More Ledes: What Does My Grade Mean?

Overall, nice work on the graded ledes exercise. Plus, for the first time you're getting very specific evaluations in numerical form. That's called a grade.

From the syllabus, here's a roundup of what the funny numbers cited in your returned work means:

4.0: Story could be published virtually as is. It shows superior command of the facts, news judgment, story organization, reporting and writing.

3.5: Could be published with very minor revisions. Generally well-written, accurate copy containing all relevant material, but requires minor editing for maximum precision and clarity.

3.0: Better-than-average story. The story was handled well. Copy needs some rewriting and polishing before it could be published.

2.5: A little above average. The story might have a significant problem with reporting, organization, completeness, ect. Certainly needs rewriting.

2.0: Average job. Not a story most readers would read unless they really needed the information. The story may have reporting, organization or writing problems.

1.5: A weak story. The story may have a buried lede, problems in news interpretation, problems in story organization, omission of some important fact or source. The story needs substantial revision.

1.0: A non-story. The story lacks news judgment, displays major flaws in reporting and writing, omits important facts. The story needs substantial rethinking. Also, a story with any fact error automatically gets this grade.

0.0: Story is late or failed to receive instructor's approval. Story is misleading or unethical. Organization of writing flaws make the story incoherent.

More Ledes: Ledes I Liked

Everyone did at least fine on this assignment, some by sticking to basic ledes, and others by trying alternative ledes.

Here's some basic ones:

The East Lansing Police Department will charge arrested persons $25 for mug shots and fingerprints to offset expenses, city officials announced today.

 

 ... and ...

 Scott Forsythe, 22, was killed this morning in a car accident on Kirkmann Road, just 15 minutes before he was to be married.

... and ...  

A group of Michigan State scientists have come up with a possible plan to transplant African wildlife in danger of extinction to the Great Plains of North America.

... and ...

 A six-month-old girl was left unharmed in her parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday.

Next up, let's look at some alternate ledes. Off we go:

Arrested? Prepare for a mug shot, fingerprints, and a $25 service charge.

It's basic and to-the-point, yet still a bit creative in terms of the question lede. It makes it sound a bit more conversational. So did this one:

In an attempt to cure East Lansing's financial troubles, committing a crime now costs offenders more than the humiliation of an arrest.


These next two one looked at the topic from a similarly-practical angle; what you may see as a result of the news:

Lions, elephants and giraffes may soon be found roaming a lot closer to home, as ecologists and biologists want to transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America.

... and ...

While driving across the Great Plains of North America, how would you feel about looking out the car window and seeing giraffes, lions and elephants?

Here, someone took a secondary angle and highlighted it; the angle being, what would the move mean to those affected?

A new idea from Michigan State University scientists has Jim Smithson, a rancher in North Dakota, worried that his cows may be slaughtered by a possible new threat: lions.

This next one had a bit of fun with word play:

A wild idea proposed for a transplant of African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America by Michigan State University scientists is stirring up controversy across the country.

These next two went straight to context:

What could have been the happiest day of Scott Forsythe's life turned fatal after he was killed in a car accident driving 100 mph on the way to his own wedding.

... and ...

Just 15 minutes before 22-year-old Scott Forsythe was scheduled to say "I do," a decision to save a dog's life took his own.


... and ...

      Scott Forsythe was to be wed at 9 a.m.

At 8:45 a.m., half a mile from the church where his bride-to-be waited at the altar, Forsythe crashed into two trees and a fence at 100 mph.

Now, instead of a honeymoon, his bride will attend a funeral.

This next one very nicely went to end result and ultimate outcome: 


A 6-month-old girl was left unharmed in her parents’ sport-utility vehicle after it was carjacked by an armed robber at the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday.
 

I liked these next two, too, that were centered on context:

Could you imagine a routine gas station visit turning into a search for your missing 6-month old baby? For Ethel Perakiss on Wednesday afternoon, this was a reality.
 ...and ...
   

                   When Ethel Perakiss’ car pulled up to the Quik Shoppe convenience store Wednesday afternoon, her six-month-old daughter was in the back seat. 

When the car pulled away from the store, her baby was still in the back, but a stranger with stolen money and a handgun was at the wheel.

