Especially when reporting on crime and courts, it's hard to use the word allegedly enough. At the time accusations are made, they are alleged; that is, thaey have yet to be proven in a court of law.
So, it's important that we properly attribute things as being alleged.
For example, it's
not alleged that Timothy Keel entered the store. He has a face full of broken
bones proving he was there. And it's not a crime to get your ass kicked
(though it may be a crime to do the ass-kicking).
What is alleged is whether he pulled a knife, and tried to commit a crime.
So, where does allegedly fit in here?
DaRoza walked behind the counter for the key to the restroom when Keel followed him and exposed a knife.
Before "exposed a knife," right? Like this:
DaRoza walked behind the counter for the key to the restroom when Keel followed him and allegedly exposed a knife.
When something is being alleged, do use allegedly. And when in doubt, be safe and use allegedly.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Police: Who, What, When, WHERE, Why
In many of our stories we noted the store in question was in Okemos. That's good. It's key among the 5 W's: where.
But, a reader may ask, which store in Okemos? Is there just one? Is it the Jiffy Foods down the street?
So, as a secondary elaboration of location, it would have been nice to specify that by offering an address: 4010 Holbrook Drive.
It didn't need to be in the lede, or even the nut graf. But offering a specific like that is what the body of the story is for., The lede and nut graf sums things up, and the body offers a greater level of detail.
But, a reader may ask, which store in Okemos? Is there just one? Is it the Jiffy Foods down the street?
So, as a secondary elaboration of location, it would have been nice to specify that by offering an address: 4010 Holbrook Drive.
It didn't need to be in the lede, or even the nut graf. But offering a specific like that is what the body of the story is for., The lede and nut graf sums things up, and the body offers a greater level of detail.
Police: Writing With (AP) Style
Was the address of the store 4010 Holbrook Dr., or 4010 Holbrook Drive?
It's Drive, spelled out.
AP Style under addresses says to abbreviate avenue, boulevard and street when it's part of a specific address. But similar words like alley, drive, road and terrace are always spelled out, no matter what.
I know the report had drive abbreviated, but our job as journalists is to translate anything except direct citations and quotes into AP style.
Now, is it stupid that AP Style is being inconsistent on how to be consistent with addresses? I think so, absolutely.
But that doesn't matter, since AP Style is the standard by which most news organizations go when it comes to how they use facts and terms. So, we have to learn it for that practical reason: if we go into media, we'll have to know it. Even if some of it doesn't make sense.
Finally, I don't believe we're still on this,but ... the general AP Style number rule is that we spell out numbers from zero to nine (just like that, zero and nine, not 0 and 9) and that we use digits for 10 and above (just like that; 10, and not ten).
Next person who fails to adhere to the AP numbers rule, I chop off a finger.Yours, not mine. :)
It's Drive, spelled out.
AP Style under addresses says to abbreviate avenue, boulevard and street when it's part of a specific address. But similar words like alley, drive, road and terrace are always spelled out, no matter what.
I know the report had drive abbreviated, but our job as journalists is to translate anything except direct citations and quotes into AP style.
Now, is it stupid that AP Style is being inconsistent on how to be consistent with addresses? I think so, absolutely.
But that doesn't matter, since AP Style is the standard by which most news organizations go when it comes to how they use facts and terms. So, we have to learn it for that practical reason: if we go into media, we'll have to know it. Even if some of it doesn't make sense.
Finally, I don't believe we're still on this,but ... the general AP Style number rule is that we spell out numbers from zero to nine (just like that, zero and nine, not 0 and 9) and that we use digits for 10 and above (just like that; 10, and not ten).
Next person who fails to adhere to the AP numbers rule, I chop off a finger.Yours, not mine. :)
Monday, June 29, 2015
JRN 200: Your Tuesday 6/30 Homework
Also, due by 9 a.m. Wednesday will be a practice story, slugged RESCUE. For this story, use the fire department report found in Ch. 18, Ex. 6, p. 492 of RFTM, 10th Edition. Please send your assignment to omars@msu.edu.
