Final Ledes: Who, What, WHEN, Where, Why

This is a pretty good lede:

State Rep. Constance Wei may find validating her opposition to a ban on cell phone usage while driving more difficult after slamming into another car as she talked on the phone. 

... but there's a pretty big miss. When did it happen? Today? Yesterday? Six months ago?

Often, with news we are trying to highlight that it is new. Prominently saying when helps us do that.

Let's be sure we're using the 5 W's as a sort of checklist, to make sure critical elements are making the lede.

Final Ledes: Get To The End Result

In most ledes, we want to aim for getting to the main point; that is, the end result and ultimate outcome. How did things end up?

This lede doesn't quite get there:
  
Til' death do us part is still too soon for Olivida Saleeby, who requested that the East Lansing Zoning Board allow her to bury her husband of 62 years in their backyard. 

In it, we know what the issue was, but we don't know how it ended up. The news isn't that the board was deciding the issue; it's how they decided it.

This lede goes the extra, necessary step:

“Rest in peace” remains easier said than done for Olivida Saleeby after the East Lansing Zoning Board denied her request to bury her husband in the backyard of their home.

Again, the news isn't that the burial was requested; it's that it was denied.

Final Ledes: Writing With (AP) Style

First off, a warning: starting today, I will start enforcing AP Style rules on any and all items covered by the blog. So start picking up on and acting on the AP Style rules we've gone over, as we go over them.

Now, onto the latest rules: 

When talking abut Constance Wei, is is State Representative Constance Wei; or State Rep. Constance Wei; or Constance Wei, a State Representative; or Constance Wei, a state representative?

It's State Rep. Constance Wei; or Constance Wei, a state representative. How do I know that? AP Style, under titles:

In general confine capitalization to formal titles used directly before an individual's name ... capitalize formal titles when they are used immediately before one or more names ...  the following formal titles are capitalized and abbreviated as shown when used before a name both inside and outside quotations: Dr., Gov., Lt. Gov., Rep., Sen., and certain military ranks listed in military titles. All other formal titles are spelled out in all uses.  

There are a ton of exceptions under titles, so that's a section you probably want to check frequently.

Also, as we noted earlier in a first reference we ALWAYS use first and last names: Constance Wei. But from then on we use only the last name: Wei.

This is what it says under names:

In general, use last names only on second reference.


Also, If someone's title precedes their name, then you capitalize: State Rep. Constance. Likewise, you capitalize a title when part of an entity's formal name:East Lansing Zoning Board

If someone's title follows their name, then it's lower-case: Constance Wei, a state representative. Likewise, if a title is not part of an entity's formal name, then it is lower-cased: the zoning board of East Lansing

When a title is used without a name, it's lower-cased: a state representative, a zoning board.

Also, titles in most cases should not be included after a first reference. You may start out by saying State Rep. Constance Wei, but in subsequent references it's justWei, minus the State Rep. and Constance.

Under AP Style:

In subsequent references, do not continue using the title before a name. Use only the last name.


Moving on, when do you spell out avenue and street, and when do you abbreviate it?

In AP Style under addresses, it says to abbreviate when used with a specific street number, like 8397 Liberty Ave.

But when using just the street name without a number, it's spelled out, like Liberty Avenue.

RFTM Ch. 10: The Body of a News Story

The portion of the story that follows the lede is the body. The body offers details amplifying, supporting, building and detailing the lede.

The most basic type of story body is known as the inverted pyramid. In an inverted pyramid, writers arrange information of descending importance or newsworthiness, in this kind of order:

First paragraph: the lede
Second graf: The nut graf
Third graf: first most-important bit of detail
Fourth graf: second most-important bit of detail
Fifth graf: third most-important bit of detail
... and so on

The advantages of an inverted pyramid are: it helps reporters prioritize information; it helps new reporters find missing elements in a story; it's easy for readers to understand; and it's easy to write and edit quickly (making it especially useful in breaking news situations).

The disadvantages include: it concentrates on basic facts, not leaving much room for context and meaning; it can be boring to read; and it locks reporters into formulatic writing, allowing less flexibilty.

(Having said that, it is a basic writing style that works well as a default style if you're getting confused on how to write something. You can always fall back on an inverted pyramid and be okay.)

In organizing an inverted pyramid story, of course we start with the lede, which we've already gone over. The second graf is known as the nut graf, which does two big things: first, it answers questions created by the lede; second, it offers a logical transition to the body of the story.

For example, let's look at a lede from a previous exercise:

A 22-year-old man speeding at 100 mph crashed his car and died, just 15 minutes before his wedding was to begin this morning in East Lansing. 

