW THE AUDIENCE THE HARD NUMBERS BEHIND THE GENERALIZATIONS YOU TOLD THEM.