For this exercise, the city and fire department in question are those of East Lansing. Also, military time is used in this report, which you'll have to translate into regular time. A primer on military time can be found here.
Also, please keep working on your first out-of-class story. Your deadline for that is still no later than 9 a.m. Thursday, via email to omars@msu.edu. Please follow all directions as highlighted in previous blog posts and the syllabus, and good luck!
Meeting: A Good Example
Note the to-the-point lede and
the strong nut graf and telling quotes
tight grafs and ranking of information in order of importance and
newsworthiness. Here we go:
The Grand Ledge School Board voted
to keep using the same biology textbooks in Grand Ledge schools last night
despite complaints from citizens that the books do not teach creationism.
After a lively public hearing that
about 100 people attended, the board voted 6-3 to continue using the current
textbooks.
“We’ve seen your biology books,” Grand
Ledge parent Claire Sawyer said. “I don’t want my children using them. They
never mention the theory of creationism.”
The debate went back and forth
among members of the public in attendance.
“Evolution isn’t a theory,” Grand
Ledge parent Harley Euon said. “It’s a proven fact. Creationism is a religious
idea, not even a scientific theory. People here are trying to force schools to
teach our children their religion.”
After the vote in favor of the
current textbooks, the board said they encourage parents to discuss the matter
of creationism versus evolution in their individual homes.
In other discussion, the board
opted to continue remedial summer classes for one more year, but to examine
whether the remedial classes are worth their cost.
The classes, which the board said
cost about $2.1 million, are set to stay for at least one more year after a 7-2
vote.
The classes are only used by about
900 students each summer, according to board member Umberto Vacante.
“If we’re going to spend that kind
of money, I think we should use it to help and reward our most talented
students,” Vacante said. “They’re the ones we ignore. We could offer special
programs for them.”
Superintendent Greg Hubbard
disagreed with Vacante’s assessment.
“Some of these summer students have
learning disabilities and emotional problems, and they really need the help,”
Hubbard said. “This would hurt them terribly. Without it, they might never
graduate.”
In budget discussions, the board
announced that $9.3 million of the $618.7 million in next year’s budget will be
spent on the construction of a new elementary school on West Madison Avenue.
The school will be completed and open in two years, the board said.
The school will be completed and open in two years, the board said.
The board said teachers and
administrators are set to receive wage increases of 4.5 percent and 6
percent, respectively.
Meeting: Lede With The News
Still a bit of shakiness with identifying what the news really is for the lede. The news isn't that things were discussed; it's what was done or not done. Too many ledes or section starts defaulted to things were discussed. That's not the news, right?
This was a lede that went in that direction:
The Grand Ledge School Board discussed its budget, evolution vs. creationism in textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.
This was a lede that went in that direction:
The Grand Ledge School Board discussed several issues at its meeting last night.
The
problem here is that the news isn't that the school board addressed
items; it's what the items were that were addressed. From this lede, you
don't know if they gave out ribbons to old ladies or declared war on
Russia. It's too vague. Those ledes sound like this imaginary football game story lede:
The MSU football team played a game Saturday night.
And that's a lede we'd never write, right? This next lede was better in that regard:
The MSU football team played a game Saturday night.
And that's a lede we'd never write, right? This next lede was better in that regard:
The Grand Ledge School Board discussed its budget, evolution vs. creationism in textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.
You do
identify what the issues were, but it still falls short of ultimate
outcome and end result; that being what actions they took regarding
these issues: for example, with the school board it's that they approved a new budget, considered teaching creationism, rejected canceling summer school.
That lede sounds like this modified game lede:
The MSU football team played Notre Dame Saturday night.
And that lede still doesn't go far enough toward ultimate outcome and end result.
This modified football lede does:
The MSU football team beat Notre Dame 63-0 Saturday night.
So, now let's apply that same fixation on end result on this school board lede:
The Grand Ledge School Board approved a new budget and voted to keep evolution-based textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.
That lede sounds like this modified game lede:
The MSU football team played Notre Dame Saturday night.
And that lede still doesn't go far enough toward ultimate outcome and end result.
This modified football lede does:
The MSU football team beat Notre Dame 63-0 Saturday night.