This lede creates several questions: who was the 22-year-old man? When, exactly, was the crash? And where, specifically? Why did he crash? And so on.

Those exact details were probably left out of the lede for brevity's sake. But now we can add in some of those details via a nut graf, like this:

Scott Forsythe, who was to wed Sara Howard, was trying to avoid a dog in the road at the time of the 8:45 a.m. crash along Kirkmann Road.

Now, let's pair the lede and nut graf, and see how they symbiotically support each other:

A 22-year-old man speeding at 100 mph crashed his car and died, just 15 minutes before his wedding was to begin this morning in East Lansing.

Scott Forsythe, who was to wed Sara Howard, was trying to avoid a dog in the road at the time of the 8:45 a.m. crash along Kirkmann Road.

The nut graf doesn't mimic or echo the lede; it builds upon it, by filling in details from the lede. Then, we can start a narrative telling in the body of the story.


Another way to pair a lede/nut graf combo is to do an alternative lede. In such cases, the lede (rather than being a summary of how things ended up) can be an anecdote that conveys a more human and relateable example of the bigger issue. (In such cases, the lede may actually be two or three grafs, or more.) Then, the nut graf (much like a traditional lede) sums up the issue bottom line.

For example, a hypothetical story about students struggling to pay for tuition may start with a two-graf anecdotal lede, and then go to a nut graf, like this:

Joe Schmo is a college student, but his day consists of far more than class.

Schmo, a sophomore at Michigan State University, works six jobs in addition to attending six hours of class each day. He works as a waiter, a clerk, a mime, a bookie, a pilot and a rodeo clown, all in an effort to cover his $25,000 in annual tuition payments, he said.

A growing number of students -- like Schmo -- are having to work while attending college, with the number of students engaged in work-study increasing by 500 percent between 1993 and 2013, a recent study found. 

With an anecdotal lede, we try to take something big -- like student struggles -- and break it down into something that's easier to relate to, in this case a single student's struggle.

Now, in picking which way to lede a story, we don't base it on what writing style we prefer. Rather, we select the one that best tells the story, and allows readers to best relate to what makes this story interesting, relevant and.or useful.

(This is another big difference between writing for English composition and writing for journalism. In English comp, we write for personal expression and artistic reason. It's all about us. In journalism, we write to contextually and accurately represent the facts we've discovered, and for reader understanding of the story. It's all about the readers and the truth. We may use creative and artistic techniques in telling the story, but we do it based on the facts and reader comprehension, not our own personal expressiveness.) 

Then, we continue with the news in the body of the story. We more fully explain how things unfolded or happened. We offer quotes and descriptions. We offer more detail and reaction.

Also in the body of the story, we explain the unfamiliar. We avoid or translate words that are not used in everyday conversation,or that are jargon, as we blogged about earlier. We can translate terms (like, instead of saying cardiac arrest, we use the more conversational heart attack).

Or we can define terms (by saying something like, the man suffered cardiac arrest, commonly known as a heart attack), helping to make a complex story more understandable, and teaching the audience something that may be useful or interesting.

Examples are important, too. Citing examples can help factually justify your summations; make stories more readable and interesting; they can personalize stories and make stories more understandable and relateable; and make concepts more understandable by comparing them to things that are familiar.

In journalism, we try to remember a concept of show, and don't just tell. That is, don't just tell me the news; show me the proof through quotes and data and such. In the lede and nut graf, we generally tell. But in the body of the story, we must show.

Body of a Story: Some Examples

The most basic story structures are very specific in style yet simple in design. So let's look an imaginary story done in a basic news style, starting with what you already know -- the lede:

School was canceled forever today after a 46-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.

The lede is usually followed by what is called the nut graf. The role of that paragraph is to elaborate and expand upon the details of the lede.

Consider the general identifiers posed in the lede: an unnamed instructor, an unnamed school, an unspecified big-money lottery ect. Try to follow up on those generalities with specifics in the nut graf, like this:

Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.

That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.

In journalism, we try to keep paragraphs fairly short -- usually limited to one main point or idea per graf, and/or one or two sentences per graf. In this case, I thought the nut graf was running a bit long, so I split it into two grafs.

We try to keep paragraphs short and specific for two big reasons: one, to make it easy for the reader to identify key points and specific quotes and such; and two, to make it easy for editors to do the same so they can more quickly edit the story by easily finding what may be worth emphasis or cutting out.

The point after the nut graf is a great place to consider putting in a telling quote;something that goes to the heart of the story's theme or context or ultimate meaning. Something like this:

"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.

