Meeting: Transitional Phrases

In stories where you have multiple sub-issues, like a meeting story, it's helpful to have a new subsection started with a transitional phrase, like

In other business, the board ...

Also, the board ...

In other news ...

Also at the meeting ...

Also approved (or rejected) was ... 

Such transitional phrases help clearly delineate when reporting on one matter ends and another begins.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like,something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, likethe board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.

Meeting: Ledeing A Subsection

With subsections of stories, you want to lede with the end result first, just like with a lede.

What some of you did, though, was lede a subsection with something like, something was discussed, and then ended the subsection with the end result, like the board approved the plan.

What you wanted to do was start the subsection with, something was approved by the board, and then detailed what the proposal was and what discussions took place.

So let's look at a hypothetical subsection done right, and wrong. First, the wrong:

In other business, the board discussed creationism vs. evolution in textbooks. The current books feature evolution.

"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.

Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "Thaat's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."

In the end, the board voted 10-0 to keep the current books.

Now, the right way to do it:

In other business, the board voted 10-0 to keep current textbooks that teach evolution. Some parents had argued for a switch to the teaching of creationism.


"The current books suck. I didn't come from no monkey," said parent Omar Sofradzija.


Said parent Lindsay Lohan: "That's scientific fact. Omar is an idiot."


See the difference? In the latter version, we know right away at the start of the subsection what was the end result. Just like a lede. Think of subsections as mini-stories, and look for the mini-story lede to go to end result and ultimate outcome.