So, now let's apply that same fixation on end result on this school board lede:
The Grand Ledge School Board approved a new budget and voted to keep evolution-based textbooks and summer school at its meeting last night.
Much better, right? You now know precisely how things ended.
But it wasn't necessary that you include every element in your lede. A big
part of journalism is deciding what is most newsworthy, and ranking that
news accordingly (or even excluding things if you feel the
newsworthiness was limited or simply not there).
This lede zeroed in on a single topic:
The
Grand Ledge School Board put evolution ahead of creationism in opting
to keep current textbooks at this week's board meeting.
And
that's fine. I'm not saying the book issue was necessarily the lede
item; I think valid arguments could be made for any of the items being
the most interesting, relevant and/or useful. Readers don't need us to
summarize a whole meeting; they could probably Google an agenda
themselves. What they need journalists for is to make sense of the news
and tell them what matters most.
So don't be afraid to make decisions, based on the evidence and what may impact or interest readers the most.
One
lede took ultimate outcome beyond the meeting. Remember that while
summer school would be kept this year, the board wants to study the
matter? Well, this was one
of your ledes:
The
Grand Ledge School Board County Commission promised to consider the
future of summer school after extending such classes for one year at
yesterday's board meeting.
This
is what I call a forward-looking lede; one that goes beyond what
happened at an event, and is centered in what that means going forward,
or what action is next as a result. When we talk about ultimate outcome,
the outcome isn't that the board talked about it; it's that the board
will talk about it some more. That's the latest and newest news.
Meeting: Did You ...
... write about everything that happened at the meeting? Or just the things you thought were most newsworthy?
And how would you rank the newsworthiness of the items that took place at the meeting? These were the things, in order of occurrence, at the school board meeting:
1. Retiring teachers honored
2. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3. Board keeps summer school intact
4. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism
5. School volunteers honored
Does the order of importance match the order of occurrence? How would you rank these things, in terms of importance?
The importance ranking should match your order of presentation, regardless of the order in which things took place.
And when we talk about importance, think about what things are the most interesting or relevant or useful to your audience. Think about what is most unusual that took place. Think about what would have the most impact. Think about what people would be most curious about, or wanting to know about.
If you're not sure if your ranking of items based on newsworthiness is the best, here's a good rule of thumb: the item you wrote about the most is probably the one worth the best placement. The one you wrote about the least should probably be presented last, or maybe even not at all.
I'd argue these were proper orders of importance. From the school meeting:
1. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism
2 or 3. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3 or 2. Board keeps summer school intact
4 or 5. Retiring teachers honored
4 or 5. School volunteers honored
Our job as journalists isn't to necessarily record everything, and put things in the order in which it took place. That's stenography. Rather, we decide what was most important, and rank things in the order of importance.
What did you do, and why?
And how would you rank the newsworthiness of the items that took place at the meeting? These were the things, in order of occurrence, at the school board meeting:
1. Retiring teachers honored
2. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3. Board keeps summer school intact
4. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism
5. School volunteers honored
Does the order of importance match the order of occurrence? How would you rank these things, in terms of importance?
The importance ranking should match your order of presentation, regardless of the order in which things took place.
And when we talk about importance, think about what things are the most interesting or relevant or useful to your audience. Think about what is most unusual that took place. Think about what would have the most impact. Think about what people would be most curious about, or wanting to know about.
If you're not sure if your ranking of items based on newsworthiness is the best, here's a good rule of thumb: the item you wrote about the most is probably the one worth the best placement. The one you wrote about the least should probably be presented last, or maybe even not at all.
I'd argue these were proper orders of importance. From the school meeting:
1. Board decides to keep current biology textbooks and not teach creationism
2 or 3. New budget approved that includes construction of a new school, pay raises
3 or 2. Board keeps summer school intact
4 or 5. Retiring teachers honored
4 or 5. School volunteers honored
Our job as journalists isn't to necessarily record everything, and put things in the order in which it took place. That's stenography. Rather, we decide what was most important, and rank things in the order of importance.
What did you do, and why?
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