At this point, the lede/nut graf/key quote package creates sort of a mini-story. In the same way the lede gives you the bare minimum of what you need to know about the story, this grouping of grafs gives readers the minimum amount of information AND supporting detail and evidence.

From this point on, you have a couple of options: you can add more supporting facts and quotes, in descending order of importance. This is called the inverted pyramid style of story organization. You start with the most important piece of background, then the next most important, and so on. Like with short paragraphs, it allows for faster reading and editing. Like this:

Sofradzija, who has been making just $2 an hour teaching an introduction-to-journalism class, said he plans to never teach again.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," he said.

But a number of students said that losing Sofradzija as an instructor has sapped their will to learn.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

Sofradzija said he did not know what exactly he's spend his fortune on, but he promised it would be something stupid.

Notice how pieces of telling information are paired up with quotes supporting, amplifying and humanizing that raw data. It's not necessary that every graf of info is followed by a related quote, but it does help in reinforcing the points that are made throughout a story.

Also, please note attribution is liberally used throughout the story, in every graf after the lede. That's for the benefit of readers, who get to see exactly where you get each bit of information that supports the original claim you make in your lede. Not only are you transparent, but you essentially rely on the expertise of your sources by citing them, building your credibility.

Another approach is to offer a chronological telling, looking at things from the start and listing them in the order they happened. It's important that you weigh the facts you have and the context of the story to decide if an inverted pyramid, chronology or some other method best tells the story. Like this:

Events quickly began to unfold around 8 p.m. Monday, when Sofradzija was named the Amazeballs winner. His resignation was submitted to MSU by 6 a.m. Tuesday, school officials said.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," Sofradzija said.

Word quickly swirled around campus of Sofradzija's departure, with students walking out of their classes em masse throughout the day Tuesday, school officials said.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

University leaders met that night before making the cancellation of the semester official at 8 a.m. today, officials said.

And that's it. Notice how the story seems to end sort of abruptly. Looks weird, right? Well, in journalism that's okay is your story lacks what writers call a satisfying ending. Why is this okay? Because you already have an ending: your lede.

Now that we looked at these two structures in pieces, let's put it all together and look at the pieces as stories. First, the inverted pyramid:

School was canceled forever today after a 46-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.

Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.

That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.

"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.

Sofradzija, who has been making just $2 an hour teaching an introduction-to-journalism class, said he plans to never teach again.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," he said.

But a number of students said that losing Sofradzija as an instructor has sapped their will to learn.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

Sofradzija said he did not know what exactly he's spend his fortune on, but he promised it would be something stupid.

*****

Now, the chronological style:

*****

School was canceled forever today after a 46-year-old college instructor won a multi-billion dollar lottery, quitting his job and sparking a walkout among his students.

Omar Sofradzija, who teaches a journalism class at Michigan State University in East Lansing, won the $99 billion Amazeballs drawing Monday, after which he quit Tuesday, lottery officials said.

That was followed by a mass walkout by MSU students, and then cancelation of MSU classes the next day, university officials said.

"If there's no Omar, there simply isn't any point in having school," MSU president Lou Anna K. Simon said.

Events quickly began to unfold around 8 p.m. Monday, when Sofradzija was named the Amazeballs winner. His resignation was submitted to MSU by 6 a.m. Tuesday, school officials said.

"Seriously, eff those little brats," Sofradzija said.

Word quickly swirled around campus of Sofradzija's departure, with students walking out of their classes em masse throughout the day Tuesday, school officials said.

"If I can't learn from Omar, I can't learn. I'm that stupid," said Elvis Presley, a sophomore journalism major from Canada.

University leaders met that night before making the cancellation of the semester official at 8 a.m. today, officials said.

Now, which is the best structure to use: inverted pyramid or chronology? Again, it depends on what best tells the story.

If you're writing about something complex where impact and meaning doesn't necessarily happen in sequence -- like a tuition increase or comparing on-campus and off-campus housing -- then structuring things based on an analyzed importance may be the way to go.

But of the story you're looking into naturally and dramatically unfolds in order -- like a bank robbery or 9/11 -- then a chronology probably works best.

A lot of it depends on what kind of facts you dig up while reporting. Note in each approach, some facts get greater or lesser emphasis, and some facts get entirely left out. You should think about which approach best uses the most important, relevant, interesting and useful facts. Whichever does is probably the highest and best approach to take.

Let me be clear, though: these are NOT the only two story structure options you have. As you've read in the book and probably noticed in your newspaper readings, there are endless ways to write ledes and detail nut grafs and add quotes and cascade facts throughout a story.