This next one bridged the basic facts AND context:

A Michigan Avenue Quick Shoppe robber fled the scene Wednesday with money, a stolen car, and to his surprise, a baby.

Now, which ones do you like, and why? Which ones don't you like, and how come?

More Ledes: A Decent Foursome

1.     A wedding day turned to tragedy when Sara Howard’s fiancée  Scott

Forsythe was killed in a car accident today on Kirkmann Road after he swerved to avoid a dog. 

2.     A night in jail not only includes an embarrassing photo and inked-stained fingers, but also now costs the person who was arrested $25 for this service, according to East Lansing city officials. 

1.   A group of ecologists and biologists at Michigan State University and other schools want to transplant African wildlife to the Great Plains of North America in order to preserve them from extinction. 

2. The robbery of a Quik Shoppe convenience store turned into the search for 6-month-old Megan Perakiss when the thief carjacked a vehicle with the baby still inside Wednesday.

More Ledes: Four More

A 22-year-old man was on his way to starting a new life, but instead he lost his own.

            Scott Forsythe died this morning in a car accident just 15 minutes before his wedding as a result from veering to avoid hitting a dog, witnesses said.

2.         Every person arrested must pay a $25 fee to cover city expenses during a financial crisis, East Lansing city officials announced today.

1.         Lions, giraffes, and elephants – oh my!

            While driving through the Great Plains of North America in the future, one might expect to see African wildlife out their window. A group of scientists in East Lansing believe that relocating African wildlife to America will increase their population numbers for future growth.

2.         Six-month-old girl Megan Perakiss arrived with her mother, but left with her hijacker.

More Ledes: The Peanut Barrel Rule

There's nothing wrong with this lede. But it's still missing something. Here it is:

A 22-year-old man was killed in a car accident earlier this morning after veering to avoid a dog in the road, according to police.

Technically, it's correct. But let's consider something I call the Peanut Barrel rule.

Here it is: Let's say you work at The State News, and one night you wrote this story for The State News and then headed down to the Peanut Barrel to meet friends who DON'T work at The State News and who don't particularly give a shit about journalism for a legal drink or two afterward.

So, you're there with your non-journo pals and then they asked you what you wrote about today. What would you say? More importantly, what would be first to come out of your mouth?

"Uh, well I wrote something abut a dude who got killed when he swerved his car to miss a doggie in the road."

I don't think so. What I think you'd say would be something like this:

"Dude, this was so effed up I don't believe it! Some guy was driving his car all crazy fast so he could make it to his wedding, but he CRASHED and DIED! On his WEDDING DAY! Soo effed up."

I really do think you'd certainly include the wedding angle. That's what made this crash unique and especially poignant and tragic.

If it's a fact or angle that would pass the Peanut Barrel test, then it's a good fact or angle for a lede. If your proposed lede doesn't pass Peanut Barrel muster, then try again until it does.

Obviously, you need to clean it up a bit for print. But the basics would remain the same: A 22-year-old man speeding at 100 mph crashed his car and died, just 10 minutes before his wedding was to begin.

Again, I can't say your lede was incorrect. Clearly, it passes factual muster. But is it really complete? No. It misses context, like calling 9/11 just a plane crash.

More Ledes: Fatals

PROBLEM: In one lede, we said the crash happened on Bell Avenue. In fact, the crash happened on Kirkmann Road, and the bride-to-be lived on Bell Avenue.

SOLUTION: Before writing, carefully go over the information to make sure you understand all the facts as they are. After writing, double-check against your notes every noun (person, place or thing), identifying labels (like addresses, titles and such), numbers, dates and the entirety of all quotes to make sure what you wrote was what you intended to write.

More Ledes: Don't Assume

Like in this lede:

There are many fears that go through a bride's mind before their wedding. For Sara Howard, she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church.

Now, it's structurally fine. But the question I have is, how do you know she never thought to worry about her husband's drive to the church?

In the information you were given, you have no indication whether she wasn't worried, or that her fiancee was a shitty driver who had her constantly terrified with his lead foot.

Here, we went beyond the information you had, and made an assumption. We were being creative based on our guessing, not the facts. And we can't do that.

Now, as a journalist you would have been correct to find out if she ever though she'd have to worry about her fiancee's driving. And if she answered yes, then this lede would be perfect.

But we need to confirm the facts first.