Robbery: Some Strong Examples ...

... of what a properly-sourced story with a good lede looked like, via one of youze.

The lede goes to end result and ultimate outcome, not only in that a man was shot, but the victim also lost his job as a result.


There's a strong nut graf, that helps explain the lede in greater detail: WHO was shot, WHO did the shooting.


In the narrative body of the story, there is frequent attribution, so the reader knows exactly where the reporter got his or her information from.

Is the story perfect? No. For example, it lacks a specific address for where the robbery took place.

Still, it is a decent example to look at and consider against your own work. Here we go:

A convenience store robbery late yesterday resulted in one man lifeless, and one clerk jobless after an act of self-defense. 

Twenty-two-year-old Michael Layoux was working alone at the O-Mart in Haslett last night when he shot Robert A. Wiess three in the chest and side.

Wiess walked into the convenience store just after 11 p.m. asking for a pack of Winston cigarettes when he then pulled out a gun and asked for the money in the register, said Layoux.

Layoux said he gave the robber the money, but was then motioned to move toward the cooler.

“The only thing I could figure was that he wanted to shoot me, and he wanted to do it in some place where no one could see what was happening,” Layoux said.

Being shoved towards the cooler, Layoux said he was scared.  He then shot the robber with the .25-caliber pistol he kept under the counter.

Layoux started carrying a gun to work after two clerks at another convenience store in the city were robbed and killed last year, he said.

“Carrying a gun is against company policy, but I figured I had to protect myself,” Layoux said.

The robber ran straight through the glass of the front door after the shootings. Police officers of the Meridian Township Police Department found Wiess dead in a field 200 yards away, Layoux said.

The Ingham County District Attorney, Ramone Hernandez, confirmed that the shooting was self-defense, and Layoux would not be prosecuted.

Because it is against company policy to carry a gun in the store, the district manager called and fired Layoux from his job, Layoux said.

Layoux says he can understand the company rules. “He was dead, and now I’ve lost my job. But I wouldn’t do it any different,” said Layoux. 

*****

Here's another strong example that offers a solid lede, a strong nut graf, and good attribution throughout. The big miss here? The exact time the incident took place:

******

Michael Layoux, an employee of the O-Mart convenience store in Haslett, was forced to act in self-defense when he was robbed late last night, according to the Meridian Township Police Department.

The 22-year-old college student shot and killed the armed intruder, who has been identified as Robert Wiess. Layoux says Wiess came into the store asking for a pack of cigarettes. 

“I handed him a pack and then he pulled a gun and says, ‘you see what I got?’ He had a pistol and he held it low, level with his hip, so no one outside the store could look in and see it,” Layoux said.

After handing him the money from the cash register, Layoux says Wiess started to shove him towards the beer and soda cooler located in the back of the store. 

“The only thing I could figure was that he wanted to shoot me and he wanted to do it in some place where no one could see what was happening,” Layoux said. “That’s where the two other clerks were shot last year, in a cooler in their store.”

Layoux said the 24-hour store has a history of holdups, particularly late at night when no one is around. Consequently he keeps a .25-caliber pistol under the counter to protect himself, which he utilized last night.

“I shot him three times in the chest and side but I didn’t know right away that I hit him,” Layoux said.

According to police, the body was found in a field 200 yards away after Wiess broke through the glass door of the store.

Although District Attorney Ramone Hernandez confirmed that his office considered the shooting self-defense, Layoux still faces termination from his job.

“I got a call at home from my district manager and he said I’m fired because it’s against company policy to have a gun at the store,” Layoux said. “It’s a real shame because I’m still a college student and I need the job.”

Regardless of losing his job, Layoux says he wouldn’t have acted any differently.