You're first and foremost looking for the best way to tell a story, based on what makes meaning and context and accuracy clear and easy to follow.

These are just two basic ways to do that. Master this, and then start practicing other ways.

More Ledes: What Does My Grade Mean?

Overall, nice work on the graded ledes exercise. Plus, for the first time you're getting very specific evaluations in numerical form. That's called a grade.

From the syllabus, here's a roundup of what the funny numbers cited in your returned work means:

4.0: Story could be published virtually as is. It shows superior command of the facts, news judgment, story organization, reporting and writing.

3.5: Could be published with very minor revisions. Generally well-written, accurate copy containing all relevant material, but requires minor editing for maximum precision and clarity.

3.0: Better-than-average story. The story was handled well. Copy needs some rewriting and polishing before it could be published.

2.5: A little above average. The story might have a significant problem with reporting, organization, completeness, ect. Certainly needs rewriting.

2.0: Average job. Not a story most readers would read unless they really needed the information. The story may have reporting, organization or writing problems.

1.5: A weak story. The story may have a buried lede, problems in news interpretation, problems in story organization, omission of some important fact or source. The story needs substantial revision.

1.0: A non-story. The story lacks news judgment, displays major flaws in reporting and writing, omits important facts. The story needs substantial rethinking. Also, a story with any fact error automatically gets this grade.

0.0: Story is late or failed to receive instructor's approval. Story is misleading or unethical. Organization of writing flaws make the story incoherent.

More Ledes: Ledes I Liked

Everyone did at least fine on this assignment, some by sticking to basic ledes, and others by trying alternative ledes.

Here's some basic ones:

The East Lansing Police Department will charge arrested persons $25 for mug shots and fingerprints to offset expenses, city officials announced today.

 ... and ...

 Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed this morning in a car accident on Kirkmann Road, just 15 minutes before he was to be married.

... and ...  

A group of Michigan State scientists have come up with a possible plan to transplant African wildlife in danger of extinction to the Great Plains of North America.

... and ...

 A six-month-old girl was left unharmed in her parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday.

Next up, let's look at some alternate ledes. Off we go:

Arrested? Prepare for a mug shot, fingerprints, and a $25 service charge.

It's basic and to-the-point, yet still a bit creative in terms of the question lede. It makes it sound a bit more conversational. So did this one:

In an attempt to cure East Lansing's financial troubles, committing a crime now costs offenders more than the humiliation of an arrest.


These next two one looked at the topic from a similarly-practical angle; what you may see as a result of the news:

Lions, elephants and giraffes may soon be found roaming a lot closer to home, as ecologists and biologists want to transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.

... and ...

While driving across the Great Plains of North America, how would you feel about looking out the car window and seeing giraffes, lions and elephants?

Here, someone took a secondary angle and highlighted it; the angle being, what would the move mean to those affected?

A new idea from Michigan State University scientists has Jim Smithson, a rancher in North Dakota, worried that his cows may be slaughtered by a possible new threat: lions.

This next one had a bit of fun with word play: 

A wild idea proposed for a transplant of African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America by Michigan State University scientists is stirring up controversy across the country. 

These next two went straight to context:

What could have been the happiest day of Scott Forsythe's life turned fatal after he was killed in a car accident driving 100 mph on the way to his own wedding.

... and ...

Just 15 minutes before 22-year-old Scott Forsythe was scheduled to say "I do," a decision to save a dog's life took his own.

... and ...

      Scott Forsythe was to be wed at 9 a.m.

At 8:45 a.m., half a mile from the church where his bride-to-be waited at the altar, Forsythe crashed into two trees and a fence at 100 mph.

Now, instead of a honeymoon, his bride will attend a funeral.

This next one very nicely went to end result and ultimate outcome: 


A 6-month-old girl was left unharmed in her parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday.
 

I liked these next two, too, that were centered on context:

Could you imagine a routine gas station visit turning into a search for your missing 6-month old baby? For Ethel Perakiss on Wednesday afternoon, this was a reality.
 ...and ...
    

                   When Ethel Perakiss’ car pulled up to the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday afternoon, her six-month-old daughter was in the back seat. 

When the car pulled away from the store, her baby was still in the back, but a stranger with stolen money and a handgun was at the wheel.

This next one bridged the basic facts AND context:

A Michigan Avenue Quick Shoppe robber fled the scene Wednesday with money, a stolen car, and to his surprise, a baby.

Now, which ones do you like, and why? Which ones don't you like, and how come?